Monday, December 31, 2007

Holy crap, it’s a weekday

December 31, 2007 - Monday


This holiday has me totally turned around. Apparently, it's Monday, and yes I do a blog every weekday and this being a weekday, I need to blog. So here it is.

Umm... err... look at me blogging. It's fun. Look at me, I'm writing stuff. OMG, this is totally lame. I'll see you tomorrow. Considering this is the last blog of 2007, you'd think I'd put a bit more effort into it. Write something memorable. Something representative of the happenings of the year that has past. Something meaningful and profound. Well, to be honest, if you think about it, that's what I'm doing. Scary, isn't it? And you only had to read it. Imagine how I feel.

Love you loads, keep reading it'll only get better, I promise. Nowhere to go but up, right? See you next year! And just to let you all know, I have NO PLANS tonight. How boring have I become?


Friday, December 28, 2007

I apologise in advance

I have to be one of THOSE mums. You know the ones. Those irritating, braggy, my-child-is-the-best-smartest-greatest-child-ever mums. But don't worry, I'll try not to drag this on.

Yesterday (Henry's birthday in case you've forgotten) for the first time I went to the Civic Centre to watch Henry play nets in a tournament. Okay so he lost 4-1 but he really did make some brilliant saves. Seriously. How do I know this? Well besides all the other parents clapping me on the back saying so, he got 3rd star of the game. And from his coach he also got the construction helmet which signifies that he worked the hardest on the team. I wish I could show you my favourite save of the game. It involved him reaching back behind him to snag the loose puck which would have surely gotten tipped in but you'll have to endure these instead. I warned you I was going to do this...

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Happy 8th birthday Henry!

Henry is my "Mini-Me"

He's most like me in temperament, attitude and personality. He's got dramatic flair and he's the only one of my troupe who will most likely join his school's drama club. He's got dimples like me and a loud infectious laugh like mine. Once all the kids were playing superheroes and assigning each other super-powers. Elliott was "super-smart", Audrey was "super-girly" and Henry? "Super-loud". That's my baby.

He cracks me up, is really snuggly and despite his language learning disability, is amazingly eloquent and expressive. He has a quick smile and an easy laugh. I love this kid to distraction.

So his cake is baked, the birthday tree is decorated and everything (except for the loot bags [which are actually boxes]) is ready for the big do on Saturday afternoon. He's playing nets in hockey later today so we're all going to cheer him on then it's off to the restaurant of his choice for dinner. Most likely McDonalds. Well, he can't be like me 100%, can he?


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Well, most of it is over

I still have Audrey's godmother due over in a few hours to visit and pick up her gift, I have to take the Christmas based decorations down and replace them with birthday decorations for the birthday tree, I have to bake a birthday cake (actually 2... one for the actual day tomorrow and one for the party Saturday), go to a hockey tournament tomorrow, a 67s game Friday, visit a friend at her apartment Friday night, host the birthday party Saturday afternoon (for which I forgot to buy loot bags... sigh, I need to go shopping AGAIN), and visit my dad on the 5th-6th. Okay, so it's not even close to being over.

Give me strength.


Tuesday, December 25, 2007

So. Very. Tired.

December 25, 2007 - Tuesday

Up at 4:45am (you heard) and I can barely string two sentences together. Here's a synopsis of the day in video and photos... Nighty night. Oh, and Merry Christmas.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Aaaah, Christmas Eve

Yup, it's Christmas Eve. I've done some cleaning but not much since we're not expecting anyone. But of course since I'm a Flylady, my house isn't in CHAOS. I have some cooking to do but again, since no one is coming over, we are forgo-ing the big dinner.

In fact, this is the first year in recent memory that I've actually been tempted to make pizza for Christmas dinner. Why? Because it's the only meal my kids eat without complaining, whining or cajoling. But I just couldn't do it. So we're having turkey (one of those rolled breast thingies with the stuffing already inside) with sides of raw carrots, french fries, mac and cheese and a salad bag. Sad but true but I can't take the whining at dinner. Tonight we are having the traditional Quebec dinner of tourtiere. And we're going to church. I hope we don't go up in flames since it's been exactly 12 months since we darkened their door. I can't even call myself a lapsed Catholic. More like a holiday heathen.

Anyway, we're looking forward to tomorrow morning. If all goes to plan, Audrey will be receiving her rabbit "Monkey" in a matter of hours. This will be really memorable and I'll let you all know how it goes down. Of course I'll be doing this blog even later than today. Hey, at least you're getting one.


