Thursday, January 31, 2008

How cool!

Lost last night was awesome. It was the "enhanced version" which really was a repeat of last season's finale with information, catch-ups and neat insights in pop-ups. Absolutely brilliant.

It made me think of dvds. How much more interesting would things be if they started putting pop-ups (or at least a pop-up option) in the movie itself? I love trivia and the commentary track is one of the coolest things about buying a dvd. But very rarely do I run the option because instead of having the movie playing in normal volume with pop-up info and trivia, they turn the volume of certain scenes down and have the director or actors talk over the movie. It sucks. I don't know anyone who watches that option. I've only done it once with the Incredibles. It was interesting and illuminating but I'd much rather have the cool tidbits fed to me voicelessly while I watched the movie. Maybe it's just me but I think it's time for a pop-up revival.


Wednesday, January 30, 2008


You guys kill me sometimes. Last night before I went to bed I had about 37 hits and 4 comments to my banana blog. My banana blog, people. You do know it sucked right? I have to say that the posts that are just one step up from my famous "I got nothing" blogs get far more attention than the ones I work and slave over and think (modestly) are awesome, hilarious, witty and will one day get me published. Those most excellent blogs get easily 7 hits average and no comments at all. I just don't understand you guys. Not that I mind, though. I already have 117 hits this week and in the 2 years I've been blogging I have over 26,000. Who am I to complain? It shows me that you have excellent taste and the patience to sift through the dreck to get to the solid gold nuggets of bloggy goodness. Mmmm... nuggets....


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Going bananas

Let's talk about bananas today, shall we?

For a long time I didn't like them. Fresh ones anyway. I thought you looked like a monkey when you ate them and the smell when you ate them is, for want of a better word, banana-y. Those two things when you place them in front of a school-aged kid made for one banana-free childhood.

Today I love them. I think they're awesome and now that I'm forty I don't give a damn what people think when they see me eating one. But I hate the decision-making process when it comes to buying them.

I like to eat one a day. But they usually come in bunches of more than 7. So I have to do that thing where you separate the bunches in the store leaving a tiny "bunch" of about 3. Hate that. Then there's the ripe issue. Do I buy green ones and let them ripen on my counter? Or do I buy ripe ones and make banana bread with the black ones I have left at the end of the week? That's another problem I have. They all go gross at exactly the same time. Seeing that I like to eat a banana a day, I invariably have to eat them at non peak times. Only one or two days are they my version of perfect. Completely yellow with hardly any brown spots. And usually the whole batch is ready on exactly the same day. So by Friday or Saturday I'm eating bananas that I consider yucky.

Wouldn't it be great if the powers that be sold banana bunches in varying stages of ripeness so I can get what I want? Geneticists could come up with bunches of 7, some green and some perfectly ready to eat. Why can't I ever get what I want? Is it too much to ask?


Monday, January 28, 2008

Look what I made!

Here is the $30 cake I obsessed about for 2 weeks. I made a really delicious vanilla cake with tinted buttercream frosting and an orange filling. I bought the hockey guys and the nets but as you can see from the naivete of the design that the rest is all me. But you know what? I'm proud of it and frankly, happy to have it out of my house. So does it make any sense that I want to do it again?

kxx (go ahead... ask me how I did the Sens logo. I'm dying to tell you)

Friday, January 25, 2008

If there’s a coyote around, is the roadrunner far behind?

So there's a runaway coyote in a suburban town a bit south of here. People are calling the authorities everyday and reporting it's location. There are talks about hunting it or rounding it up and dumping it somewhere rural. Some are scared for their pets and kids. Some are saying that we encroached on it's territory by building out there in the first place and we should leave it alone.

I say is it coy-oh-tee or coy-ote?

Have a great weekend.


Thursday, January 24, 2008

Happy Birthday Mac!

