Monday, December 7, 2009

I'm a bad mother

At least that's how I feel when I open up the school photo envelope and hate the way the kids look. My own babies, the fruit of my loins, and they look like bizarre aliens. Yup, I hate school photos. I don't buy them anymore.

They're so staged and fake. Terrible forced smiles, squinty eyes, not to mention that 9 times out of 10 I've forgotten that it was picture day and sent them to school in torn, dirty or hilariously dated outfits. Complete with bedheaded hair and Nutella smeared cheeks. Saving grace? At least the photos aren't scratch-and-sniff. Audrey had a preteen blemish on her philtrum (google it) on photo day and they removed it. Good. But when they did they left a weird beige mark on her face. Bad.

Then I feel like a bad mother again for not ordering the super-mega-colossal package of 10 8x10s, 30 4x6s, 300 wallet-sized and various fridge magnets, buttons, stickers and calendars. Multiplied by 3 kids that's around three-quarters of a million dollars and enough photographs to wallpaper Parliament Hill. Why isn't there a package with about 4 4x6s and about 10 wallet sized? That's all I really need. Just for immediate family and friends. With the other package you're forced to give pictures to acquaintances and strangers just to get rid of them. What would you do with a photo of my kids? Thought so.

I hate to order them but if I do, it'll be a souvenir of the rare day (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) I was a negligent mother and sent my kids to school in Ninja Turtle pyjama pants because their jeans were in the wash. Because as you know, every mother wants a keepsake of that.

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