Saturday, March 6, 2010

Instant Beauty Pageant

I watched this show the other day and it fascinated me. The hosts (one of which is the actor that plays the infamous Ryan from All My Children) go to the mall, pick out a few girls, give them some money to shop then pit them against each other in a life or death cage match beauty pageant. Well, maybe not life or death but a trip to Cancun or somewhere like that is pretty cool.

They actually have a beauty pageant. They construct a stage in the mall, do an opening group choreography and have 3 outfit changes. But what struck me is the talent. Some of the girls are lucky to be able to sing so that works as a skill you can use if ever you get ambushed while shopping for socks. But what if you play a mean tuba? You may well have a scholarship to the Worldwide Woodwind Academy but you can't go home and fetch it to display your talent. So what do you do? You give a makeover. Yup, one of the contestants gave a makeup consultation to an audience member. What?

I can't sing. The closest I can get is high score on Sing Star. So if I got ambushed, I'd have to blog or play Scrabble with someone. I'm not good at much anything else. Oh to be able to bake a cake because I'd have that locked. What could I do in such a short period of time? Download an iPod app? Demonstrate proper dragonboat paddling technique?

I'm just thankful (sort of) that these tv producers aren't interested in middle aged, bald, overweight, black women. Because honestly, I'd make such bad television. I translate much better on paper.

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