Thursday, June 30, 2011

Last day of school

Look ma, I've changed!

The last few years on the last day of school, I've posted how afraid I was of the kids being home, of how they'd start in with the "I'm boreds" within seconds and about how I couldn't wait for school to start again even though they'd been off for less than a couple of hours. It's true. Go see. I'll wait.








See? Well for some reason, this year it's different. Maybe because they're older. I'm excited for the kids to be here with me all day. We're going to have such a ball! I've got such plans... beach, zip lines, rafting, movies... I can't wait! Yes, they will get bored and I have rags and buckets for those occasions. The car and their rooms always need attention if they're looking to me for ideas on what to do. Other than that I feel a bit like Julie from the Love Boat. I always wanted to be her. The Cruise Director of a big important ship. Yeah, the SS Kaye. Toot Toot!

So if you'll excuse me, I've got to make more plans. The kids are circling around the computer like a school of sharks. Hey, I inadvertently kept the seafaring analogy going. Look at me... I'm a writer.


Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Not-Very Wordless Wednesday

Lots of shopping today! Why? Because we're going to be sitting in the VIP section for the Canada Day evening show on Parliament Hill and I want us to look nice. That's what I was banging on about yesterday. I'm so excited! I was told to dress "casual" but my casual:

and VIP casual:

is a leetle different. Personally, I'm trying for the second look but will inevitably feel like (if not look like) the first look.

Actually I'm going for white jeans (!) and a white top with red shoes and purse. I don't want to overdo it with the Canada flag/red and white stuff but I still wanted to be patriotic. And classy. Because you never know who'll show up!

Full report on our outfits (oh yeah, the whole family is going, too. Heh.) tomorrow and a complete review with video and photos on Monday.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I don't know what to write right now. Something awesome just happened and I'm not ready to post it... I just want to enjoy it on my own for a while. Don't worry, you'll all hear about it soon enough, trust me.

I felt the same when I went into labour the first time. The contractions woke me up from a deep sleep. Instead of waking up Scott right away, I "enjoyed" those first few contreactions all by myself for about half an hour before U woke him up. Not that I'm comparing this recent awesome thing with that old awesome thing from 15 years ago but it is more immediate.

Anyway, I'm a happy camper and that's all you need to know for today. Ooh, how about a photographic hint? Feel free to guess...

Monday, June 27, 2011

Happy "Birthday" Taz!

Well, we call it a birthday but it's actually the day my awesome, amazing cat came to live with us.

So here's the story:

We had another cat named Endora who truly lived up to her name. Red headed and evil (I'd even say witchlike), he'd hide under couches and on stairs and mercilessly slice at unsuspecting passersby with her razor claws. She destroyed my furniture, she alienated my friends, she hissed at us even when we were feeding or petting her and was generally the most horrible, unloveable, frightening, awful cat ever. We put up with it for 9 years until she had some kidney thing and thankfully dropped dead. I shed a tear but it wasn't sad... it was more like I'd dropped a plate and it shattered all over the floor. I'd miss the plate but oh well. I swore to never own a cat again.

Endora had been gone a few weeks and my neighbour Tina was moving. She told me she was taking her cat to the shelter. He was full grown and I knew that if she took him there he'd never leave. I told her I'd take him for a couple of weeks and bring him to the shelter myself if he was even a fraction like Endora. That was 12 years ago.

She'd had him declawed but still let him outside. We were against both things so we thought we'd try making him an indoor cat since the claw thing was impossible to fix. Yeah, that didn't last long. He pissed on everything in anger and rocketed out between our legs every time we opened up the door. Chasing him around the neighbourhood was too much trouble. So we deal with a clawless outdoor cat. I worry about him everytime he goes out but he's so much happier. He even still brings home all kinds of neighbourhood vermin and birds so he's not completely crippled.

Over the years we've had some hilarious stories with him. Like the time he followed Audrey into her school and disrupted the afternoon as they chased him around trying to catch him. How many times do you get a call from the school principal asking you to please come and pick up your cat?

