Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Happy birthday honey!

Scott my husband turns 51 today, and he's not much of a birthday person. I don't know how that works exactly since your birthday is the best day ever. Even more cool than Christmas because it's all about you.

In case you didn't know, my own birthday is Saturday. This poses a few problems for someone as self involved as myself.

Problem #1: Day Issues. His special day comes first which means that he gets lots of attention. No problem but then people are all birthdayed out when mine comes along just 3 days later.

Problem #2: Cake issues. I've made a kick ass chocolate cake for him for today. I'm a great baker but even between the 5 of us, we can't finish the cake before my birthday comes around. And even if we could, we're experiencing icing overload by then. That combined with the fact that I made him his favourite chocolate, and I'm not a fan of the flavour, I can't even put candles on what's left because I don't love it.

Problem #3: Gift Issues. Again, because his birthday comes first, we have already independently bought presents unseen and unknown by the other. Normally, the husband sees what the wife has bought and has months to buy something commensurate with her purchase. So let's say the wife bought him tickets to his favourite sporting event and the husband was planning to buy her gas station flowers. Ordinarily he'd have time to rethink that shitty present and shell out for Cirque de Soleil tickets. Scott has no such luxury.

Problem #4: Party Issues. The classic dual party. For someone as self involved and narcissistic as myself, when I have a birthday I want it to be all about me. It's been over 20 years since I've had a birthday party that I didn't have to share (I obviously don't play well with others). Especially with a wannabe curmudgeon who'd prefer to spend his birthday alone in a tent at the waterfront of a national park.

All that to say Happy Birthday to the man I married. See how I even turned his birthday post into a selfish composition focussed all about me? I'm a terrible person (whose birthday is coming up...).


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