Monday, June 5, 2006

Tomorrow’s forecast: Sunny with a chance of fiery death.

Anyone else irritated by all the talk of death and destruction tomorrow 06/06/06? Look, I'm as conveniently religious as the next gal but nothing big is going to happen tomorrow. I promise. Unless one of those "self fulfilling prophesy" thingies happen and you bring it on by freaking yourself out.

I don't consider myself superstitious but I do believe in not taking a chance when the superstitious route is so simple. Here are a list of things I do. NOT because I believe in this stuff but because I simply don't want to push my luck. At least that's what I tell myself:

-I hold my breath passing a cemetery (bad luck not to)
-I lift my feet up when driving over train tracks (devil goes into you through your feet)
-I never put my purse on the floor (the money drains out)
-I never put shoes on a table (bad luck for the shoe owner but also common sense)
-I don't open umbrellas indoors (just a generally stupid idea)
-I toss salt over my left shoulder when I spill it (the devil peeks from behind and the salt blinds him)
-I knock on wood whenever I say stupid things like "I never get sick" (Hee. I just knocked)
-I get delighted when I have an itchy palm (because money is coming my way)

I never worry about Friday the 13th. I have no qualms about walking under ladders. Walking around construction zones (ie: city streets) in downtown Montreal will cure you of that real quick. Don't care about broken mirrors, black cats or lucky pennies on the ground. I mean really. A penny? I'm not bending my big Black butt down for anything less than a loonie. And squashing spiders making it rain? Please. It'd be a monsoon around here. I've been mashing them into dust at a rate of about 3 per day for the last week. My house is crawling with the nasty things.

So back to tomorrow. To be honest the only thing I would do to protect myself (and the world) is reschedule a planned induction or c-section. Who wants a baby born on a freaky day? But what can you do if he/she/IT comes naturally on that day? You deal, that's what. Aside from that, if you want to take a day off and stay under the covers tomorrow, do it but don't blame poor misunderstood 6/6/6. Supposedly it's going to be hot as hell. What am I doing? I'm tempted to check out The Omen. Talk about tempting fate.

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