Tuesday, December 31, 2013

At 2:01 today I

Was spending time with family in Montreal.

This is my daddy.

Plus I was playing with my new phone, a Samsung 3 something. I'm still trying to get used to it since the learning curve coming off my precious iProducts is more like a set of steep stairs than a curve.

I want to wish all my readers a wonderful New Year's Eve filled with rum punch and soca music (wait, that's mine)... well, one filled with the things and people you love most. I hope 2014 brings you lots of love and friendship and plenty of patience to deal with my frequent flights of fancy. Let's have a great year together, shall we?

And let's get the word out about this little blog. If you like it, share it with a friend. If I get more readers I'll be forced to post more (and better quality as well) so it'll be a win/win for everyone!

Happy New Year!

All my love,
Karen Kaye (kxx)

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Done (finally)

Moving on... at 2:01 today I...

That's an E7, I'll have you know.

Was taking a break from all the wrapping, cleaning and cooking. I've decided to teach myself the standard "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve" by New Year's Eve. It's full of knuckle crunching chords and I'm loving every minute of it. I really enjoy the jazzier songs played on the uke. Looks like I've found myself a niche...


Monday, December 23, 2013

I'm not done!

I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done.

Have I mentioned that I still have freaking Christmas shopping to do? UGH!


This is who I am now.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

"How boring..."

Is what you'll say after reading this post. I have a little pressure here as I just heard from my kids' music teacher that he heard about me and wants to start reading my blog. Yikes! A professional person wants to read my insane ramblings? Of all days to come up short on a fascinating topic or cunning insight into the mystical mind of a fascinating woman.

Heh. I just called myself a "fascinating woman". I suppose I may be just that to someone who isn't living in my weird (and flabby) skin. I guess we all have something cool or interesting about us. Otherwise why would you take valuable time out of your busy day to read whatever blathering nonsense I have rattling around in my head today?

Which admittedly is nothing. Hoo boy, I'm in fine form right now. Best end this before anyone gets hurt. Stay tuned, Mr S. I promise this stuff gets better. Or at least less... boring?


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

At 2:01 today I

Can you guess the theme in our preschool this unit?

was checking the status of my library books. It's a thrilling whirlwind of incredible activity around here, I tells ya...


Monday, December 16, 2013

Disney or Bust

Well, the Kaye's are finally going to the happiest place on earth, and we need tons of advice from people who've been there before. Have you been? On a scale of one to ten, one being "loved it" and ten being "I plan on living here, send word to my attorney" how much did you enjoy it? I'm a bit worried that I'm setting myself up for failure here since I have no barometer... only the little kid in me screaming to get there already. Is it weird that all I want to do is get on the damned Dumbo ride?

Anyway, anything at all you can tell me, tips, tricks, advice... good, bad or ugly, I want to know. If it helps, we'll be going the second week of February.

Thanks in advance. I'm looking forward to all your insightful comments.

Aaah, blogging is an interesting thing. These posts where I ask for help get very little response, but posts where I just spout a bunch of nonsense inspire an avalanche of comments. What's going to happen this time? I'll google the info if I have to, but I really wanted experiences from people I "know". Come on, peeps... Give it up.


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

All I want for Christmas is... gift cards?

Um, how about no. Because I love you, I want to picture you driving around the mall parking lot for ages trying to find a space until you finally give up and slowly follow someone leaving the store to their car only to find out that they have to load $10,000 worth of merchandise and a giant screen plasma into a Smart For Two.

I want you to agonise wondering if you should get me the festive holiday scarf or the Doctor Who tea cosy. (Hint: the cosy... it's always the cosy).

I want you to try your best to find something you think I'd love that you can wrap with a bow and watch me tear open with glee and gratitude.

A gift certificate is nice if you don't know me well (so why are you getting me a gift anyways?) or if I teach your kid. Cash is fine if you're my dad and you can't be arsed to actually leave the house even for that gift card but if you know and love me just look for an item however small. I'm easy to buy for, promise. And in case you are so inclined, here's a handy list of things I enjoy.

The aforementioned Doctor Who
My ukulele (Idris)
Watching TV
Blogging and computer stuff in general
Clothing accessories like purses, earrings and funky necklaces
Listening to music

See? Tons of ideas right there that revolve around those activities. And can be pretty cheap. You have time for this, I promise. Just have a simple conversation with the one you love and find out what they like. You won't be sorry when you see the light in their eyes that comes from receiving a gift that shows you were paying attention in a package that's thicker than an average pharmacy envelope. Plus the mental image of you rage parking? Well that is just an added holiday bonus.


