Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Bachelor: London Calling is, like, so totally rad!


This show kills me. It's so idiotic yet I can't turn away. I had the (mis)fortune of watching with Scott last night and he grunted and groaned all the way through. It only served to remind me of how asinine this show really is. I kept having to tell him "I never said this is good I only said that I can't stop watching". It's like a gruesome accident that I can't turn away from. Ew.

I'll gloss over the details but the crux of it is that the 3 dim-bulb wanna-be hotties left are vying for a dull-as-dishwater British Bachelor. Why? My biggest beef is that these people are too young to be so desperate. They're all in their 20s for goodness' sake. The Bachelor would be so much more interesting if the women were all ones that made the decision to have a career first and are now terrified that they'll never have a husband or babies. Say, mid to late 30s. That'll do it. Throw in a few MILFs, a Cougar or two and watch the nails and fur fly. Casting like that would make me believe the tears in the "limo of shame" at the end of the show. I mean, really. Am I expected to believe that a "gorgeous" (by someone's standards, anyway), nubile young thing with her whole life ahead of her, not to mention 20 childbearing years, is this upset about getting dumped by Doormat Matt? Come on! She just got embarrassed (and rightly so) that she was dumped by her "boyfriend" on (inter)national tv in front of tens of hundreds of LCD television viewers. LCD stands for Lowest Common Denominator and, yes, I'm included.

The woman cast off last night had dinner with Matt the Plank and said "like" probably 30 times in the 2 minute televised portion of the meal. No prizes for why he chose to not give this one a rose. Excuse me? Do I remember her name? Hey gimme a break, I've only been watching the for the entire series. I have no idea. The only girl I remember is the one that irritates me most: Shayne. Daughter of Lorenzo "Falcon Crest" Lamas, granddaughter of Fernando "You Look Marvellous" Lamas, made famous by Billy Crystal. She's 22 and (shock of shocks) an actress. Last week her father outed her to Matt as a glory hog. I kid you not.

My only excuse for watching this dreck is that I'm a tv addict addicted to American pop-culture. And to be honest, deep down, I kid because I love. If the first step to recovering from addiction is to admit I have a problem, then keep walking. Just give me my fix and avert your eyes.

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