Then there was the time he hopped up onto the couch to meet my new baby niece and when he hopped down again the leather couch was crawling with worms. There wasn't enough Purell in my house for her mum to clean her up and I was never more humiliated in my life.

So anyway, he's the best cat ever. Loving, adorable, noisy (he "talks" to us and purrs loudly just for the offense of looking in his direction) and amazing. I'd like to wish him the best adoption day ever and now I'm off to bake another cat shaped cake at the request of the kids. I barely need an excuse, do I?


Friday, June 24, 2011

Flashback Friday

I'm watching an old episode Gilligan's Island with the kids. The kids love nothing better than to watch tv shows of my youth and pick them apart. It's actually quite funny to watch them skewer my old faves but I sure realise how much more mature kids today are. I never questioned why Ginger had so many outfits and the Professor had so many books on a 3 hour tour. I just shut up and watched. Now they're talking about triangulating signals to find the castaway's location and laughingly wondering how it's possible for Mary Ann to make a pie crust in the jungle with no Crisco. The cooking thing? So my kids.

So anyway, the word of the day for Flashback Friday is "Ginger". Enjoy this post from March 2007. It's a slice of life (in all its weirdness) from my family in the 80's.

Have a great weekend!


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Weirdness from yesterday

Scott and I had a day out alone together. He had a meeting and I, naturally, wanted to shop.

At the mall I thought I lost my $300 sunglasses. I retraced my steps and found them at a store where I put them down as I tried on tops. There was no ledge in the change room so I hooked them on the neck of one of the tops I ended up not taking. The manager and I looked everywhere with no luck. Then after I gave her my name and number I thought I'd look at the rack of t-shirts where I'd seen the one I'd tried on. Sure enough, there they were still hooked on t-shirt only back on the rack. How did they not notice when restocking? Anyway...

Later, Scott and I went to a jeweller to have our wedding rings re-sized. His went up half a size and mine a whopping 2 sizes. Hello, sausage fingers. The thing is, I've been wearing them for 16 years, never taking them off for anything. Ever. They've been off my finger for maybe a grand total of 20 minutes in all those years. So my knuckle got bigger but the actual finger stayed the same size. Now the knuckle is even more swollen after I spent 10 minutes crying and soaping my hand trying to pry the rings off before I got there. 

Then at the end of the day, Henry came home from school with a goatee drawn on his face in green marker. Supposedly he and his friends were brimming with end-of-the-year silliness when the incident occurred. He said it happened at lunchtime so he went all afternoon, took the schoolbus and walked home looking like this: 

He says I should "see the other guys". Ugh, boys. What a strange day.


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Here is a video from Audrey's birthday party over the weekend. The girls were making a godawful racket and I ran upstairs to find them doing this. Kinda cool. Noisy but cool.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Massive thanks!

The Dragonboat Festival on the weekend was incredible. Our club teams did really well winning a gold and 2 bronze medals. The day was glorious. Cool in the shade, warm (but not hot) in the sun, no humidity... perfect. There were a couple of flies in the ointment, though. We had a brisk 5 second head wind that messed with our times and we had a near disaster when another boat hit and nearly tipped us but it was amazing, fantastic fun. I can't wait to do this again at the Dragonboat World Crews in Toronto in a few weeks.

Now how's that for not boring my non-dragonboat readers by going on and on about it? I have to admit I had to edit the above paragraph to within an inch of it's life but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Oh one more thing. I want to that my donors from the bottom of my heart. The festival is a blast but it's also a charity event and I want to personally thank:

Lisa, Sean and Holden
My daddy
And someone anonymous... who does that? Take the credit, you nut! But it's fantastic and I thank you generous stranger!

I can't tell you how happy I was to receive your donations and know it goes to great causes around the city. Because of you I was able to walk around with 3 clanking medals around my neck. And if you missed out this year, not to worry. There'll be another chance next year at around this time, just stick around. Love you lots,


This was the view from the stage when we got awarded one of our medals:

*** Watching as the bird that was trapped in your chimney for 24 hours fly out the window and land on a tree across the street = AWESOME! ***

Monday, June 20, 2011

Wanna freak out?

