Wednesday, July 28, 2010

You know what drives me nuts?

Products that invent a problem so that their "new and improved" product can solve it. It may be a valid issue but it's usually so inconsequential that it doesn't impact any part of your life.

Here are my current 3 irritants...

Pre/pro-biotic yoghurt. Really? You mean I went 42 years without belly dancing after eating curdled milk? How did I survive so long? How am I not doubled over with explosive gas and riddled with anal polyps?

I just saw a Listerine commercial that claimed that their newest formulation combats some new kind of magical plaque (with some scary made-up technical name) that can't be brushed away. What? Are you kidding me? So if I brush and floss like my dentist has told me to do all my life, I could still get attacked by the anthrax of plaque? If I was a gullible sap, I'd be hiding under the bed.

The Bounce Bar. The ad tells me that it's a colossal pain to remember to put a fabric softener sheet in the dryer. You know, you're right. Reaching up and to the right to pluck a sheet out of the box and tossing it into the open dryer is hard. Seriously people? The only inconvenience I can see with the old system is if you keep your Bounce box upstairs in the vegetable crisper of the refrigerator or you buy it a sheet at a time from the corner store.

I hate when ads treat me like a drooling moron. I've got a mind, I can think, I can even put two and two together. It's called critical thinking, guys. Stop trying to make me buy your stupid, useless products.


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