My poor boss

She wears a hearing aid and she's recently discovered she has a double ear infection (that means one in both ears for those of you without kids). So she's, for all intents and purposes, deaf. Ordinarily this would be a sad situation and it is for her but we still laughed our asses off all day.

Have you ever spoken to a mostly deaf person? I'm actually pretty fluent in sign language (bet you didn't know that about me) but she isn't so we were pretty much just yelling at her all day. Then she learned that she could hear okay when she got a phone call so by the end of the day we were calling her to ask questions. When we were 5 feet away from her. Too funny. She's a talker too but when she asked a question she couldn't hear our answer. She'd just look at you blankly with a slack grin on her face.

You can tell my co-worker and I like her because we didn't take the opportunity to talk behind her back. Much. We did say things like "this must be hard for her" and "she smells really bad" (that last one was me) but what was weird was that she was arms' length away and we were speaking in regular tones. Strange.

Anyway, I still love that job more than anything. I'm having more fun and more laughs than any job I've ever had.

kxx

Pot-AY-to, pot-AAH-to

Scott and I have a debate a few times a week. It's about decals. I know, there are other more pressing things to debate like Karlheinz Schreiber and paper versus plastic but our continuing debate concerns the little plastic prints. Hey, we aren't deep.

I say the word is pronounced "DEE-kal", he says it's "dekkle". The whole time I lived in Montréal, I heard it (if I heard it... face it, it's not a word you hear often) like dee-cal. Since I moved here, I would say I've heard it 50/50 dee-cal/dekkle. And now that Scott makes plastic models he says it all the time and I swear it's like nails on a blackboard. To top it off, I heard a radio newscaster say dekkle this morning, chipping away at my smug staisfaction at being absolutely right.

So my question to you is this. How do YOU pronounce decal? I know most of you don't reply to this blog but lots of you read it. I know, I get about 40 hits a day. So if even half of you would kindly reply to this blog with your honest reply, I can show this to Scott with a definitive answer. And a nyah-nyah tongue.

So what do you say? Dee-cal or dekkle? Feel free to cut and paste and not write anything else but the pronounciation you use. I'll start you off...

kxx

THE PHOTO IN THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!

You've been warned.

My cat loves me. A lot. How do I know? He brings me pressies. Taz has no front claws so the fact that he still takes care to disembowel my presents is an added bonus. That's quality work. I spent 10 minutes girding my loins before I took this picture. Then I had to get rid of the body. Brrr. But it's hard to be mad at my mouse murderer when deep down (past the vomit coming up) I know he's just trying to be thoughtful. Although the thought that a critter that sleeps on my pillow, talks to me, comes when I call him and nuzzles me on the couch, purring so loud I can barely hear the tv, can do this to another living thing chills me to the bone.

kxx

Cookies!

My friend Norah is hosting a cookie exchange Saturday. What is a cookie exchange you ask? Well, it's an adult playdate where all the guests are asked to bring is a dozen cookies. For each guest. And a dozen to share during a party. sound manageable? It can be. If you don't invite too many people. I've had them in the past with about 6 guests but Norah has 10 people coming on Saturday. That means 11 dozen cookies. The good news is that I go home with 10 dozen cookies of all shapes and flavours. And of course, being to lazy so-and-so I am, found a recipe (for ginger crackles) that makes a ton anyway and doubled it (thank you Terra) so I was able to make 11 dozen cookies in one go. Easy and yummy and Christmassy too. What? You want the recipe? My pleasure.

kxx

Aaaah Monday

As many of my old familiar readers know, Monday is my favourite day of the week. Things go back to normal, schedules resume their daily grind, I eat well Monday through Friday... bliss. I know it's weird but never let it be said that I'm a normal person. They're called quirks, people. All the brilliant ones have them.

Speaking of quirks, my weekend was pretty good. Except for that unfortunate electric slide related accident where I fell backwards into my tub. My advice? Never do the electric slide in your bathoom.

Saturday was awesome. Audrey and I stayed in our jammies all day and had a High School Musical marathon. Both were pop-up editions and as usual, I love them as much as when I'd seen them the first time. I can't get enough of these movies. I must have seen them 5 times each. I also taped them both so I can watch them again anytime. I mean so we can watch them anytime. I even recently (and dorkily) changed my cellphone ringtone to "We're All In This Together". I'm concerned about myself. These movies are geared toward tweens. What does it mean that I adore these movies so much? Do I have a Peter Pan complex? Am I just a creepy old cougar eager to get into Zac Efron's underaged gymshorts? I don't know. Am I just crazy? Will I be first in line when HSM3 comes out in theatres? Bet on it.

kxx

Grr... I have to brush off my car

It's got about 8cms (figure it out yourselves) of snow on it and probably ice under that. It's my least favourite winter job. And that's saying a LOT. Every winter job sucks. Anyway, it's put me in a pissy mood in case you haven't guessed already.

kxx

Blogging? Today?