Friday, December 21, 2007

So if bad things happen in threes, we’re done right?

Last night Scott took Henry and Audrey to the nearby skating rink. Henry came home crying and complaining about a sore stomach (red flag #1). I thought it was because he was hungry and pretty much ignored him telling him to come and have dinner. He then pushed his dinner around his plate and didn't eat a thing (red flag #2). After supper he asked to skip dessert (red flag #3) and lay quietly on the couch in front of the tv (red flag #4, it wasn't Teletoon... he seemed oddly interested in Tracy's woes on Coronation Street). Note to self: stop ignoring your children.

About a half hour later he bolts up on the couch and says "My tummy still..." and projectile vomits around my living room. Thank goodness there are no carpets and we have a leather couch. The smell would never leave. Now here's where things get gross. I mean grosser. Is that even a word? Anyway, my first thought is "GET TO THE BATHROOM!" Bad idea because unfortunately the vomiting still continued as I escorted my puking baby to the toilet. Can I get a "woot!" for the inventor of slippers? Afterwards, I surveyed the damage. Vomit pooled on the couch, splashed on the hallway floor on the way to the toilet, on the bathroom door (the door?), on every little carpet in the bathroom floor and in and around the toilet itself. Good times. And of course the nasty smell of upchuck all over the house.

Scott helped with the cleaning and the livingroom floor got yet another mopping after the 2 Christmas tree incidents. Everything looks and smells back to normal. We even were able to wash Wayne who got a lot of the err... fallout from the first onslaught. Oh, and Henry's fine. He just had indigestion, not a bug.

So counting the 2 disasters with the tree as separate events and the puke fountain as the third, we're quits right? No more disasters before Christmas. Please? I'm so tired.


Thursday, December 20, 2007

It’s deja vu all over again

The tree fell over again. Fully decorated and lit AGAIN. The only difference was that Scott was home this time. Oh, and there were a few gifts to get soaked by the glug-glugging Christmas tree water. I'm completely traumatised by the big stupid thing. I was only going to put plastic decorations back on but Scott, clever man that he is, anchored the sucker to the windowsill. Elliott amusingly mused that the tree could possibly fall through the picture window but it was only a little funny. I don't want to talk about it anymore.


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I went to my secret best friend’s movie

Okay, you all know my obsession with Will Smith. To quickly refresh, I adore Will. Not in a sexual way at all but I know with all my heart that if he ever met me we'd hit it off and be fast friends. He and Jada and the kids would come over for BBQ and hot wings and we'd talk and laugh and I'd bring out a cake I made for the occasion. They'd love it and... where was I?

Oh yeah. I Am Legend. Awesome awesome movie. Will carries the whole thing by himself for the bulk of it. And he was wonderful to watch. Now, the zombies scared me so much that it actually wrecked the movie a bit for me but otherwise it was a "see this in the theatre" movie. I laughed, I cried, it had a good beat and I could dance to it. Even Scott liked it and he's picky. He likes nothing unless it's about a British/Canadian perspective of a true story of World War 2. So go see Uncle Will's movie. Did I mention I make my kids call him "Uncle Will"? Because that's how far gone I am.


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Name of the game this week?


Scott and I somehow managed to both get this week off. When we did, we called it "date week" and immediately started thinking of fun, single-style things we could do while the kids are at school. We could go to movies, Christmas shop, bake (okay, that was my suggestion), go to the hobby shop (that was his), sleep in (this includes some afternoon delight), and generally enjoy ourselves as if we had no kids for 6 hours.

Well, you know that old saying "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans"? Well that applies this week. And it's only Tuesday. Yesterday the kids were off school because of the snow cleanup from Sunday. So there went the shopping and the movies. Not a problem. We have the rest of the week, right? And at least we got to sleep in.

This morning they're back at school. Oops, I realize I can't sleep in because I have to get them ready. Kibosh on that. Then, during my morning ablutions, I notice that Aunt Flo has come over for an early and most certainly unwelcome visit. Kibosh. There goes the afternoon delight portion of the programme. And before you mention that we could still go on, let me remind you that we've been together for going on 20 years and that's just a big yuck on both our parts. Literally and figuratively. Sigh. At least we can still go to the movies and Christmas shopping.

And didn't I just now have to get up from the computer to check on the heaving cat? Yup, I did. Culprit? Christmas tree tinsel. I'm sensing a vet sized kibosh in out future.


