Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What not to do

So I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and learning a lot more about writing in general and blogging in particular. I joined a network called SITS (The Secret Is In The Sauce) and was poking around their site getting some resources and ideas when I came across their list of 10 Things You Should Avoid. I thought I'd share them with you today in case you want to start a millstone blog of your own.

Becoming a Slave To Your Stats
You mean having 2 stat counters in my bookmarks bar and and crying when I lose followers isn't a good thing? Who'd have thought?

Obsessing Over Comments
So if supersexy69 tells me that he thinks that eating kiwi skins is nasty, and that I'm stupid for not liking tomatoes, I'm supposed to just be okay with that? I don't think so.

Putting Unnecessary Emphasis On Your Page Rank
My page can be ranked? Why did I not know this? How do I sign up? Okay, I just found out where I have to go to get the information. Hold on... all signed up. What?? My blog doesn't even rank? Well, I need to fix this right away. I need a plan. Wait... what? Oh. I see what they mean.

You're Blog Envious
Well I only check other blogs for ideas to steal. I don't want to be famous like Perez Hilton, or hilarious like Hyperbole and a Half, or take awesome photographs of food and family like the Pioneer Woman, or have a simple idea blow up with attention and accolades like Cake Wrecks... where was I? Oh yes, envy. It's not like I've slaved over a hot computer nearly every day for 5 years for nothing and these young upstarts get discovered after blogging for 5 minutes but I'm not envious. Oh no.

You're Responding To Blog Drama
I guess you have to be famous or get attention of some kind to understand this one because the only drama on my blog is that of my own creation.

Spreading Yourself Too Thin... And Not The Good Thin That Makes You Want To Go Shopping
So maybe having Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Blogger, Flickr, YouTube and Myspace accounts are too much?

You No Longer Leave The House
Well, I went to yoga last night, and picked up the garbage cans from the street on Friday so there is that but I blame the cold.

You've Run Out Of Things To Blog About
Me? You're kidding, right?

Losing Sleep
I'm a middle aged woman with a young family to take care of. I'll sleep when I'm dead. I definitely spend more time folding clothes and loading the dishwasher at ridiculous hours of the night than blogging. Although I have been known to write on a pad and paper in the dark when I have an idea in the middle of the night.

Caving In To The Pressure To Perform
Uh Oh. I do this one. This one talks about feeling pressure to blog every day. There are so many times when I wished I didn't blog daily. When the wi-fi went down, when we were on holiday, when I just plain forgot. But I go blocks out of my way, sneak into restaurants, sit in parking lots, whatever, just because I picture you all wailing and beating your breasts at home or work waiting impatiently for my next installment of crazy. I obviously think very highly of myself.

So there you have it. The list of what not to do when writing a blog. Looks like I'm the best blogger in the world. Yup. The whole, wide, entire world. Shut up.

kxx


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