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

At 2:01 today I was

Getting my blood pressure checked. My doctor is worried about my hypertension and is trying to adjust my medication. I actually love going. It's 30 minutes of complete peace and quiet. I'm told not to talk or move a muscle. Hm. Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have snapped this...


It looks like an 8 but it's a 3... 137/80. That time. It tests me 6 times in all.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Watching Bugs Bunny over the weekend

And I realized something. Well, I noticed a few things one of which should have been that I'm 46 years old, and I should have been watching The Fifth Estate or something smart but that's neither here nor there...

Anyways, what I noticed was if Wile E. Coyote is such a super genius (his words not mine)...

and has the ability both monetarily and cognitively to order multiple products from the weirdly vast Acme catalogue (Earthquake pills? Really?), he can surely just go to the local Costco and buy fresh or frozen roadrunner at a fraction of the cost and effort. Not to mention avoiding the inevitable personal peril. Although to be honest, Costco on the weekend is fraught with dangers that would make Friz Freleng's penis retract into his abdomen. The place is hell on earth but that's a topic for another post.


Thursday, December 5, 2013

To thank or not to thank...

So it's year end at my school. For years if I got anything from a parent, I sent a personalized thank-you note. It wasn't fired off quickly, and I bent over backwards to write one, even if I got a gift on the very last day. I'd scrawl one out and hand it to the parent on their way out.

Last year I heard a different opinion, and I really want to put it out there to parents (and anyone with $.02 to spend). This opinion states that by giving you a small token, the parents are already thanking you so a thank you note for the thank-you gift is starting to go down a rabbit hole of Canadian style politeness.

So the question is: would you expect a thank-you note for a teacher gift? Are you insulted if you don't get one? Do they need to be personalized? Seriously, I have enough paperwork at this time of year what with individual developmental assessments and other stuff. My brain is oozing.

What do you think?


Tuesday, December 3, 2013

At 2:01 today I...

Was trying something I saw on the interwebs. No, nothing weird. Do you not know me at all? It had to do with food.

Anyway, supposedly all you have to do to peel an orange easily is cut off the top and the bottom, slice it down one side and "unroll" it.

Like everything you see on the internet, it worked... kind of. It didn't unroll beautifully like the photograph (which I think may have been the notoriously easy to peel mandarin versus my navel (orange, that is)). Then when it came to eating the segments, most of them stuck making it just as hard as usual to separate them from the peel individually.

So boys and girls what did we learn today? That copying stuff from lifehacker is iffy at best. But still worth a try as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. And I got a yummy orange out of the deal anyway so there's that...


That's the way it's supposed to look.

Monday, December 2, 2013

No wonder I'm always tired

The other day I was telling Scott that I'm not sure why I'm so exhausted at the end of the day. Keep in mind that the end of my day is usually 1pm. Then I went on to tell him the thing I say under my breath every day, seconds before the kids start arriving. As soon as I said it the penny dropped.

"It's showtime!"

Then I'm on. From 8:30 to 1pm it's all big toothy smiles and enthusiastic enthusiasm. I grin through temper tantrums and crocodile tears. I crouch and bend and jump and stretch. I've even been known to turn a cartwheel or two. Today I even did a handstand in the pool. I sing and mug and behave like a clown. Yes, it's only for four and a half hours, but it's literally non-stop. In fact, sometimes going to the bathroom is my only break. So when you catch me drooling into my couch cushions at 2pm, just put my Snuggie over me and move on. I deserve it.


Thursday, November 28, 2013

I'm full.

And it isn't even my thanksgiving. I just ate way too much dinner. Who can resist donairs? I certainly can't. Obviously.

So Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends. I indulged in a sympathetic pig-out just for you. Well, that's a lie. I just plain and simple have no will power no matter what day it is.

Our Thanksgiving was a month ago but the good thing about the American one is that tomorrow we have "black Friday" sales with none of the family dinner post traumatic stress disorder. Thank you selfish Canadian consumerism gods who are so afraid of cross-border shopping that they have monster sales on what is essentially just a regular Friday a month before Christmas. I'm off for some deals. An Xbox maybe?


