Today is the last day

You may or may not know this but I'm rarely alone. Twenty-one years ago I lived with my dad. Then I moved in with Scott. Then we had kids. The only time I'm truly alone is on my drive in to work. Until this week. Scott and the kids went camping Sunday night. I refused to go so I've just spent nearly 5 days in complete and utter bliss. I feel like such a bad mother and wife.

I'm supposed to miss my family but I'm in heaven. Do you know what I had for dinner Sunday night? Popcorn. Wanna know what I did Monday night? I went to the movies. Two of them. (The Hangover and The Proposal if you must know).

I sit quietly, watching tv and surfing with my laptop at the same time. The dishwasher has had the same plate, fork and cup in it for days. I move more slowly, I wake up and go to bed when I please and the house hasn't needed sweeping in ages.

I feel both wonderful and awful. Scott took his cell phone to the campsite (yes, I'm aware of how that sounds) and when I talk to the kids I say I miss them. Because I miss the idea of them. I know they'll be back later today and I'll be happy to see them but tonight when I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance and gazing longingly at the laptop or breaking up another kick-fight I'll wish they were back in the woods huddling in their sandy sleeping bags.

kxx