Okay so a couple of weekends ago my dad and his wife came over for the weekend. It was to celebrate his birthday which actually is today. He's going to New York to celebrate so he wouldn't be here. He's 70 and would not like it if we let it slide. So we had his favourite coconut cake (made by me, naturally) surprsed him with my brother and two fights.
You know when you're spoiling for a fight? When you just need to have it out and you know the next thing you say is going to start one? That's how I was feeling by day 2.
We had two good ones:
Arguement #1: Church
Daddy: It's Sunday today. When last you took your kids to church?
Me (mentally): It's ON.
Me (aloud): Christmas 2007
That was a good one. He called me a bad mother and I called him a rigid old goat (not in so many words... after all, he's still my daddy). The crux of my arguement was that we teach the kids to be nice people and that we stress "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". They can pick a religion that suits them when they get older. I'm just not a big fan of stuffing my religion down a kid's throat before they can make a choice of their own. It's like your parents getting you a tattoo when you're 5. When you get old enough to get one of your own, the one your parents got you may not be what you've chosen. It may be but maybe not. He just kept saying that the children wouldn't know the word of the Lord. Hmm. Oh big deal. By that point I was ready to move on. To
Me: So Daddy, you're going to Trinidad in a couple of months. Where are you staying?
Daddy: At Frances' family, of course.
Me: For 3 weeks?
This was the start of the if-you-have-family-anywhere-you-have-to-stay-with-them-or-else arguement. This is a West Indian thing. Maybe a non-North American thing. I'm in the unfortunate position of being both Canadian and West Indian. But I would never spend 3 weeks in another woman's house. To me it's an imposition. It's inhospitable. And don't you dare suggest staying at my place for that long. To my dad if you do go to a hotel, you are telling the people you know in the city that their house and by extension they aren't good enough for you.
That's okay if everybody involved is West Indian but what if part of the couple isn't? That just not what Canadians do. Can you imagine me bringing my entire family to stay at your place for 3 weeks? Maybe overnight. And that's just a maybe. I did stay in London with Kathy for 6 days. But I was alone and that was just a few days. I would never ever impose for 3 weeks. It's ridiculous.
I argued that I'd be putting the host family out for all that time. Daddy said that the guest gets a key, comes and goes as they please and cleans up after themselves. I say, where does your holiday come in if you're cooking and cleaning for yourself? That's when he called me selfish and I agreed. I'd rather stay home then stay in someone's home for an extended period of time. Nyah.
So as usual, we had a great visit. It also explains why he never comes for the day even though he lives a 2 hour drive away. It's always an overnight visit. Now I get it. I don't want it but I get it. Sigh.