Thursday, March 11, 2010

And to think I nearly didn't go...

So last week I grocery shopped and ran errands for hours and hours and I was finally done. I wanted to buy a pack of undies but I was so tired just I wanted to go home. I hemmed and hawed about going and I finally decided to get it over with. I headed to Zellers, picked them up and headed to the checkout. I got behind a lady that took out a pile of envelopes chitchatting about something or other with the cashier. Great. I just wanted to get out of there. I searched around for another line and heard the cashier call out to a man nearby, "I can help you over here, sir!"

Yay! I followed the voice and got into the line behind the guy. I looked up. And up. The "gentleman" in front of me was massive. At least 6'5, 350lbs. But let me tell you about his getup. And, trust me, "getup" is the only word to describe what this "man" was wearing.

  • tattered Superman t-shirt
  • army boots
  • leather kilt
  • floor length red velvet hooded cape (straight out of Red Riding Hood)
Now picture the man himself. He was big but in no way scary. He looked like one of those dorky man-boys who spend what little time away from his mother's basement revelling in a live Lord Of The Rings role-playing game in the forest. Large, overweight, weird scruffy beard, ponytail... hey! I just realized I'm describing the Simpson's Comicbook Guy (did you know his name is Jeff Albertson? You'll thank me when you win that radio trivia question). Oh, I almost forgot. He was buying a large Nerf sword. I kid you not.

The lady behind me shamelessly started to giggle. She had balls, this one. She asked him what he was doing and he replied "I always dress like this. These are my normal clothes." Er, yeah. The lady started to howl with laughter.

When he bought his sword and left (did I forget to mention he was buying a Nerf sword?), the cashier and I locked eyes then we both started to laugh along with the lady behind me who had never stopped. We agreed that it takes all kinds to make a world then went about our respective days.

But to think; if I had decided to keep wearing ratty undies, I would have never had a blog for today.

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