Yup. Even though I don't particularly feel like it, I'm gonna.

So today is American Thanksgiving. So enjoy your turkey and your football. I'll be watching reruns thanks to my slavish dependence on your television programming. And just for the record, the Kaye's are having pizza for dinner tonight. I have to admit that I hate your sweet potato dish with the marshmallows on top. Sorry, but that's just vile. Hey, but if you like it, don't let my opinion put you off your feed.

We're in the midst of getting a huge dumping of snow. 10-15cm. Which because of American Thanksgiving I will now translate for my American readers into "old money": 4 to 6 inches. Give or take.

Okay, I'm only going through the motions here so I'll end this before it becomes pathetic. (That's what she said... Thank you Michael Scott). Have a great holiday if that's what your having. Have a great Thursday if that's what your having and drive safely if snow is what you're having. See you tomorrow.

kxx

Snow!

The kids all woke up early this morning running from room to room gabbling about the snow on the ground. I wanted to hide under the covers. It has begun. Yes it's pretty now, but by 4pm when it's pitch dark and the snow is all dirty and slushy, it'll be the start of a long, dark depressing season. Oh joy.

And to add to the joyous fun, today's the day I have to break up with little Kevin. Yup, me and my personal trainer have to part ways. I knew it had to come when he skilfully mentioned his hourly rate. It's hold onto your hats.... $50. Every hour. Just to put things into perspective, I make $40 PER DAY. Not to mention a little thing called Christmas as well as Henry's birthday, saving for a trip to Dominca next year, hockey, horseback riding lessons... oy. We just can't afford him. Maybe in the spring after I've had a few months to squirrel away some more secret money. I hate being moderately poor.

And now that it's frigging snowing, Elliott needs winter boots. It just never ends. I'm buying a lottery ticket.

kxx

How can you tell the difference between an American and a Canadian?

No, it's not a joke. Those of you that know me know I can't tell a joke. At all. Which is strange because I'm often considered funny. How does that work?

Anyway, back to the original point. How can you tell the difference between an American and a Canadian? Besides the obvious foreign knowlege stuff (I knew I was going to get in trouble with this one), just talk to them. Most Canadians have a distinctive accent. It isn't the "oot and aboot" thing, either. I've been in this country all my life and I've never ever heard any one of us pronounce "out and about" that way. It's usually someone from another country making fun of us. Dummies.

No, ask a Canadian to say "sorry" (which supposedly due to our world famous politeness we say several times a day). We pronounce it SORE-y while in almost every American show I've ever seen they pronounce it SAW-ry. It's subtle but it's there. I've never noticed it before but there it is. Take it however you will.

kxx

Wagga who-what-now?

Elliott is so smart. To me anyway. He actually could be just as smart as every other 11 year old out there but compared to me, he's really got brains. He definitely got that from his dad.

Anyway, yesterday we were watching the Amazing Race. It's one of our favourite shows. One that gets a 30 minute bedtime pass. So we were watching and the travellers had to go to Ouagadougou having no information other than the name of the place. They had to get there not knowing where it was. Elliott was in the bathroom at this time and came in as the contestants were all struggling through the name. He asked me where they were going and I told him. This is what my smart child said to me: "Cool. Burkina Faso. West Africa, right?" Not wanting to look like a fool I was all... "errr, yeah" and had to wait for Phil to elaborate. I did know it was in Africa but West Africa? No way. My son is smarter than me. Well, it was bound to happen.

kxx

Please do not poke the sleeping bear

Scott has been in the worst mood the last few days. It's not the family, it's work. Something about a takeover bid and he's worried about his guys. The problem is that he's middle management. The higher-ups blame him for things that happen with his guys and his guys blame him when the higher-ups drag their feet about things. He's totally stressed.

He usually does well handling things and not bringing home his stress but the last 2 days with him have been, well, sucky. He comes home, grunts hello, finds fault with something that he yells about then hides downstairs in his office until bedtime. Yesterday he made Elliott cry. Elliott. I haven't seen him cry since he was hit in the nose with a hockey stick. Supposedly Scott thought the basement playroom was messy and instead of asking the kids to tidy up, he started throwing things in a bin, threatening to throw them out. He even yelled at me for watching too much tv and blogging too much. Funny, that part. I usually only blog when he's at work and yesterday I was actually doing a typing tutorial to help me with my work. You know, the job I have? The one that makes a bit of cash?

