At 2:01 Tuesday I was...

Getting pampered and primped like a prize pony. I was at a local luxury spa thanks to a super generous gift from my preschool kids last year. I felt pretty guilty at one point realizing that I have very little stress in my life yet I could still spend 8 hours (yes, you read that right) at this spa... (obviously most of these photos aren't mine)

Look at this place! Restaurants, wet and dry saunas, pools of every temperature...

This water is so salty you float without trying. It's so dark and soothing I fell asleep for 20 minutes and only woke up when I floated into someone else!

There are wood burning stoves all over the outside so it smells like campfires. Le sigh...

I got a massage and a facial

Feeling like a chocolate marshmallow after the dry sauna... It was at 203F... about the same temperature I use in the oven to keep my pancakes warm

So anyway, that's the reason I didn't post on Tuesday. When I got home I was a complete mushbag. I don't even know how I was able to drive. Funny story... I wanted to tip my masseur and they give you these little envelopes where you are supposed to stuff the cash inside. I must have spent 5 minutes trying to get to money in the envelope before I just threw the cash and the envelope at the cashier and practically dribbled "Ca c'est pour Maxime" before lurching my way to the car.

Best. Day. Ever.

kxx

Crying at the park

I went for my usual run this morning and I stopped like I always do to hang out with the heron that's always fishing there. Thirty minutes after sitting on my rock, a lady came by on a bike. She stopped and she started making small talk.

Her: Beautiful creature, huh?
Me: Definitely. I've been here half an hour just watching it.
Her: And it hasn't flown away? That's pretty special. Have you lost anyone lately? It could be their spirit saying hello to you.
Me (thinking where the hell did that come from?): Um. No...
Her: Well have a lovely day!
And she biked off.

Of course, what do I do? I start thinking of the people I've lost which leads to my mother, the only significant one and I start crying. In the park. Like an idiot. In front of the bird.

Awkward.

So how was your morning?

kxx

I took these Friday morning... not bad, right?

She let me get really close

Does anyone have a nicer place to run than I do? I'm so close to this park, If I screamed, my kids at home would hear me. Not that I do much park screaming...

The irresistable pull of TBT

Ever the follower, I have finally succumbed to the ubiquitous "Throw Back Thursday".

"But ma, everyone is doing it!" 

Here is an adorable photo of my brother Mike and me at Beaver Lake in Montreal. Check out my sweet sweet afro puffs.

kxx

At 2:01 yesterday I...

was at the movies (again) with Audrey. We finally went to see Maleficent. Why didn't I see that earlier? It was so much better than I expected.

I was one of *those* people at 2:01 when my phone went off. I really though "airplane mode" meant no noises but apparently it's no NOTIFICATIONS. Alarms still go off. Heh.

Later we went to see Justin Timberlake but that wasn't at 2:01. It was, however fucking amazing (pardon my French). Here's a pic...

kxx

Best. twitter. Ever.

So I was scanning through Audrey's twitter feed (like you do) and I happened upon this:


"I spend more time with my mom than with my friends, but im not complaining I love my mom, she's fun :)"

Well colour me surprised. We had just spent the day together, walking around downtown and pretending we were tourists. We ate ice cream and cupcakes and tried on shoes. What's not to like about that kind of day? But I really was surprised at the post. She never said much about it even though I know we both had fun. I love that she posted this to her friends although a thank-you wouldn't have gone amiss. I consider this it in spades. In fact, I may print and frame it.

kxx (Best mother ever)

At 2:01 today I...

It's okay to take a still photo inside the theatre, right?

Was just about to leave the movies with Audrey. We were seeing Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. It was so good! I don't think we've seen a shitty movie yet this summer. And we want to keep our streak which is why we aren't planning to see the new Transformers movie...

kxx

What a busy weekend!

Friday:

Scott and I went to Montreal to see Cirque De Soleil. Before that, though he had a meeting in town and I went with him so I could play tourist. I had no idea that a parade would break out. I've lived in Ottawa over 20 years and never saw the changing of the guards except by accident. Today was no exception.

They close the road to traffic every single weekday in the summer for this. In busy downtown. So cool!

Later was the trip to Montreal. While the show was beyond amazing, our "hotel" room was one step up from a European prison cell. Scott, being the ultimate gentleman that he is (because I made the reservation) kept going on about the view, the quiet, the location and the clean sheets but I couldn't get past the bathroom fan that sounded like a jet engine, the tv that didn't work, the lack of a radio, the lack of a closet, the one small lamp for lighting, the truly abysmal green streaky paint in the bathroom (I swear it looked like someone had smeared their poop on the walls. Seriously.) Oh I forgot to mention the humongous spiderweb behind the bathroom door. I didn't look too close but at least it seemed to be uninhabited. And the toilet that only worked half the time.

See? We had to mess with it every time we flushed.

So. Freaking. Small. Look at the edge of the bedspread...

then attach it to this picture to get the "scope" of it. I'm standing in the doorway.

Thank goodness we didn't stay in that gross room too long. Like I said, the show was fantastic... so much to see. I thought Scott would think it was too "frou-frou" but he enjoyed it on another level. He loved the engineering of it and how they moved trapezes and trampolines in and out of their places while keeping the theme. Pretty incredible. Naturally I liked the shirtless guys.

