Monday, January 11, 2010

Those slacker kids in baggy pants drive me nuts

So technically, my own 13 year old drives me nuts. Because for the last few days Elliott has been wearing giant jeans that he's constantly pulling up. But it's not his fault, it's mine.

See, my kids don't care about clothes. Not at all. So when I'm out I'll buy them clothes from wherever they're on sale. Anywhere from West49 to the Salvation Army. Unfortunately what I'm not good at is judging sizes. I always think the kids are sweet, cute, babies and buy them tiny clothes. So when Elliott came to me saying that he had put a hole in the ass of his pants, I sprang into action. Off I went to the store. After 15 minutes of holding every pair of Baby Gap cords in front of me and squealing like a little girl, I realized I was in the wrong area. The kid is taller than me for goodness sake. Off I went to the men's section. Here's the problem. The boy really should start coming with me. I have no conception of his size. All I did was hold about 10 pairs of jeans in front of me making sure they hit the floor. What I neglected to check was the size of the waist. My bad.

So when he tried them on several hours later, he had to manually hold them up. When I asked him to let go of the waistband, they fell to that unfortunate "homeboy zone" showing his underwear waistband and a quarter of his butt. Damn. They were a 31 inch waist and we measured and he's just shy of 28. Nevertheless, he wanted to wear them (beltless of course) and off he shuffled to school with his pants half off and the legs in puddles around his winter boots. Sigh.

So the next time you see a teenager in those ridiculous pants, yes, he could be a wannabe homie, but he also could be the hapless victim of a misguided mummy.

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