Feeling fat today

I'm one of those people. I'm concerned about my weight but I'm not motivated to change anything. Don't get me wrong... I'm definitely not obese or anything but I'm a few pounds over the "suggested" weight for my height. But (and here I'm resisting the urge to say "big butt") I'm quite fit. I work out several times a week and have run in 5K races since 2004. This year I'm going to try my first 10K. I love aerobics, running, biking and weight training. In fact in high school I won a medal in a deadlifting competition and specialised in sprinting. As a result my thighs are monstrous. They are freakishly big for my body and very firm. I'm terrified they'll turn to jelly so I keep on exercising.


My 3 kids have laid waste to my stomach. After 3 c-sections it's flabby and jiggly and a roadmap of nasty, deep stretchmarks. My dream is to have a tummy tuck for my 40th birthday. Scott's still not too sure about indulging me on that one.


It's a wonder I have any weight to lose. What with exercising around 5 days a week, chasing my kids around 24/7 and running errands (get it?). Why can't I lose weight? I think it's my SAHM lifestyle. I end up on the computer and (I'll admit it) watching daytime tv for part of the day. Then there's the constant access to the fridge. And the fact that I'm a damned good cook and bake bread, cookies and even home-made pretzels on a regular basis. Because I do home daycare, I want the kids to have a nice snack when they get home from school. Chocolate chip cookies, rice krispie squares, cupcakes... What's on today's menu? Apple Brown Betty. And of course, I can't resist my own terrific cooking so I've got the solution: I need to get a job outside the house.


I'd be slim because I'm away from the fridge and we'd have more money coming into the house. Of course we'll have nothing homemade anymore because there'll be no time or energy, I'll be stressed and dinners will be Uncle Ben's sauces over Minute Rice (ugh). Huh.
I think I'll take my extra 15 pounds, wander over to the fridge and grab the apples for the brown betty, defrost some chicken breasts for the Nachos Deluxe dinner we're having tonight and a little bit of lunch for myself. Something healthy? Nah. Maybe tomorrow.


kxx