Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Good luck Sue! Thinking of you...

My friend Sue is having breast reduction surgery tomorrow. I know she'll be thrilled with the result because in 2001, I had the same surgery. Did you know it's the plastic surgery procedure that has the highest rate of customer satisfaction? I'm know I'm pleased!

Blossoming. They make it sound so beautiful and natural. Not when you've got the biggest boobs in grade 9. By the time I hit 14 I was already a 36D. What a nightmare. Boys thought I was easy and girls didn't like me because of it. And everyone thought I was dumb as a bag of hammers. Just because of the size of my chest. Like any of this was my fault! As a result, I was extremely shy and virtually friend-free all through high school.

It was hard to buy bathing suits because manufacturers thought that if you're big on top you must be big all over. Dresses didn't fit right, shirts didn't button down the front or puckered badly and t-shirts did that Suzanne Summers pull across the front. Not pretty. Especially since I was a teenager and wanted to look cool. I ended up wearing huge tops and sweaters to hide.
My neck was sore, my back always ached and my shoulders slumped. I don't even want to talk about how I needed deodorant or powder under my boobs for odours and chafing. Yuck. I wore a bra to bed every night and couldn't run or exercise vigorously. At the time of my reduction I was a 36FF. Yes, they make bras that big but they're ugly and cost a flipping fortune.

After the surgery, the first thing I bought was a jean jacket. I never had one before because they never buttoned up. I was such a goof cried at The Bay. I started running and lost 35 pounds. Everything was so great and I loved my new freedom. Now I wear whatever I want and I'm a respectable size 10. No one looks at me as if I'm a hooker even if I'm wearing a low cut top. I'm so happy with my boobs and will show them off to any woman (woman!) who asks to see my "new" 34Ds. I've even flashed them in the ladies room of a bar!

So I wish my friend Sue all the luck in the world. She's going to love her new girls. She's going to want to wine and dine them, take them out dancing, show them off, buy them pretty things... all the early stages of a love affair. She's so lucky. I hope she enjoys every minute of her new life. Oh and just a tip, I got massive mammaries from my mum so I'd suggest she save money for Katie's surgery like I'm saving for Audrey's. Just in case.

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