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Hanukkah!

It's Hanukkah at my school (well, everywhere that celebrates Channukah Hanukkah Hanuka Chanukka, actually and can I just say that spellcheck accepted all those spellings so I'm leaving them in?), and we are celebrating by doing fun things in my class like making menorahs and playing with flashlights in the dark (you know, festival of lights and all).

Anyway, apropos of nothing... here are pictures of nothing related to the above Jewish festival!

This made me laugh the other night

Idris and me at BUG night (Bytowne Ukulele Group)

We sang that (but I'd never heard it before)

Look what I made!  The second one's thumb was so awful that the mitten looks like a heart

Two Coronation Street actors that I love in a scene together which is as rare as them actually smiling

Audrey and I not looking our best

How every chess game should end

Look at the funny van. Can anyone identify?

They're so cute when they're asleep

Who else makes a croque-en-bouche when they're bored?

This made me laugh

This photo is the embodiment of my summer

One of those photos I can't believe I took, let alone with my crappy iPod camera


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

At 2:01 today...

I was working putting the finishing touches on my class newsletter. I'm proud to say that I was truly just putting the finishing touches on it. It was mostly complete this weekend. Take that procrastination. Note that I artfully photographed it editing out the 15 or so tabs I was running in the background. Heh.


Monday, November 25, 2013

I'm currently wearing a fez.

You heard that right. You see, the eleventh incarnation of the Doctor regularly wears one and Audrey and I just came from a 3D screening of The Day of the Doctor at my local theatre (okay, if local is 20 odd kilometres away) okay, I'm losing the thread. Let me start again.

Back to the fez. About 15 years ago Scott went to Egypt and brought this weird little hat back for me. I never knew what to do with it... it just sat on a shelf until Steven Moffat decided to write one into the script of my favourite programme. I wore it in public for the first time without an ounce of humiliation on my part. I can't say the same for Audrey, however.

Now that the 50th anniversary is over, I hope to be bringing you less Who-centric posts and more stuff about my life and junk. Well, that's the plan, anyway.



Thursday, November 21, 2013

Oops, my geek is slipping again...

I just changed the wallpaper on my iPod. Here is the lock screen:

TARDIS door...

And here it is after it's unlocked...

Bigger on the inside. Get it? iPod? World at my fingertips? The irony is not so much subtle as does hit you over the head with a shovel. Or sonic screwdriver.

I seriously need an intervention.


PS: You know, my family is totally enabling me. This was Audrey's idea.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Google was kind enough to tell me

that today is International Children's Day. You mean it isn't Children's Day every day? And that every holiday (even previously couple-centric Valentine's Day) hasn't skewed toward kids? As a mother, aunt, godmother, great (GREAT)-aunt and a preschool teacher, every second of my life revolves around kids. Exhausting, hilarious, frustrating kids.

I imagine that this holiday observance is more about the plight of children in faraway lands who are starving or forced to be soldiers but if a North American child hears that it's Children's Day, don't tell me their spoiled asses won't be looking for presents under the Children's Day tree.

I just read that back, and it reads like I don't like kids. I do. I really do. They just can't fool me...


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

At 2:01 today I was...

Packing my gym bag for tomorrow.

See that red thing? Microfibre towel. Where has it been all my life?

Since September on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I wake up at 5:30am to do a Bootcamp class before work. Then I shower and get ready before I start at 8:30. The number of times I forget something dire like my towel or my bra I can count on one hand because I always pack my bag the day before, very early in the afternoon.

You may call it organised, but I call it absolutely necessary. I really do need 15 hours to mentally pack and repack that bag so my ancient sieve-like brain doesn't let me down like it so badly wants to do. I may be getting older and more loopy, but I'm picking up coping mechanisms along the way like breadcrumbs. i'm not as dumb as I look...



Thursday, November 14, 2013

Eight things you don't know about me

Oh Facebook.  All I did was like a friend's post of 12 things I didn't know about her, and then she posted me a number and here we are. Two things go through my mind when faced with things like this. The first is "why waste this blog post gold on a  Facebook status?" and "what don't you already know that I haven't told you in 7 years?" This may be harder than I think.

