I don't like Halloween and it's my parents' fault

I try to get into it but I hate decorating. I think it's a waste of money. I also hate the idea of kids going door to door and (usually impolitely) demanding candy. Some don't even say "trick or treat" they just hold up their greedy little bags. And don't get me started on when those 14 year olds ring the bell after 9pm wearing half-assed costumes and looking all menacing. And I don't mean the costumes.

This is all my parents' doing. My West Indian dad was dead set (no pun intended) against the "begging" aspect of Halloween. Not to mention his ultra Roman Catholic wrong-thinking that the whole day was about the devil and evil. So we'd hide in the darkened basement and wait until the doorbell stopped ringing. On the rare occasion that we did give out something, it was pennies and/or apples. Yes, we were that family.

I've never been able to get into Halloween since then. When I hit high school I got invited to parties but my indifference toward Halloween never lifted. I never tried to win the costume contest... I barely wore a costume at all. I was a nurse one year because my mum was a nurse and there were few a uniforms in the closet. I've gone dressed as a boy and worn my brother's clothes. Once I tried to go as a hooker... daisy dukes, shirt tied in a knot, high heels and fishnet stockings and my parents refused to let me leave the house. Now I get it. Then? Not so much. A few years ago I was a devil. All I did was wear a cape and horns over a sexy black dress. See? No effort.

I try because of the kids. They get so excited. But I just can't muster up any enthusiasm for buying a bunch of chocolate for ungrateful neighbourhood kids wearing superhero costumes under their snowsuits and toques. Superheros don't get cold, do they?

My kids keep begging me to put up decorations like the neighbours but I just can't. I just don't care. They're lucky we even buy and carve a pumpkin. I don't even like to take them trick-or-treating. It's usually freezing and/or drizzling. I use the old "if-I-go-out-with-you-all-there'll-be-no-one-here-to-give-out-treats" ruse. It works every year. And for that they can blame their grandpa. Thanks, dad.

I just have to let it be known that I'm wholly impressed by those who love Halloween. The people who dress up to hand out candies, who make "victims" walk through their "haunted" houses and who set up the screams-and-scary music cd. I just wish it was me. I think I may put dry ice in my jack-o-lantern this year. See, I can grow.

kxx