Thursday, January 16, 2014

Borrowing children

I was talking to Audrey after we saw a trailer for the Lego movie. Incredibly it looks hilarious to me and in the face of having to see all nine Oscar nominees (Yuck why do I still do this?... it's like medicine, seriously.) in a month, I thought I'd really like to "borrow" one of my preschool kids and just go see it.

When I told this to Audrey she was surprised. Well, at first she thought I meant to kidnap the kid. My actual intention was just to ask the parents to take them out on a "date" but whatever works. I kinda want to see this ridiculous movie. Especially if I have to go see the super depressing 12 Years a Slave.

Anyway, this conversation reminded me of the time when I went shopping for a table and chair for my classroom. I went to Ikea and stood in front of the tiniest table and chair I ever saw. It couldn't possibly be the size I needed, could it? Being away from my classroom and in a giant warehouse didn't help, either. So I did what any red-blooded preschool teacher would do. I borrowed a kid. I waited for the first 3 year old to walk by (it didn't take long... this was Ikea on a Saturday, after all... two words: cheap meatballs) and jumped in front of her mum.

Me: Hi! Excuse me... this is going to sound weird but can I borrow your daughter?
Terrified mum: Uh. What?
Me (laughing and trying to look less psychotic. My haircut does NOT help): I'm a preschool teacher, and I'm trying to buy this table and chair for my classroom but it seems too small. Can I have your daughter just sit here for a second?
TM (smiling but only looking only slightly relieved): Okay.
She manoeuvers her child to the little table but never takes her hand off her back. This is wise. That kid is cute, and I need a movie date. Oh, and the table and chair are perfect.
Me: Thank you so much, and your daughter is gorgeous by the way.
TM: Oh, that's not my daughter. I've never seen this kid before in my life.
(I was just checking to see if you were listening)

kxx (Here there be links. If you don't see them, get thee to blogger)

Here's the table in action. Er sort of...

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