Here are some seemingly unrelated occurrences from today:

  • Three notable songs came up on my iTouch while it was merrily on shuffle. They were Celebration by Kool and The Gang, Mama by the Spice Girls and One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey
  • When I got dressed I grabbed an ancient tank top that I made for home ec in 1983
  • I put on my pretty pearl stud earrings
  • I had a mad craving for grapefruit juice which I bought while I was grocery shopping.

I came home and pulled out the juice and poured myself a glass even before I put away any of the groceries. Then another. Scott had come into the room and poured himself a glass. Mid-third glass I said too him "I had an awful craving for grapefruit juice today. You know I never buy it. Weird because it was..."

And it finally hits me. "It was my mother's favourite juice."

Today is the 16th anniversary of my mother's death. I had totally forgotten but she had been sending me messages all day.
  • Celebration was her all-time favourite song. Mama is about not appreciating your mother until you grow up and One Sweet Day is about saying what you need to to that special person before it's too late.
  • The ancient tank was made from material my mother salvaged from the skirt of an old 60s dress in the back of her closet.
  • The pearl earrings were the last gift my brother and I ever gave her. 
Isn't that cool? I'm not usually a person who is terribly in tune with the universe or signs or spirit world quackery but when your mother demands attention from the afterlife by grabbing your collars and shaking you can't help but take notice. Message received.

Miss you mum! I love you and I always will.


Friday, June 17, 2011

Happy Birthday Diva!

As of 9:00 this morning, 2/3 of my children are teenagers. Audrey turns 13 today. I'm kept busy preparing for her "party" which is no more than a sleepover with gifts. Kids her age just want to "hang out" so gone are the days of me planning a theme for weeks and spending hundreds on a related party complete with matching cake and loot bags. The year she had a garden party I was run ragged making cucumber sandwiches on homemade bread and fondant covered petit fours for each little girl. I made special loot bags containing real china teacups and saucers (from the Salvation Army), and plants from the garden centre topped off with a craft where they decorated the flowerpots then planted the flowers themselves. Whew. Damn my hatred of cheap-ass candy/toy loot bags.

This year she's hosting 5 friends in a tent in the backyard. First they'll go to the local pool then back here for pizza, chips, pop and cake. Then a movie, some sleep (hopefully) and breakfast of bacon and eggs. Easy (and cheap). Apparently there is an upside to having teens.

So here's to my amazing, bright, funny, moody and weird teenage daughter. She takes after her mother in every way. I love you baby girl!


Thursday, June 16, 2011


How bad is my self-esteem that I was tickled all day by a grody old man who swaggered up to me, looked me dead in the eye and said "Beautiful, beautiful" in a creepy lascivious way. All that was missing was him licking his lips yet I was still flattered and gave him my biggest smile. Ew.

Explaining a soap opera plot to someone who doesn't watch makes you feel really stupid and question the reason why you've watched this soap for 25 years. Then you shake your head and watch in dismay as Amanda overhears Jake and Cara talking about the illicit kiss they shared. Oh my heavens...

Half a loaf of french bread and a tub of fondue is not lunch.

My feet are disappointingly wide.

When it's hot and steamy outside, there's nothing better than a cream soda flavour Mr. Freeze.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

(Not so) Wordless Wednesday

Help! This is the front of my house. Scott pulled out two ugly mismatched shrubs that were on either side and nearly blocking the front door as well as another round cedar-y thing that was blocking the lower left window and completely taking over that little grassy patch. You can see the soil where it was. The irises under the right lower window can go too. I'm not in love with them.

So now what do we do? Any thoughts? Obviously it's a blank page right now so anything goes. I like to sit out front rather than in back. I like to see what's going on and talking to the neighbours. That shouldn't surprise you. That's my terrible (but strangely comfortable) orange plastic chair.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Any and all ideas will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Best. Commercial. Ever.