I'm not too technically minded but I know enough to get a giggle from hearing that it's Mac's birthday today. Why giggle? Because the first Apple Mac:

Came out in 1984 (the year I graduated high school)
Had 2 serial ports
Space for 1 of those giant floppy discs
Ran OS1
Had an 8 inch screen
Had 128K of memory (less than my mp3)
And cost $2500 (about $5000 in 2008 dollars)

How funny is that? Something that I rely on every day, that my job depends on, that I love dearly had such humble beginnings. Now I complain when pages take too long to load while my 1984 self was still marvelling at correcting tape.


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Poor Heath

Everyone's talking about it so I may as well add my $0.02.

So sad that he was only 28. A waste of an awesome talent and gorgeous looks. I hope like crazy it really wasn't an overdose. What a humiliating way to go. And with a little daughter too.

On a lighter note, he was the only blond on my list. You know, the list of guys that Scott gave me a free pass to have sex with if they ever showed up at my front door. So I guess I'm in the market for a replacement. Any ideas?

My favourite movie of Heath's was A Knight's Tale. I saw it twice in the theatre and every time it comes on tv. It wasn't for everyone but it sure was for me. Everytime I here "We Will Rock You" by Queen or "Golden Years" by Bowie I think of it. So much silly fun.

I guess that's life in the public eye.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I’m on pins and needles here

Why do I let them get to me? Why does this happen year after year? What's going on? I'm waiting for the Oscar nominations to come out. D'uh.

There's a press conference this morning at 8:30 and I have the VCR all ready to tape. And yes, I'll watch it live too. It's been a tradition between my friend Kathy and me for years to watch all the Best Picture nominees before the big day. That's usually 5 movies in a month since they're not movies we'd ordinarily see on our own before the big announcement. Now that she lives in the UK, Scott has taken over her duties. It's not as much fun to watch certain scenes with him but it still generates a certain amount of excitement.

So I'll post again later with the movies I have to see and of course I'll provide you with my traditional "haiku movie review" after I've seen each one. I love Oscar season. Now please, writers, get it together so we can have a telecast.


Monday, January 21, 2008

Pillow Talk

Wanna know what happens between the sheets of a couple who've been together nearly 20 years? Read on...

I slide between the warm flannel sheets and gaze over to the love of my life who is already there waiting for me. He smiles at me. I smile at him. Then, the question I knew was coming:

Him: Did you set the alarm clock?
Me (sighing heavily): For what time?
Him: 5:30 thanks.
I set it then reach for my diary and start writing about my day.
Him: You writing about me?
Me: Yup. I'm writing about all the terrible things you do and the awful way you treat me. All my descendants will see the shit you put me through (I'm actually writing about buying cake decorating equipment). You should keep one too. But you'll have to make up all the bad stuff you put in.
Him (farting loudly): Don't forget to add that.
Me (laughing): Oh, I'm adding it. Trust me (I'm actually adding that I also went grocery shopping).
Him (seriously now): I really do love you, you know that, right?
Me: I do. And I love you too. I add that to my diary, close it and shut the light. I kiss him in the dark and we fall asleep, spooning until morning.

Hey, what did you expect? A steamy love scene? It's been twenty years, people. Two-Zero. We're a couple in a comfortable place in our lives and in our relationship. It may not be for everyone but it works for us. And shock of shocks: We're still happy. Except for the fact that he can't set an alarm clock and farts in the sheets. I can pass on those.


Friday, January 18, 2008

Happy Anniversary to meeeee!

So today is the 2nd anniversary of my blogging here at MySpace. Those of you who've been with me the whole time, CONGRATULATIONS! Those of you who recently joined, WELCOME!

I'm feeling rather smug and self congratulatory. And when people ask you when you started reading my work, you can say "right from the beginning when she did that pissant little blog". Hey, it may happen.

Happy Friday everyone,


Thursday, January 17, 2008

Towel proprietary rights and other hygiene issues

I hate when people touch my bath towel. And by people I mean my family. I've been with Scott for 20 years this September and my children sprang from my very own loins (there's a picture, eh?) yet if they wipe their hands on my towel I get grossed out and need to get a new one. Call me a freak if you like but I'm rarely sick. I can tell if they use it, too. I dampen then hang my towel in a certain way and I know when someone else has messed with it. Okay, I don't really but that sounded menacing, didn't it?

