Thursday, December 9, 2010

Least favourite Christmas songs

One of our local radio stations is playing only Christmas songs from now until the big day. Listening to it while waiting at the Dollar Store checkout made me realize how many Christmas songs I hate. There is no way I could listen to that station all day. Here's why:

  • The Little Drummer Boy. Y-U-C-K. It's repetitiveness  makes me want to gouge my eyes out. The only way I can put up with it is when it's paired with that Peace on Earth David Bowie bit. And even then...
  • Christmas Shoes. Horrible, manipulative song about a dying woman's kid buying her a pair of shoes before she bites it. By the end I want to kill her myself.
  • Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. The person who wrote this is going to hell. The hell of having to hear this song on repeat for eternity.
  • All I Want For Christmas is My 2 Front Teeth. I'll bet a frustrated Christmas shopper knocked them out.
  • The Hula Hoop Song by the Chipmunks. Nothing says Christmas like rodents and exercise equipment.
  • Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney. Look, we all agree the man is a legend but once the awful synthesizer starts I get hives.
  • Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by Corey Hart. Insert joke here about cramming sunglasses somewhere Christmassy. At night. 
  • Santa Claus is Coming to Town by Bruce Springsteen. Again with the legend and the hives.
So because of the eventuality of hearing one of these above songs on the aforementioned Christmas station, I'll be listening to the "Merry Christmas playlist" on my iPod. One hundred and twenty-eight of the best, most palatable holiday tuneage in history from 2000 Miles by the Pretenders to Fairytale of New York by the Pogues. Aaaah, that's better. The cure for the common Christmas. 


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