Monday, December 17, 2007

Snow Day (part deux)

So yesterday we got an enormous dump of snow. Thirty-seven centimetres. They say it's the biggest one day total on yesterday's date in 60 years. All I know is that the kids being home have put the kibosh on Scott and my "date week". You already know, as usual, it's all about me. 'S'okay, though. We can still have a ball as a family playing in the newly fallen snow. I actually like it right now since it's all clean and fresh and not too cold out. Hey, it's Canada. Minus 15 is not that cold. Especially with the sun blazing like it is.

It's just past 10am and the kids have been playing outside for almost 30 minutes. Scott's out there too snowblowing the laneway so I better make an appearance soon. I'll just put my snowsuit on over my jammies stick my bare feet in my ugly skidoo boots and I'll be ready to go. Seriously. That's just the way I roll.


Friday, December 14, 2007

After the excitement of yesterday I’m happy to say

that I have nothing interesting to say.

I did get the tree back up and decorated. It looks nicer than it did before. Even that angel that shattered was able to get fixed. She looks a bit like a Dr. Frankenstein experiment but at least she's got a story to tell.

Getting ready for Christmas is tough what with cards and packages to send out, shopping, decorating (redecorating), etc so I've been de-stressing with Christmas music. My favourite one this year? Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and the sadly missed Kirsty MacColl. An oldie but a goodie. What's your favourite tune this year?


Thursday, December 13, 2007

If a tree falls in the livingroom does anybody hear?

Short answer: Yes.

Back story: Our fully decorated Christmas tree fell over last night.

And just to prove that I actually did hear the procedings, here is a "sound synopsis".

Creeeeak, swish: The sounds of the timbering tree falling toward me as I innocently knitted (yes, I said "knitted") on the couch.

Crash, tinkle, tinkle: The sounds of the decorations hitting the hardwood floor. We lost several generic glass balls and a favourite angel in the ensuing carnage.

Glug, Glug, glugglugglug...: About 4 litres of Christmas tree water leaving the security of it's container and running all over the hardwood floor.

"Mommy, I'm scared!!!": This from Audrey and screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Is this the worst Christmas ever?": This from Henry.

"Cool!": This from Elliott.

"$%^&*%!!!!!": This from me.

"Karen, come see this! Errr... how fast did you get the water up off the floor?": This from Scott upon coming home from work, hearing the full recount of the story and assessing the damage to the downstairs playroom ceiling and couch as the Christmas tree water made it's inexorable way downstairs slowly dripping though onto the furniture.

So thus ended the "real Christmas tree experiment". It's the first one we've had since before the kids were born. And will probably be the last. It's still naked in the centre of the room. I'm afraid to redecorate it. As usual good times abound in the Kaye household...


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Stop me oh-ho-ho stop me

Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before...

I feel like I've just posted about this subject but maybe it was just me gassing about it live in person to my workmates (yes, I have them). Whatever. If I've mentioned this before, please ignore this blog.

I'd like to discuss cold medicine ads. You know the ones... A sick person takes some kind of miracle drug that allows them to continue working or school or skydiving or some such nonsense. Ummm whatever happened to taking a sick day? Are we that indispensible that we can't take 24 hours off from our lives? And if you can't, do you really want to sicken everyone around you by spreading whatever goopy germ that's making you ill?

I'll never forget the commercial with a guy doing his groceries pushing a cart. He lets out an almighty sneeze, covering his mouth with his hand like a good boy then continues to push the cart. He later opens the freezer to get something. A mother and daughter come along and the daughter pushes sneeze-guy's cart out of the way and blammo. Nasty germy transfer. Just to let you all know, the new way of blocking your gross sneeze is with the inside your elbow for exactly that reason. Yuck.

There's an ad I've been liking lately for Benylin. It's got a woman trying to get ready for work but she's sick. She takes the drug then (shock of shocks) also takes the day off. I love the very end of the ad where they show her looking better (having taken her Benylin) but in her bed at home, reading a book with her dog snuggled beside her. Now that's the way to be sick. Take a hint people. The world will continue turning without you.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Good morning beautiful people!

Feeling ebullient this morning. I don't want to wreck the feeling by thinking too much so I won't. I just want to mention that every morning I have to beg, plead and cajole the family out of bed. Everyone except for Elliott, that is. That kid gets out of bed the minute he hears his alarm and starts to get ready before even I'm up. Scott I have to kick for 20 minutes (waking myself up in the process I may add) and Audrey and Henry I have to drag to the floor by any body part I spy poking out of the covers.