And don't get me started on using Scott's toothbrush. Yark! Maybe if I was a contestant on Fear Factor vying for half a million dollars. But I'd ask if I could please eat a giant spider after. Just to get the flavour out of my mouth.

Geez, I'm waving my freak flag today, aren't I?


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Why do they do that?

Lately I've been driven mad by songs that repeat a lyric over and over again. Believe me, I know about writer's block. I make you all read my nonsense on a regular basis. But musical artists are different. Aren't they? Hearing that song even once makes it stuck in my head all day. Arrrgh. Earworms. I know there must be a way to get rid of them but I don't know it. Maybe there's a way to click your brain off.

Sorry to have done that to you guys. But if I can't get rid of them I have to share. Have a great hump day.


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

What will they think of next?

I was watching tv the other day-- frankly, when am I not?-- and I saw the most hilarious commercial. They were advertising for a local wedding show. They advertised fashion shows! Taste testing booths! Hundreds of exhibitors! And for the guys? A "grooms room"!

A what now? I had so many thoughts running through my mind. Let's see... a bouncy castle/ball pit setup where men in stocking feet jump around, dive and play while the big girls make all the decisions. A poker/cigar-smoking/Swedish massage room where sexy (unwifely) women take care of his every need. A small, hot windowless room with a couple of ancient GQ magazines, piped in elevator music and some hard plastic chairs to sit on while they wait for their brides to finish rubbing paper perfume samples on their delicate wrists. The mind boggles.

All I can say is poor guys. It's a pretty big day for them too but they seem to be left by the wayside with no bigger decisions to make than what time to pick up their future wives from whatever event they're guest-of-honour at/hosting. Poor saps. And in the forseeable future it'll never change. Thank goodness.


Friday, January 11, 2008

Hi guys!

Chris(topher) reminded me that I never mentioned what I got for Christmas (along with a whole bunch of random things I couldn't think of anything else to add to let alone blog about... hee... but thanks anyway, C).

This Christmas Scott and I decided to really focus on the kids. In other words we were pretty broke after buying a washer/dryer and KitchenAid mixer this year. The focus was on the kids and that darn rabbit so I got Scott a framed print of a spitfire and he got me some accessories for my bike and for dragonboating. See why I didn't mention it? A yawnfest.

Have a good weekend my pretties! I hope to have some sort of creative brainwave over the weekend and I'll have 5 amazing and hilarious blogs for you next week. See you!


Thursday, January 10, 2008

Funny ads

January 10, 2008 - Thursday

Thanks to my friend Chris who sent this to me via Facebook. Enjoy.

kxx (hee)

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I’m having trouble getting into blogging this year

I just don't have anything interesting to share with you. Maybe I should start putting the onus (I said ONUS) on you to give me subjects and ideas. I just spent the last 1/2 hour checking out my old blogs for inspiration. Talk about trying to draw water from a dry well. So what do you all think I should write about? What have I been woefully ignoring? What have you been waiting with bated breath for me to write about? I will use every idea I get here within a week. Seriously. Hey I only get a few hits a day...


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

My new job starts today

Well not really new but it feels like it.

A lot of changes have been happening lately at the store and today I get to see what it's like. I haven't been to work all year. Okay, all 2008 but it still counts. In fact, I haven't been at work since the 14th December.

One of the biggest changes is that all my co-workers have moved to another building. They all have multiple cars for their families and can drive a little further to work. Myself, I can't guarantee that I can have the car on any given day and also have to rely on my bike and public transit so the building in Westboro is far more convenient for me. Convenient and new. New co-workers, new routine, maybe even new job duties. A bit scary, frankly. The upside is that I get a bunch of fresh new girls who haven't heard my tired old (and some say funny) stories and get to know a bunch of people who I'd only had a nodding aquaintance with before. I really hope I learn to love these new girls like I learned to love my former co-workers. They were so much fun. We howled with laughter all day. They made what can be a super boring data entry job more fun than it should have been. I'm a bit nervous. Wish me luck.


