Monday, May 11, 2009

Why isn't Mother's Day more often?

I'm of the mind that Mother's Day should be on the birthday of each child you squeezed out or otherwise evicted from your person. Hell, we did (and I'm not exaggerating here) all the work. All the kid had to do was show up. If I got presents and had a party every time I showed up somewhere, the grocery store would be a whole lot more fun.

Each child should be obliged to give you a little something on their birthday. Nothing extravagant, just a flower or a book or a hand-drawn picture. Just to say thanks for conceiving and delivering me. Without you I wouldn't be here. Is that so hard? Instead I'm shelling out a fortune for a laser tag party for 10 13-year old boys on Saturday. Where's the gratitude in that? Are you with me?

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