Begging, borrowing or stealing?

I was at Cupcake Camp in February resting my weary red heel clad feet when a stranger came up to me. "Can I steal this chair?" she asked. I knew what she meant and said "Sure".

The other day someone came up to my desk and asked if she could "borrow" a kleenex. I knew what she meant and said "Sure".

But really... stealing chairs? That's not on. Borrowing kleenex? Ew, I don't think so. Keep your swine flu infested cooties to yourself please and thankyou. Isn't it funny how launguage has evolved? What happened to "Is there anyone sitting here? May I move this chair?" or "do you mind if I take one of your kleenexes?"

I'd love to play dummy one day and say no when someone asks to steal or borrow something they (within reason) have every right to have. But I'm too polite (outwardly). I'm outgoing but I rarely can pull off the art of the sass-back. Can you imagine?

Hapless Victim: Hey, Karen, can I steal this pen from you?

Evil Self: No, and I'm calling the cops. Back away from my desk slowly or I'm bringing out the pepper spray.

Whee! What fun. Nothing like the threat of an assault and arrest to make the day go by faster.

kxx