Monday, January 7, 2008

Good morning my pretties

Okay, everything is back to normal. The kids are back in school and here I sit blogging. Okay, it's not quite normal since I'm off work today and so is Scott but it's close enough. Wednesday for real (Scott's also home tomorrow so tomorrow doesn't count).

So Montreal went really well. The kids do a great job on the drive as long as they have 2 hours worth of junk food and they had their best manners with their Nana and Grandpa. Whew. The best part of the weekend? Seeing Uncle Mike (my baby bro) and making a kick-ass cheesecake that looked (and better yet tasted) just like one from the famous Dunn's. Heaven. The Mrs. Field's cookies I don't want to talk about. Worst part? Sleeping on the lumpy unpulled-out pullout couch Friday night because we were all just too tired to figure it out. That and the pimple I had on my chin felt like it was sizzling and popping so much that it actually woke me up a couple of times. There's nothing worse than dealing with both pimples and wrinkles. It's like stubbing your toe and barking your shin at the same time. It's unfairness on top of injustice.

Anyway, in all we had a nice time and now I'm back, baby. Hope you all have a happy Monday and it's not too traumatic for you. I'll (of course) be back tomorrow.


Friday, January 4, 2008

I’m such a poindexter

I just woke up from a highly pleasurable dream involving me snogging the co-host of Mythbusters. Did I mention he was completely nude? I watched the show last night (since I've never missed an episode) and I've had a crush on him for years. Yes, I'm well aware that he's not the least bit good-looking and a bit of a dork, frankly. But what can I say. I have a traitorous subconcious. The heart wants what it wants.

And talking about geeks, I was watching Trekkies 2 on the Space Channel over the weekend (yes, I'm aware of how that sounds) and decided to get a tattoo of a Starfleet comm-badge somewhere on myself (I'm also keenly aware of how that sounds). Ideally I'd put it where the comm-badge would be on a Next Generation uniform (over the left breast) but I'm already inked there. So the question remains... where? Ah yes, what's a nerd to do?

And in keeping with this anorak-like theme, here's a poem that Data wrote about his cat Spot in the episode "Schisms". Yes, I'm a dorkus and I'm proud.

Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carniverous by nature.
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predelection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents:
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.


Thursday, January 3, 2008

One more holiday chore to complete

Only don't let my dad know I called a visit to Montreal a "chore". We're leaving tomorrow afternoon and I should be writing a list of things to bring with me. Instead I'm blogging. Gee, What a shock.

Yesterday I made the kids write what they were planning on bringing for our 2 night excursion. Their motto? Who needs clothes? Besides toys, Audrey's list includes "deodorint" and a book, Elliott's has two books and Henry's has Wayne. I guess I have to pick up the slack here. As usual. I guess that's a mother's job.

Now stop pestering me, I've got a road trip to plan.


Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Morning peeps!

This is the first morning since the holiday started that I'm feeling back to normal. There's no more junky food left in the house, the tree is down (my decision, not it's) and Scott's at work. I'm reminded of the days when I used to be a stay-at-home mum. Next week I go back to work, the kids go back to school, and all the pieces will fall back into place. Can't wait.

I've done a bit of cleaning and have a load of laundry on. I'll probably bake something later on. Yes, I'm aware of the "junky food" comment made above but I'm a creature of many moods and I bake when I'm at loose ends. Sue me. Wow, look at this. Another stellar blog from yours truly. I'm going to watch Ellen.


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

HAPPY 2008!

I've got a question about passion. Does someone get passionate about something before they even try it or do you have to do the activity before you become passionate about it? Okay that makes little sense. I'll give you an example.

Elliott likes hockey. He plays technically well but without any passion (or so Scott tells me). Maybe he's just playing to make his father happy. Scott is hockey mad. He often comes home from Elliott's practices saying that Elliott's been "dogging it". I wonder if he just needs to find something he's passionate about. Scott says that if he plays often enough and tries to get better, that he'll get passionate about hockey. Does passion work that way? To me, especially now that he's 11 and knows his own mind and desires, he'll tell us what he wants to try and will really be passionate about what he chooses.

Maybe I'm just worried that he'll never find his passion. Like me.