Anyway, seeing the error of his ways, he skulked into his office and stayed there until after the kids and I had gone to bed. This morning he was up at 5am. Obviously his guilty conscience wouldn't let him sleep. Good. I love that man but he's sure making it difficult to feel it lately. I guess even my perfect guy can be a tool.

kxx

What’s in your purse?

Okay. If you're a guy, you don't have one but we girls have lots of interesting things in our handbags. Things you couldn't even imagine. Well, some people do. My bag is boring. I actually clean it out everyday. But the things I put back would shock and amaze you. Alright, maybe it wouldn't. But I'm trying to be interesting, here.

1 pair of sunglasses
2 packs of Extra gum
1 pack of travel kleenex
My wallet
My mp3 and earbuds
Hand lotion
15 assorted giftcards and laminated reward cards tied together with a rubber band (what's up with those?)
12 family photos in one of those plastic thingies
face creme
lipstick
mirror
pen
cell phone (with my new Simpson's theme ringtone... by Green Day)
dental floss
Otrivin (I hate when my nose is stuffed)
Benedryl (for the kids... just in case)
Asthma inhaler (again for the kids, just in case)
My lunch consisting of: an apple, water, V8, a baggie full of cucumber slices, a cereal bar, rice cakes... ugh. thanks Kevin.

Wow. That's a big bag. That was illuminating, wasn't it? I wonder what my purse says about me. Maybe that I'm a self-involved, orally fixated hypocondriac. Which you already knew if you're read my musings for over a week. I'm interested in what people carry around. What they can't do without. What's in your purse?

kxx

35% fat??!!

What do whipping creme, butter, 1/2 cup almonds, a slice of apple pie and me have in common? Give up? We're all comprised of 35% fat. I'm so grossed out.

As part of joining Goodlife, I have access to a personal trainer. Well, that "perk" was both good and bad news to me yesterday as I got weighed (163lbs) and measured and found wanting. Wanting to be less of a giant meringue. So now I have a goal (he wants me down to 155) and 30% fat. He says it's do-able. I say, pass me a bag of Doritos.

There was a good moment. Before I met Kevin (my (really!) young trainer) I heard two guys talking while I was pretending to read a magazine. One was apologising to the other saying sorry he was late. The other guy told him his 3 o'clock was here (me!) and the first guy (who turned out to be Kevin) said "Who? The one that's built like Marion Jones?" and the other guy replied "Yeah, she's gonna kick your ass, dude". I had to laugh. I'm going to dine on that one for weeks. But totally control my portions.

kxx

Hi!

Feeling fine since everything's back to normal. Elliott's at school, Scott's at work, Audrey's having breakfast Henry's getting ready for school and I'm blogging. In the morning. All's right with the world.

And now that the universe is back in alignment, I have nothing of value to say. Isn't it always the case? It's just like when you see someone familiar in the street and you rack your brains trying to remember their name and you wake up in a cold sweat that night because you remembered the name at a most inappropriate hour. Now that I have your attention, I have nothing for you. Sorry.

Last night I went to a pub with my friend Paula. She was hosting a birthday party for her friend BL. At that party I was taught the concept of "Lesbian Time". Too funny. It's a little like dog years. See, if 2 girls are dating and after about a month a uhaul rolls up to one of the girls' apartment with the other girl's stuff, ready to move in, it's totally on the up-and-up. To us breeders it would be moving waaay to fast but to lesbians it's totally normal. From what I gathered. Anyway, we were having a big old laugh about it last night inserting different scenarios but I guess you had to be there.

So that's all I've got for you today. Nothing too grand. Have a terrific day and I'll jump start the old brain so we don't have to do this again. For another few weeks, anyway...

kxx

Didja miss me?

I knew this would happen as Scott was home for Remembrance Day and I didn't want to blog in front of him. So here I am blogging after work. Good thing too since it gave me some fodder for the day.

I was asking a co-worker why we were working today. She replied that since yesterday was Remembrance Day, today is nothing, hence the workage. Never mind that buses are on Sunday schedules, there's no mail or garbage and all government workers have the day off because a stat day fell on a weekend. Whatev'.

