Clay Aiken is my new boyfriend

Okay, not really but apparently that's what my traitorous brain decided the night before last. I dreamt that Clay and I were smitten with each other. Quite a feat since I'm happily married and he's quite obviously gay. I think he's the only one who doesn't know it yet. To coin a phrase, "not that there's anything wrong with that".

Before the other night, Clay never once crossed my mind other than as a pop culture footnote. I didn't watch his season of American Idol, I'm not interested in his kind of music and always thought he looked like a squinty rodent. Maybe some variety of vole. I swear I never ever gave him a second thought. He's never even occupied more than a stray thought in my mind other than how much I hate his hair. But nevertheless, last night he was my boyfriend. Brains are weird.

I was walking through an arena where he was setting up for a concert and saw him standing nearby. Don't ask why I was there, it was a dream, dammit. As a pop culture vulture, I went over, tapped him on the shoulder and told him I just wanted to say hi. This is the only thing in the dream I actually would have done in real life. Except for being at Clay's concert venue in the first place but we've been over that.

Anyway, as soon as we saw each other we clasped hands and walked around together, talking, laughing and gazing into each others' eyes. Those tiny, rodentine eyes. BRRRR...

At one point I jumped on his back and he gave me a piggyback ride through the arena. That's when I spied my neighbour Norah dozing sitting up in a chair, wearing her trademark blue coat and earflap hat. Why she's wearing winter wear indoors is a question only Freud could answer. I wake her up and introduce her to my new boyfriend and she's shocked but trying not to show it. The 3 of us walk around together, Norah all the while making wild gestures to me behind Clay's back trying to figure out what the eff is going on. Damned if I knew, sleeping or awake.

I finally woke up all confused. Where did all that come from? Why gay Clay? Why the piggyback? Why Norah? In clothes that we haven't even had to wear outside yet due to the mild winter we're having? And did you notice we never kissed. If we did I think it would have been classified as a nightmare.

At least it was an interesting dream. Much more so than running around looking for my keys like I usually dream. I really need analysis.

kxx(Oh, and Chris, I have a gorgeous little mp3 on the other side of that Future Shop receipt. An mp3 that can't be used with the Windows2000 OS I have on my computer. But that's a whole 'nother blog full of bitterness and bile. I'll wait until I'm PMSing for that one)