So as I was leaving work today I was sitting in the car and watched a woman walk past. She got into her car, which was parked 2 cars away from mine and drove away. In literally 15 seconds. How did she do this?
This is my routine as I get to my car.
I open the back passenger door and dump in whatever extra bags I have with me. Usually a grocery bag filled with school related ephemera or a gym bag full of damp clothes and towels. 30 seconds.
I walk around to the driver's seat and plonk myself in. I remove my purse that I wear across my body and put that on the passenger seat. I arrange my purse in a way that I can grab any candy I inevitably have inside (usually Rockets). I also have to place the bag so that if I have to stop short it doesn't fall on the floor. I've been known to pull over in traffic to retrieve it when it's happened in the past, and it's not pretty. Two minutes.
So after I wrestle my bag off (harder in winter) and place it just so, I reach down my top. No, not for anything nefarious, for my phone. I scroll through the apps (since I've left Appleland and gone into Androidville, this takes ages) trying to find the podcast I was listening to when I shut it off. When I find it I have to connect it to the separate Bluetooth speaker I have because my car is ancient and doesn't attach the phone to the car radio speaker. Three minutes.
Finally, I turn on the engine and warm the car up. I make sure the podcast is in the right place since I don't want to mess with it while driving. Again, happened in the past, not pretty. I adjust the mirrors and seat (how on earth do they always move if I was the last driver??) and I windshield wash the windows. It's a thing I need to do. Hey, I need to see, right? Two minutes.
So that's nearly eight minutes give or take a minute, and I wish I was joking. Eight. I actually add this time to the amount of time I need to get anywhere. I so envy the people who can hop into their cars and drive away. I don't even want to go into how long it takes me to leave the car once I've parked. Suffice it to say that it involves almost everything above in reverse (minus the adjusting and window washing), but it has a fun added bonus of waiting for either a song to finish or the podcast to have a natural break. Oh the lunacy.
If there's one thing this blog does, it illustrates to myself just how much of a neurotic kook I am. Who needs therapy?