Friday, April 18, 2008

When did I start getting old?

Before I begin, I have to let you know that this will be the most sensational blog ever. Okay, I'm watching too much Bachelor. But really, this post is seriously TMI. Ready? Here goes:

I'm peeing my pants ("trousers" for Kathy). Often. Not enough to show, not enough to even wet my clothing, just enough to, well, feel like I'm peeing my pants. In the past week I've done it at least once a day on one of 3 different occasions. When I was laughing uproariously like I do a lot... damn my carefree and effervescent personality. When I sneezed at work (ugh.) and once when I waited about 10 minutes too long to actually go pee. I may be making this sound amusing but, people, THIS IS FAR FROM FUNNY.

I work hard. I pay taxes. I'm a nice person. I'm kind of pretty. I dress nice. I'm relatively young. Terrific family. I dragonboat. I can bench 100 pounds. For goodness sake, I even skipped yesterday. So what the hell is going on? Is this going to get worse? Am I going to have to start shopping for adult undergarments? Have supper at 5pm? Bed at 9? I have been finding lots of grey hairs lately. Am I going to have one of those salt and pepper afros? This is so distressing. I'm freaking out. I need to get another tattoo which is what I do when I feel old. Or maybe I'll go skydiving. Or pay a cute young boy to flirt with me (besides young Kevin my personal trainer... actually he does a pretty good job of it until he tells me I'm older than his mother. Hmph.). I've got to do something. Something before my bladder strikes (or fails to strike) again. Traitorous organ.
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