  1. I knee-jerkingly say I hate country music. I don't. In fact there's a surprising amount on my iPod. I love that new stuff, but I'm also partial to Patsy Cline. I know. right?  
  2. I hate cooking more than I hate cleaning the toilet.
  3. I hate when the phone rings. If I lived alone I'd never even look at the display let alone answer it.
  4. More than anything, the thing I'd most like to change about my body is my shoe size. On what planet is a size 9 foot on a 5'2" person? Failing that, I'd like to grow 5 inches.
  5. I worry that if there's a need for it, I couldn't shovel dig a usable hole.
  6. I just bought Justin Timberlake tickets. Hey, it's supposed to be things you didn't know about me. There was no mention of emotional depth. I bought two tickets for that boy's concert this afternoon.
  7. If left to my own devices I could watch tv uninterrupted from the moment I wake up in the morning to the time I fell asleep at night without being bored. Someday I want to do exactly that.
  8. I lie when I say that someday I want to grow out my hair. I never want to.
There's my eight. It only took me 90 minutes and they're pretty lame. If you really want to know some dishy stuff about me, the archives are on the right. Enjoy.


Wednesday, November 13, 2013

This is what I read

I love blogs. Other people's blogs are where I get my inspiration. Of course I love a funny blog because that's the way I prefer to be entertained. I don't follow any news or political blogs but I do love lifehacker where you can find great tips on getting the attention of bartenders in a busy club or find you the best cell phone plan. Great, practical stuff.

I collect them all and read them through a website called "feedly". I have to read through my blog feed every day because I follow so many that by the end of even one day I have nearly 100 posts to wade through. It sounds like a lot but it's so much fun. People are so funny and informative that I'm completely addicted.

I haven't read a hard copy book in years.

Anyway, here's a list of all of the blogs I follow. If you write a blog, let me know and I'll follow you. I mean look at this. What's one or two more?


CBC.ca | Under The Influence
Conversation Street
Crash Course in Awesome
HowStuffWorks "Official PopStuff Podcast Page"
Monkey See


BANG BANG! Shots by me.
Bizarro Blog!
blanche's polish hip
Bluenose Corrie Blogger
Cake Wrecks
Corrie Canuck
Generation T
Having Fun with Lori Gibbs's Facebook Wall
Hyperbole and a Half
Jew In The City Breaking down stereotypes about religious Jews ...
Melanie Auld Designs Blog
Message With A Bottle
Party of 3
passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
People of Walmart
Postcards from the Mothership
Running from Camera
Sleep Talkin' Man
The Kaye Way
The Mary Sue
The Oatmeal - Comics, Quizzes, & Stories
The Sassy Curmudgeon
Through the Halls of Bell HS

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

At 2:01 today I

was starting a new project. Why do I do this to myself? Why?? I predict many hissy fits.

It says fingerless mitts but I think I'll learn mittens. If that's the case I'll be swearing a lot. Made with love? Nope. Try anger and frustration.


Monday, November 11, 2013

Remembrance Day for three year olds

So today is Remembrance Day, and I wanted to mark it in my class but without saying anything too heavy, scary or confusing. So this is how I put it at circle time today...

"Today is a day when we think about soldiers. Some of them are really far away making sure people are staying safe and happy. Soldiers can be mummies or daddies or big kids that are away from their families for a long time. Lots of times they go away to places where it's hot, and they are thirsty, and they get sand in their boots. You all know that doesn't feel so good. So on this day we remember that we want the soldiers to stay safe, be comfortable and go home to their families."

I pretty much left it at that because I didn't want to have a start a serious geopolitical discussion with near-toddlers. I'd lose.

Anyway, at 11 o'clock I turned out one of the lights to get their attention and instead of trying to get them to stand at attention (I wouldn't have even tried. Playdough was out...), we sang O Canada as loud as we could. I think the troops would have been okay with that.


Friday, November 8, 2013

Rethinking the squirrel.

Coming out of work today, I saw 2 squirrels trying to eat stuff out of the dumpster. Not that weird, actually until you realize that squirrels are rodents. Honestly, they must have a great PR department because all they need is a shaved tail, and we'd be screaming and running away from the damned things. Think about it...

Huge rat-like creatures cavorting and chasing each other around your local park. Giant toothy mammals climbing trees and stealing from your bird feeder. Imagine them as rats, people. And squirrels are everywhere. Gives you shivers, doesn't it?

Fluffy tail = cute. Shaved tail = vermin.

