Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I feel so old

This is how I know:

My kids' teachers are younger than me. Is it weird to still want to call them "Miss" and "Sir" anyway? I hate that they still make me feel like a little kid wedged into one of those chair/desky things. When they're young enough to be my own children.

My bosses are usually younger than me. In fact, at my other job, my managers and the owners of the store were younger than me. The owners, people. They were younger than me and could afford to buy a chain of successful stores. And still afford to eat every day. Where did I go wrong? At least at this new place the owners are pretty much the same age as I am.

People I have crushes on are younger than me. Or I should I say boys I have crushes on. Let's see... Will Smith (40), Neil Patrick Harris (35), Nico Archabault from So You Think You Can Dance Canada (28), Zac Efron (21)... no need to continue. Poor Zac is young enough for me to have actually changed his diaper. Ick.

I don't even want to mention the physical issues that make me feel old. I pee a little when I laugh or sneeze, I wrenched my back the other day trying to struggle out of my bra, and I make that horrible exhale sound when I sit in a chair. I squint at the screen trying to watch tv, teenagers scare me a little and music is always just a little too loud. And once I felt a stabbing pain between my shoulderblades. And what did I do to deserve that, you ask? I took a deep breath. And kids today. The way they dress... Hey you little twerps, get the hell off my lawn! Respect your elders, dagnabbit!

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