Ah POOP

Many of you know about what happened last year when my kids had swimming lessons. For those of you that don't know or have forgotten (I certainly haven't and never will), I developed a humiliating crush on the children's swimming instructor. The no more than 20 year old, Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike swimming teacher to my 3 children. I babbled like a loser, asked him inane questions, took his photo when he wasn't looking and to top it off, on the last day I baked him cookies. You heard. Hoo boy. It's not like I'm 18 years old. It's not like he doesn't know I have kids. I'm an aging suburban cougar with a mortifying crush that he can probably see coming off me in waves. He probably pissed himself laughing with the other swimming teachers while scarfing my delicious chocolate chip cookies.

Anyway, yesterday was supposed to be the first day of lessons this year. I shaved everything, put on the most makeup I could to look perfectly natural (at 9am) and the phone rang. I see "city of Ottawa" in the display and pick it up quick. It was Steven telling me that because of a blackout the previous night there would be no lesson. Dammit. I gabbled some kind of (hopefully) appropriate response, hung up and pouted like he broke our big date. Poor me (I mean kids). At least, I thought, we have tomorrow.

Well, we don't because there was another call this morning saying that the pool filter was still suffering and again no lesson. Wha? Okay, now I'm starting to think it's me. Did he see my name on the roster and freak out that the elderly kook from last year will be making googoo eyes at him from poolside again? What if I promise to keep my eyes in my head? And my camera in my purse. The poor kids. Seriously this time. They're such bad swimmers for their ages. I feel like they're going to be wearing waterwings at the beach on their tropical honeymoons just because their mum (while happily married btw) couldn't stop slobbering at their teacher during their lessons. Sigh. Well, there's always tomorrow. I hope. He sure isn't getting cookies this year.

kxx