Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I'm so annoyed right now

I just spent the last half hour deleting obnoxious comments posted to my YouTube channel all from the same loser. I know I invite these comments by posting my business in a public place and I have gotten them in the past but it's never bad enough that I felt the need to delete them. These were videos of Elliott meant mostly for family and friends and the comments were ignorant, bigoted and full of bile. A sample:

On the video I posted of Elliott's first shave:
"nigga aint even got no facial hair and he be shaving"
Classy. And grammatically... creative.

On the same video:
"Elliott is a straight up pussy"
Lovely. And that's not all but I'll spare you.

The "funny" thing about all this, is this douche-nozzle went through all my videos posting ridiculous crap like that. I deleted them all but left one:

On the video of Elliott playing bagpipes he went for me personally:
"Sold out your race for a white man nice"

Hm. I thought about tearing a strip off him, writing the most awesome comeback known to man like "when did they install WiFi in the monkey enclosure at the zoo?". But I think it would be exactly what he wanted. So I went civilised:

"Yes, it IS nice, thanks for noticing. I'm proud of myself and my family, dude. Can you say the same?"

I think it strikes a nice tone of sarcasm (which the troglodyte probably won't get) which is satisfying but doesn't rise to his assholery. I didn't even swear. But nobody better piss me off for the rest of the night. I'm spoiling for a fight.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Nothing cuts like an Enterprise pizza cutter

And I mean that. It was like trying to karate chop the thing, it was so dull, plus it was awkward to hold and I was scared to press too hard. In the end we were just tearing and hacking at it with our knives because in my short-sightedness I threw out the old cutter. Heh.

So while my geeky heart swelled with pride as I opened this wonderful Christmas gift from my sons, it looks like my shiny Star Trek treasure will be on display with the rest of my useless yet delightful nerdy possessions. I'm kind of glad of it too. I can't imagine the dejection I'd feel as I pulled a deformed lump out of the dishwasher where it had been mistakenly placed.  That machine has wrecked more things than it's cleaned. So maybe it's just better this way.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Being Canadian is so great!

I was listening to the radio the other day and they were playing a game show from the 70s. One of the contestants was the 1967 Miss Canada winner. The host asked her how it felt winning such a prestigious award and she replied:

"It felt fine!"

So self effacing. So modest. So funny. So Canadian. That answer was just so, well, US.

Oh, Canada.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Just back from taking Taz to the vet

And I realize I've become that person.

You know the one... the one who would do anything and spend any money to keep their pet alive.

When I was in college I was in class with a woman who had taken the week off school. Her dog had died after being diagnosed with cancer and had been on chemo for nearly a year. This was before I had a pet myself and my eyes were rolling back in my head so much that I probably looked like I was having a stroke. A week off school? Chemo? For a pet? Give me strength.

Now I'm faced with a cat with thyroid issues. And what does he need? Medication for the rest of his life. Thankfully he's 17 so that may not be long, but still. I ponied up the $120 for 3 months of his medication without even blinking an eye. See? That person.

That stupid furry idiot is part of this family. In fact, Audrey and Henry have never been without him. If anyone else in this house would have needed meds, I'd have done the exact same thing. So that's my lot in life. It isn't enough that I'm the indentured servant to a 5 pound ball of fuzz whose greatest accomplishment in his day is finding the perfect sleeping spot in the sunshine (usually on the stairs), I'm humiliatingly devoted to him and his wonky thyroid.

So say hello to that person. The kind of person who refers to her children as the cat's siblings, and once told her father much to his horror that "his grandkitty is sick". What do I care. He's made of fur and awesome. And a metric ton of felimazole.


Looka dat face!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

At 2:01 today I was...

Burning shows off the DVR. I'm on Revenge now. Man that show is full of soapy goodness.

Plus, looking at the photo, I also have to admire my newest lipstick. As of 2:01pm it had been on since 7 this morning... through breakfast, 2 cups of tea, snack, lunch, tons of liplicking (it's a bad habit) and a 45 minute "dip" in a saltwater pool at preschool. And I never once reapplied. So impressed and happy. It's what I've been looking for for ages. I know I sound like an ad and I don't want to be that kind of blog so to avoid it I won't tell you the brand, only that it's exclusively available online. If you really want to know what it is, message me and I'll send you the link. But seriously, that lipstick is what made me happy today. That and sitting in a shaft of sunlight, knitting and watching a great soap.


Monday, January 21, 2013

I don't have a smartphone

I wish I did but I don't. Audrey and Elliott do, Scott does, but not me. It comes from being an early adopter, I think. I was the first person in the house to get a phone and darn my tender loving care, they rarely break on me. Since 2001 (I know this because my cell service provider keeps track... yes, I'm loyal too) I've had three phones. Yes, only three. So until my phone falls apart in my hand or falls in the toilet, I'm stuck with my "dumb" phone.

Because of its limited capability, I don't love it. It has phone numbers in it and dials out and that's about it. I rarely give out the number so when it rings I freak out a little thinking it's the school calling to tell me one of the kids is lying at the bottom of a flight of stairs. For some insane reason, it's usually the blood donor clinic calling to set up an appointment. I guess they love them some O positive. My favourite thing about that shitty phone is the cool and amazingly geeky ringtone:

This makes me so happy that I never want to pick it up.