A few years ago my family and I were privileged to be in a television ad helping to promote Canadian Chicken. It has run across the country every June since. In fact, besides the Coronation Street debacle exposure, it's what I most get recognised for. On the street, no less. And, yes, I do give autographs. Or I would if anyone asked.

I've been told it's been playing again this month but I haven't seen it yet. If you're like me and miss seeing me on television, feast your eyes on this:

Brilliant, right? I know you question that look at the end. I was told to look "satisfied" but could only muster a "what's that smell?" kind of vibe. It had been hours of filming and I was tired. Or maybe someone actually did cut one... who can remember?


Monday, June 13, 2011

Happy Monday, all!

I'm in another great mood. I don't know if it's the great jog I had with Scott this morning, the illicit nap I took afterwards, the fact that my schedule for the day is completely clear or the Strongbow I'm drinking but I'm loving life right now.

This week I have 2 dragonboat practices (plus a festival on Saturday), Audrey's 13th birthday on Friday and most worryingly a staff party for a job I don't even start until the end of August. I'm so anxious that I even asked Scott for fashion advice**.

I won't know anyone there except my new boss and the women I met on the floor the day I went for a visit, most of whose names I don't even remember. Yikes. That night I'll have to eat and socialize with them. I'll have to make small talk and maybe even big talk. I'll have to be on my very best behaviour and be pretty much perfect. Heh heh heh... noooo problem. [picture me smiling an uneasy smile and wiping a sheen of sweat off my brow]

I just want to make a good impression, you know? I want them to see me that night and say "Wow, we made the perfect decision by choosing her." I only wish I hadn't done this to my nails over the weekend:

They are nail stickers. I would take them off but they are sooo expensive. Besides if they are going to get to know the real me, at some point they have to learn that I sometimes do nutty things. Just sometimes, mind you.


**I have to mention that his advice was solid. He told me to wear black pants and a nice top.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Flashback Friday

Good evening, all!

I've decided to embrace the fact that I can only get to the computer late in the day. I hope this doesn't inconvenience you in any way. Actually, if the numbers are anything to go by, I've lost about 30 daily readers since what I'm calling the unpleasantness (that I'll never explain here... it was personal) so it won't bother as many of you as it would have a month ago. Anyway, onto the flashback...

I'm watching Iron Chef right now and the the word that stuck out was chips. By the way, I'm not sure why I watch this show. The challengers never win and usually the "secret ingredient" is something I find gross like eggs or mussels. But since I got the food network at Christmastime, I've been addicted to everything on their schedule. I could watch them pour milk on Rice Krispies, it all looks so sexy and delicious. Anyway, this was the blog that amused me when I plugged "chips" into the search box:

Where the eff are my chocolate chips? From January 2010.

Have a great weekend!


Thursday, June 9, 2011

Okay, I'm going to do it.

I only do it once a year and never any other time but I'm going to ask. I'd like to put in a request for donation for my dragonboat team. We are the Dunrobin Dames and to be frank, we are really good. We medal at nearly every competition we enter and although we have an average age of 47, we are a force to be reckoned with. This year we're even going to compete in the Dragonboat World Crew Championships in Toronto next month.

This is us.

This is us in action.

We look good, eh?

So we're asking for donations to help lots of local charities. Check out the website for details. The race is on Father's Day weekend and we've been training like mad women. Today we had the craziest practice. The waves were ridiculous and we were drenched when we were done. But when you love something, a shitty day doesn't faze you. And we love paddling.

So here's the link. In the drop box, under "choose a team to donate..." click on ORCC Dames. Please use it to donate if you are so inclined. No pressure but know I'll do the traditional shout-out to my generous donors on Friday the 17th. Thank you in advance and I promise never to do this to you again. Until next year, that is...


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Okay, it is going to be more wordy than usual because I forgot to write a blog yesterday. So here goes...

Get a load of this.