Elliott just makes my life easy. Hey, that could be his slogan.


Monday, December 10, 2007

Grocery follies

One of my favourite comic strips played out this weekend. There's this Betty comic that I have on my fridge. It's old but it cracks me up every time. Why? I live it that's why.

Scott took the grocery list I keep magnetised to the fridge. Why? He wanted to do me a favour, that's why. When he came home I thanked him, put them away, I kissed him and did all the groceries again later. Why? Because everything he got was wrong, that's why.

See, when I put "meat" on the list, I mean "500g lean ground beef" not steak. When I put "cheese" on the list I mean the "family sized old cheddar", not havarti. Same goes for "flour". I mean "10k all purpose" not self rising. Ditto milk. Who drinks homo, anyway? I know what I mean when I'm vague. He's clueless, poor lamb.

We've been together long enough for me to clam up and say "thanks sweetie" rather than start a whole big thing about it. After all, he was trying to help, the poor dear. And at this time of the year more than any, it's the thought that counts. Right?


Friday, December 7, 2007

PD Day

Let's see... it's 12:20pm and I've already had two parent/teacher meetings at 2 different schools, done a load of dishes, been to the public library (closed), took Audrey and picked her up from a playdate and watched 2 epidodes of the Jeffersons, one of All In The Family and one of Sanford and Son. Whew.

In about 10 minutes I'm taking the gang to see the movie Enchanted and when it's over I'm going to fix Audrey's high maintance hair (about 1.5 hours). By then I should be ready to make dinner then go to bed. What a day.

So how's your Friday going?


Thursday, December 6, 2007

Uh Oh

I have to start writing down blog ideas because I hate not having anything to write. Like now. Today I have nothing for you. Less than nothing. Because the only thing pressing in my life right now is the fact that I bit the inside of my lip a few days ago. It swelled up a bit and now every time I eat I bite it again. I hate that. See? Less than nothing.

Oh, and I sweet talked Scott into getting a rabbit for Audrey despite his allergies. The pros far outweighed the cons. At least in my mind. Think of her face on Christmas morning when she sees it under the tree. I'm beside myself with glee.

Happy Thursday!


Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The List

I saw a really great show the other day called The List. Bonus points that it's on Canadian tv so maybe I'll write in.

You know how it's all the rage now to make a list of things to do before you die? There's even books about it. Anyway, you send this show your list and they help you do a few things on it. How fun is that? And it really makes me think. Which is a bonus because usually most shows make me think: "Is Nathan Petrelli really dead?" or "When the hell are Greenlee and Zach going to get out ouf the abandonned bomb shelter?". This one made me think: "What do I want to accomplish before I shuffle off this mortal coil?"

On the show the tasks ranged from the sublime (a woman designed her own Ben & Jerry's flavour) to the ridiculous (a ride through suburban Toronto on an elephant). So what would be on my list?

*Own Christian Louboutin shoes
*Travel with my kids yearly
*Live in a foreign country (for about a year but coming back to Canada when we're done)
*Have an ensuite bathroom and a walk-in closet

I just noticed all these things are money related. A big lottery win should take care of all of it. So what would I do? What would a tv show help me with? Skydive? Nah. Drive a Zamboni? That's someone else's dream (you know who you are). I know: learn how to drive a stick. Oh my God, that's so boring. Ooh, I've got it! Acting. I'd love to get a "funny best friend" part in a movie. Not the main part... too much pressure. The best friend is always the most memorable part anyway and could be the breakout role. I'd love the attention something like that would bring. And the money. Enough for a certain pair of shoes. And I could use some of the acting training in my background that's been sorely underused as a wife and mother.

So what about you? What's your dream?


Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I love this video!

I just found this one and I figure I'm due after the video extravaganza of a few weeks ago. Will Ferrell is in it and I swear that man could crack me up reading out of a Chinese food menu.



Monday, December 3, 2007


Because of the prediction of 5cms of snow per hour, the kids' school buses are cancelled and it's a snow day. For them. I have to get ready for work. Which means I can't regale you with the amazing and hilarious story of the weekend.
The one where Henry caught Scott and me in flagrante delicto. Poor kid was rubbing his eyes, worriedly asking if I was okay. There's no blog fodder better than a childhood scarring event, is there? And what's a mother but a great subject to talk about to your psychiatrist? Really, I just helped Henry, didn't I?

See you tomorrow.