Once I forgot my cell phone at home. I know people who will go all the way back to get theirs but not me. I just don't care. Now, if I'd forgotten my iPod Touch at home, I'd do a u-turn on the highway to go get it. That thing has everything that ever meant anything to me, from baby pictures to grocery lists to the Star Trek movie. Plus my new favourite album (are they still called albums?) by Bruno Mars. "UGH!" (it's from the song).

So do you love your phone? Why or why not?


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I wish I was more musical.

I enjoy music so much and I get so much pleasure from singing (even though I'm lousy at it and would never sing in public) that I think playing an instrument would be amazing.

Right now I can pick out a simple tune on a recorder which is pretty standard for anyone of my generation. We all learned it in school, I think because it was a cheap instrument and very portable. When I was about 5, my parents signed me up for piano lessons but I found them "boring". My parents instantly pulled me out of them. Looking back now that I'm a parent myself, I suspect that the real reason they were okay with my quitting was that the lessons were too expensive. I'm sure when the teacher suggested we get a real piano so I could practice at home, that was the end of it. Remember that this was the time before cheap portable electronic keyboards.

I've always wanted to play the cello. It's an instrument that sounds like it needs a hug. And the way you play it looks like you're doing just that. When I watched Fame on tv, I always wanted to be Lori Singer. Realistically, since the cello takes years of dedication, time and the nimble fingers of youth, that's out of reach forever. I'll have to be content to live through my kids.

I'm so impressed with our public school system's music programme. In middle school, they are asked to choose an instrument and are taught to read music and play in a group. It's usually lovely. I say usually because if you've ever heard a middle school Junior Band Christmas show (which is only 3 mere months of just learning which end to pluck, bang on or blow into) , it's the bizarre feel-combo of being slowly and painfully water boarded, plus the most intense pride you've ever felt.

Audrey plays the flute and Elliott plays both the saxophone and the bagpipes. They play their instruments quite well. I'm so amazed that they are able to do this thing that I've always wanted to do myself. I often ask where they get their musicality from. Can you really inherit physical ability from the mere desire to try something? Obviously... because they have.


Friday, January 11, 2013

On the 18th I'll have been writing this blog for

Ever. Well I started in January 2006, anyway, so you do the math. Here's a link to my very first post to prove it. Ah, those were the days. The millennium had just started, gas was under $1 a litre and I was still a stay-at-home-mum. MySpace was still a thing, which was where I started this blog before I jumped ship and transferred all my posts over here. Plus I used fancy-schmancy words like "frisson" and "climes". In the same paragraph, no less (ugh). Those were the days, eh? And hang onto your Farmville stocks, people... there was no Facebook. Well it existed but no one heard of it. My, how things have changed.

For instance, I'm gearing up for an epic pharmacy trip tomorrow with my baby girl who is now 14. When did that happen? She asked me to help her start wearing makeup. How exciting is that? But change is good and everyone evolves the world keeps turning and yadda, yadda, yadda...

So stick with me for another few years. There should be a lot more interesting changes along the way. And many inane blog posts that meander and don't really go anywhere. Kinda like this one...


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

At 2:01pm today I was...

Sleeping. The stupid alarm on my iPod woke me up to take this damned picture.

Unfortunately I was trying to get over my first encounter with the flu in 45 years. I was sick, yes, but to be honest I loved staying in bed until 3:30 this afternoon. I didn't eat and I didn't brush my teeth until about 3 but  I certainly did lots of things. I listened to podcasts, pet the cat, thought about stuff (what is the point of that ugly popcorn ceiling?), read brainless magazines, listened to music and dozed off. It was freaking fantastic. Except for the hacking cough and green stuff coming out of my nose, that is.

BTW, I feel better (except for the lingering bark that I can mask with meds... I hope) and I'll be at work bright and early tomorrow. I think everyone should have a bed day like I had. Hold the flu...


Friday, January 4, 2013

Happy New Year!

I know the sentiment is a little late by now but I'm finally getting my act together in terms of schedules and blog allotment time and so forth. Okay, I'll be honest. I really haven't wanted to sit at the computer and bang one of these things out. One of my many (many) resolutions is to blog more often and more consistently so we'll see how long I keep that one up, won't we?

So I'm not going to bore you all with what we were up to during the holiday. Suffice it to say that we had a great low-key Xmas where the star present wasn't the requisite pricey pyjamas or expensive dvd box sets but the $8 Kendama (or cup and ball to the uninitiated). That thing has been used by everyone in the family including yours truly who promptly clonked herself in the nose. In fact someone still picks up that thing at least once an hour even 2 weeks after the holiday junk has been put away.

I got a wicked cough around Hanukkah that I still haven't been able to shake but the upside is that I now have abs of steel. Under the flab, that is.

We went on our annual New Year's trip, this time to Niagara Falls. It was a great trip and included a visit to a butterfly conservatory which I loved even though I'm deathly afraid of moths. Weird, I know, but butterflies aren't moths are they? And didn't I say I wasn't going to go through our whole holiday? Heh.

So I hope that 2013 is going to be a great year for all my readers. Be prepared for more blog posts from me this year and feel free to pass the link on to others if you like what you read. See you soon.