Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Yuck. Foot wine.

You can see I'm feeling back to normal when my mind starts to wander into bizarre territory.

I was watching a commercial for the intolerably perky and entirely unwatchable local morning show when I saw two of the hosts making wine. By squashing the grapes with their feet. I don't drink wine but the idea of someone's toe jam and bunions anywhere near anything I drink gives me the heebie-jeebies. Yes, I realize that they most likely wash their trotters before dunking them in the vat a la Lucy but feet can go through a lot as I can attest after Sunday.

If I drank wine, this would be disturbing to me. I know there are probably more modern ways of pressing grapes and that a foot-squished batch is probably hard to come by. But still. Uck. And I can see them advertising the hell out of it too. "Pressed the old-fashioned way!"... "Old World goodness!"... "A taste of trappist monks".... Each bottle would probably cost a fortune, too to keep those guys in Odour Eaters. I'd need an iron-clad guarantee that the feet go through a government mandated pedicure on threat of prison and there's a special foot autoclave (footoclave?) at every winery, I may be tempted to take a sip. Maybe.

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