It's the biggest moth I've ever seen that wasn't pinned to a display at the Museum of Nature. This prehistoric monster was found at my canoe club on the weekend. My real life friends know that I have an irrational fear of moths. Yes, I know they don't bite or sting. Yes, I know they are "beautiful". Yes, I know they pollinate pretty, pretty flowers... And I'm not afraid of butterflies. But moths? Even the teeny ones? No thanks. I said it was irrational, didn't I? But honestly, anyone would be freaked out by Moth-Ra here.

I was so petrified that I had to use the zoom lens to take the above picture from 8 feet away. It had a torn wing and wasn't going anywhere but I didn't want to take any chances. Every time it flapped (besides the breeze I felt), my blood pressure rose and I had to fight turning tail and running away like I was on fire. But I was still so fascinated I couldn't look away.

Someone had taken pity on it and put it on a plate and gave it some food in what we call the "can". It's like an office where the phone, stationery and other things are kept. I was volunteering that day and kept having to go in and out past the beast. Every time someone needed a pen or a piece of paper I'd inch by with my back against the wall keeping my eye on it until I got what I wanted. It was as if it was holding a gun on me. So ridiculous. Sometimes I'd get so hypnotised by it that I'd just stare until someone came by and snapped me out of it. Once it even took nearly getting hit in the head by a swinging kayak to bring me to my senses. I suspect that that's how they kill things. By stupefying their victims so they walk into traffic or something. I'm no freaking entomologist. And I never will be.


*** Remembering to blog at a normal time = (will be) AWESOME! ***

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


You know what I just noticed? I didn't blog today.


See you tomorrow...


Monday, June 6, 2011


overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement; high-spirited: The award winner was in an ebullient mood at the dinner in her honor.
bubbling up like a boiling liquid.

Here are the reasons why the word applies to my mood today:

  1. The day is incredibly gorgeous. Sunny and warm with fluffy clouds and just the wisp of a breeze. 
  2. I saw tons of ducklings and goslings in the park. Do you want to make me giggle like a fool when there's no one else around? Send a family of stumbling chicks across my path.
  3. I sat on a bench and watched a couple of noisy frogs having breakfast. Well, I was hoping they were going to have breakfast but they were too busy singing to each other.
  4. My pimple cleared up overnight.
  5. I found a top new with tags at the back of my closet
So I'm feeling great, people. Again. To be honest I'm always in a good mood but today I nearly feel drunk with it. So let me get off this darned computer box and enjoy it, alright?


*** Strawberry season = AWESOME! ***

Friday, June 3, 2011

Flashback Friday

Today's word of the day is realize. I plugged it into the search box above and out of the bunch that popped up, this is the blog that made me expel that little gust of air through my nose in amusement. Apparently I really like vinegar...

November 15, 2006

*** Friday = AWESOME! ***


Thursday, June 2, 2011

I'm working again!

Yup, you heard that right. I have a job a real life, outside the house, paycheque, co-workers job. I'm so excited. This job is nothing less than perfect for me. You know when you take out a piece of paper and list the perfect thing for you whether it's the perfect guy (smart, cute, fit, funny) or the perfect dessert (zero calories, lots of cream and butter)? And how you know deep down that there's nothing like that out there so you'll just take whatever ticks the most of your boxes? Well this job isn't like that. It covers every one of my "perfect job" requirements. It's just mornings so I can still come home and bake and cook dinner and run errands. It pays enough so I can buy the odd pair of shoes. And most importantly I can be home in time for the daily teenager accession at the end of the day.

I'm happy, happy, happy AND I don't start until September so my London trip is still a go. See? All boxes ticked. I'm in love. Do NOT pinch me.


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Today I was reminiscing over the "good old days". Look at my baby boys. When I last saw them this morning, they were having a kick-fight on the couch and calling each other names. The fighting today was good-natured, I admit, but still. Look at those hairless faces and innocent eyes. Sigh!


*** Getting the job of your dreams = AWESOME! ***