And when did I become "people"?
I've always had a problem buying pants. I don't know why. Everybody I know is a size 12, has no waist to speak of, a non-Black girl ass, a 3 c-section round smooshy belly, jodhpur thighs that magically erase fabric and a 29 inch inseam.
So having some issues with trousers, I of course turn to the internet. I found a website that's the eHarmony of jeans. You answer 7 pages of measurements (some weird, I mean bra size? For jeans?) and ta da... your perfect pair of jeans. For $150. Ouch.
I hemmed (hee) and hawed for weeks. The unordered jeans sat in my inbox for ages. In fact, the website sent me a $15 off coupon when they noticed I hadn't pressed the "make my jeans" button on the website in over a month. I went back and forth but I finally went back to the site and pressed "send".
What the hell... it's only money. And finally (hopefully) the perfect pair of jeans.