Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Would you believe I'm not a big chocolate fan?

Sometimes I think other women want to kick me out of our club because of it.

Don't get me wrong, I like chocolate. I don't say no to it when it's given to me. And I sometimes even crave it. But I'm not a chocolate fiend like most women are. If I was told that for some reason I couldn't ever eat chocolate again, I'd shrug and move on although I'd miss chocolate pretzels. Most women I know would go through the five stages of grief before deciding it wasn't worth it then eat it anyway and die happy. Chocoholics all.
So to honour most of my girlfriends (and Scott because, frankly, the man eats chocolate like a girl) who love the sweet treat, here's something amusing I found:

The Rules of Chocolate:
* If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
* Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
* The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: eat it in the parking lot.
* Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
* A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
* If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
* If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
* Money talks. Chocolate sings.
* Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
* If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top panty hose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
* Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do for the day. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

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