Friday, February 2, 2007

I knew it would happen one of these days

I got a speeding ticket. My first one ever since I started driving in 1999. I've never even gotten a parking ticket before.

I knew it would happen... I'm VERY aggressive on the road. It's interesting to me because I'm relatively level headed, calm, unstressed and happy in life. But put me behind the wheel and all bets are off. I become an impatient, cursing, angry beeyotch that I don't even recognise. I even call people names. This town has one of the largest populations of elderly in Canada and they all seem to be going 10kms under the speed limit directly in front of me. I tend to call them "Mémère" and "Pépère" (the french terms for grandma and grandpa). Put I never say it kindly. It's usually spat out in frustration like in the following sentence: "FOR FUCK'S SAKE DRIVE LIKE YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE, MEMERE!!" Also, try to picture me gripping the wheel with two hands, pulling and pushing on it. A favourite anger move of mine. One day I'm going to yank the whole column out, I swear...

So anyway, today I finally got nailed. The officer was in an unmarked car and I was just screaming at yet another Pépère to get out of my bloody way and passing him extremely aggressively and there it was. The lights in my rearview. At first I thought he was responding to an emergency and wanting to pass me. Then I realized the emergency was me. I thought I'd be scared or even cry when this finally happened but it was so cool. My first thought was "damn, I should have brought my camera".

The guy was really nice and even apologised a few times. He showed me the radar gun that said I was going 80kms in a 60 zone. He explained that usually it's $180 and 4 demerits but for me it'll be $40 and no demerits. Thank Christ. Scott would flay me.

We smiled a lot, apologised a lot and wished each other a good weekend when it was all over. How civilised. It was like we were two old friends meeting over coffees. Too funny.

It was an interesting experience to be sure, but one I don't want to repeat. And I honestly tried to be good on the way home but I swear all the Mémères and Pépères are conspiring against me. I just had to pass one or 2. It's not my fault. They force my hand. What's a beeyotch to do?