So instead of honouring our troops with quiet reflection and dignity, most folks are taking advantage by shopping up a storm. Our store was crazy busy today. Nothing says "I love our troops" like consignment priced snowsuits. Because if we don't buy discount children's clothes, the terrorists win.

kxx

RIP Betty

Audrey's fish died yesterday. Betty lived a long life for a betta in a filter-free tank. Nine months. To put it in perspective, Henry went through 2 fish and a crab in the same length of time. The man himself noticed the fish formerly known as Betty first and tactfully broke it to Audrey. "Your fish is DEAD!", he said not at all in soft, sympathetic tones. I wanted to laugh, I really did, but the keening wails of my only daughter kept the giggles at bay. My poor little girl. She kept saying things like "she's the best friend I ever had," and "I miss her so much, mummy". It broke my heart.

Then the inevitable rally at the backyard funeral. "When can I get another one?", she asked as she threw a clump of dirt off the shovel into the hole where her best friend was interred. Kids really bounce back quickly, don't they?

kxx

Sometimes I wonder about the internet

I read Perez Hilton quite often and a couple of days ago I saw the nastiest thing I think I've ever seen in my entire life. I think I'm scarred forever. Seriously. There's no other way to describe this but "GAAAA". Maybe "UUGGGHHHH".

I won't describe what happens only that it's absolutely disgusting. Foul, even. What's the internet coming to? Yes, it's full of vile, crazy stuff and as users of it we are well aware of it. But come on. The people connected with making this were paid, and have normal(ish) lives, don't they? They have family that would watch this, wouldn't they? The website even has videos of the reactions of people watching this video and honestly I'm glad I saw that first. At least I knew what to expect. Kind of.

If you find it, don't watch it at work, don't watch it with kids... you know what? Don't watch it. You can't unsee what's been seen. My eyes...

kxx

God is punishing me

November 7, 2007 - Wednesday

For the sin of pride. See I was so proud to never have dealt with pinkeye before yesterday that He's giving me another dose to deal with. I have no words.


And here's the picture Audrey made, edited to add her brother. Please, God, have mercy on my and don't let Henry get it. Sigh.

"My eye has a runny nose"

This is what Audrey said to me last night. Why? She had (and has) pinkeye. After laughing my butt off at her colourful statement, I realize we've never dealt with it before in this house so I'm not sure if she has to lie down or anything. Lying down I can deal with. This waking up early and looking at her crusty eye boogers, prying her goopy lids open to put in eyedrops, her being healthy enough physically to bop around the kitchen asking to bake cookies with me (uck... chocolate chip cookies laced with conjunctivitis anyone?) and me having to take the day off work for the priviledge is not my idea of fun. As I said, lying down and actually being sick I can deal with. This? Not so much.

kxx

Can I get a "Woot"?

There is no more Halloween candy at my house today.

I instituted a new rule here at the Kaye household after Halloween. After previous years of hiding the candy and doling it out 3 pieces at a time after lunch and dinner and having to deal with the "can I have some candy?" question 72 times a day (times 3), things had to change. This year we had a new all-the-candy-you-can-eat-and-stop-asking-me-permission rule. Believe it or not it worked like a charm.

There were a scant few rules: No candy before noon or between 5 and 6pm. And no candy from 7:30 until bed. That's it. Still, my halloweenies devoured the candy in record time and as of yesterday afternoon I don't have to worry about finding new and devious hiding places or putting Halloween candy in Christmas stockings. I also don't have to worry about eating the junk myself and falling into a food induced shame spiral. I'm free!

kxx

Look what I did!

Okay, it was my first time working with fondant yesterday. I think I rolled it a little thick (I know I did for the hearts) but it came out pretty nice. The cake itself is 3 layer buttermilk tinted pink with blueberry filling. I hope it tastes alright. That's the problem with these things... I won't know how it tastes until the party on Saturday in front of all the guests. I knew I shouldn't have had my salt and sugar containers looking so disturbingly similar.

kxx

Aaaahhhh...

I'm blissfully alone in my own home. Seriously, this is my idea of heaven. I just took 3 layers of cake out of the oven and I'm listening to the radio. To 2 radios actually. There's one on in the kitchen and one on in the livingroom. Same station of course. I'm not schizophrenic. Entirely.

I have a dentist appontment at 11:20. YAY. Instead of going to work for an hour before and an hour after, I decided to take the opportunity to bake a cake I have to bring to a party on Saturday.

This is the most ambitious thing I've ever created. It'll be 3 layers of white cake with blueberry jam filling and fondant icing decorated with coloured fondant hearts around it. If I screw this one up, I've got time to buy a generic icecream cake and pass it off as my own. I so don't want to screw it up, though. I'm most worried about the fondant. I've never used it before and it can be fussy. Which is why I'm doing it today. No distractions. Wish me luck. You know I'll be taking a photo of it good or bad so look forward to that before the weekend.

kxx