I don't make the rules, but I'm creeped out by squirrels far more than rats. Granted the only rats I've ever seen were available for purchase, but still. A wild animal that has such free reign of the great outdoors? I'd just keep my eye on them, is all. Their fluffy tails could be a smokescreen to keep you from seeing what they really are. The "cute" and visible face of the rodent conspiracy. You've been warned.


PS: I just re-read this post, and it's completely nuts (I guess that pun was intended). Sorry. Weird day...

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The anti-Rob Ford

Many of you have heard about the embarrassing mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford who stoops to lower and lower depths of humiliating behaviour on a daily basis. I won't go through it all here (I couldn't, I'd break the internet) but here's a nice antidote to that ass-wipe's antics.

On my drive in to work this morning, I couldn't believe my eyes when I stopped at a red light in front of a bus stop. Who did I see fishing tickets out of his pocket for the oncoming bus? Ottawa mayor Jim Watson. No entourage (in fact there was no one else at the stop) no fanfare, just a guy with his briefcase on his way to a probably boring public service job.

As I was stopped right in front of him, I rolled down my window and yelled "Hey Jim, do you want a lift?" and he replied "It's okay, it's right behind you!" The light changed, and I drove off.

How cool was that? A normal, regular guy and not at all alcohol or crack addled like some other mayors I could mention. Thank goodness he didn't get into my car, though. The drive to City Hall would have made me crazy late for work.


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

"Did anyone cry today?"

Ever since my kids started school, I've been asking them this question. Here's why:

I learned long ago in ECE training, that when you ask a kid "What did you do today?", the answer almost always will be "Nothing." There's nothing more frustrating than that reply because you'll invariably hear from the teacher that your Little Precious had the most incredible day on the field trip to the airport where an air traffic controller took ill, and your kid had to talk down a fully loaded 747 based only on the flight training he received after too many hours playing fight simulator video games.

But I digress.

Every day I ask the kids several weird and pointed questions in order to make them open up about their school day. Here they are in no particular order:

Did anyone cry today? Dish!
Did the teacher get mad at anyone? Who?
Who made you laugh today? Why?
What was the best outfit you saw? The weirdest?
Did you hear music? When?
Any teen angst? Drama?  (the life event not the class)

Nearly every day I ask those questions and nearly every day I get some really lively dinner conversation. And that's my mum tip of the day.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

At 2:01 today I...

was practicing! I have my first lesson tonight, and I'm so excited! Idris and I will be in fine form tonight (I hope)...


Monday, November 4, 2013


That's the year I turned 20. I was still living in Montreal, and it was about a year before I met Scott. I had just been "review boarded" out of college and was trying to come up with a new life strategy. I decided with no pressure at all from my parents who were not at all fed up with my sponging off them without a job or degree in something, to take a degree in Early Childhood Education.

That was a good (if not lucrative) decision on my part.


See how I hold them in my thrall? Mwahaha! The power...

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween bust.

Again. This neighbourhood is so full of elderly people that we get very few visitors. That coupled with the fact that our street has no streetlights and the people at either end are Halloween grinches, the kids never make it into the middle where the cool kids live, and the residents give out sweet full-sized choccies. The doorbell (okay knocker) went less than half a dozen times, and it was all people who knew us. No strangers. Boo. Everyone's seen my horns and spooky eyes before.

At least it was 5 which is about 3 more times than previous years so it's getting better around here. We got the typical cute little kids in the fuzzy costumes first, then the preteens in the homemade costumes then the 2 teens who showed up one with a Scream mask and street clothes and the other with a regular scarf around the bottom half of his face. Not even a kerchief to say he was a cowboy. Wow. Way to go with zero effort, boys. That kid will probably be my doctor in the old folks home. The mind boggles.

My favourites were Erica and James who came to my place dressed as the Paper Bag Princess and Tom Baker's fourth Doctor Who. Loved it.

I ended up watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show with Audrey on tv and, man, is that movie awful without an enthusiastic crowd. Still had fun yelling at the tv, though but the kids were thoroughly baffled. I can't believe I've seen that movie around 2 dozen times. Wait, yeah I can. It's awesome.

So anyway, it's time to put my contact lenses away for another year. Maybe next year I'll get invited to a party so I can really enjoy this Halloween stuff. I'm still on the fence about it.