Pre show...

Saturday:

We went to visit my aunt in her new "old folks" home. She's pretty lonely so every time we find ourselves in Montreal we go see her. She's going to be 82 in September. Looka dat face...

This was at McDonalds of all places. She was jonesing for a Big Mac

Sunday:

Blissfully nothing but a dragonboat practice.

Monday:

My second crown appointment at the dentist. I hate the dentist but I love laughing gas. I felt nothing as they ground my tooth down to a nub then glued a shiny new porcelain tooth in its place. She told me that my teeth were so white that they had to use the second whitest one they had. I'm so glad it's all over. I hate the dentist but you can't really tell from this photo...

They shouldn't have left me alone. Did I mention I like gaughing las?

So that was my weekend. How was yours?

kxx
PS: Saw this plaque on a door as we were leaving the "hotel" and it made me laugh...

"On this site in 1897 nothing happened"

This is great stuff

Longtime readers know that I have a complaint about my dreams. They are usually quickly forgotten, senseless, vaguely scary or about nothing at all. Seriously I have had dreams about sitting on the couch watching So You Think You Can Dance, I shit you not.

I always keep a pad and paper by the bed for when I randomly remember a grocery item to throw on the list later, song I want to download in the morning or an  invention I think would revolutionize the automotive industry. Like plastic self-adhesive defrosting strips that you attach to the windshield and plug into the lighter. I've got to get on that one...

So anyway, this morning the pad and pen were in my bed and there was stuff on it I don't remember writing. I obviously had a dream, I woke up, wrote it down and quickly forgot about it. Cool, right? here it is, weird spellings and punctuations and all. I'm pretty sure I wrote it in the dark (or maybe in my sleep) because the writing was a mess and Scott didn't wake up...

_______________

Alien chase in space one runaway and two bountay hunters.

they crash land on earth at a seaside town and immediately the atmosphere forces them to shapeshift or something borrow the bodies of the locals?

the chase restarts but and now the hunters are in male and female bodies. They incapattte (I think it's supposed to be "incapacitate" but side note: how good is my vocabulary even while asleep?) there bounty then finally realise what a beautiful place they are in.

***massive incomprehensible scribbles here***

they hide the body the proceed to have an amazingly romantic day at the seaside. NOSEX  (Wow, it looks like I'm a prude even while dreaming)

in the evening another ship that has been monitoring the whole chase arrives and starts scanning the earthlings looking for the 3 aliens. the original bounty alien had woken up and watched the other two aliens fall in love. He dmages temporay the scanner guns which don't work when used on the bounty hunters. After a few tries, they start to work as they lovers get painfully discovered.

happens in one day. space stuff. SPACE ROMMACE!!!

_________

What kind of crazy is that?

Now I just wait for Hollywood to call...

kxx

You get the weirdest pictures when you google image search "alien romance"

At 2:01 today I...

Was leaving the movie theatre after seeing How To Train Your Dragon 2. I hadn't planned on seeing it but my friends who have had nothing but good things to say about it. Plus it was "cheap" Tuesday and a rainy day to boot. What's a girl to do?

We went early so we wouldn't eat but we ended up at Dairy Queen anyway. I'm addicted to Banana Cream Pie Blizzards...

kxx

PS: Pardon my old ladying out here but I remember when it was called "$2.50 Tuesday". Now that was a deal. Spending $12 for 2 tickets is barely a deal, thank-you-very-much...

My summer jam

Okay, I'll admit it, I hate the term "jam" for a song but what can I say? I have to keep up with the hep cats of today so I don't look like a square from Nerdsville.

That sentence makes me itch.

Anyway, in normal person-speak, here is the song that I can't get enough of this summer. It reminds me of summers in the mid 80's. We went to clubs with only enough money to pay the cover charge and just danced and danced. It got so humid that stream would rise off the dance floor and condense on the windows (if there were any... why were the clubs I loved usually in basements?)

By the end of the night, all the Boy George/Madonna makeup jobs we worked so hard on ended up in wadded kleenexes on the bathroom floor. Our carefully, crispily, coiffed Flock of Seagulls hair hung in limp strands on our sweaty foreheads. And we didn't care... we just wanted to dance. It was awesome. This song brings all that back. Plus, if you notice, it looks like it was filmed all in one take. I love that.

Just googled  Kiesza and now I like her even more. She's Canadian! It cracks me up to notice that she was only born in 1989. Five years after the stuff I mentioned above. I'm so freaking old...

kxx

I think I'm lonely

Not the kind of lonely that has no friends or family, but the kind of lonely where I can't find a single person that shares my interests.

Not my values or goals or family make-up but someone I can go to a show or nerd out with. I spend so much time alone "enjoying" the things I really have fun with (Comic-Con, the ukulele, Doctor Who... the list goes on and on...) that I'm actually starting to rethink their merit. Do people my age (nearly 50) really do this stuff? Why am I the only person I know in real life that likes this? Am I trying to reclaim my youth? Do I only like it because it's outside of "normal"? Am I making an ass of myself? Am I embarrassing my family?

I know most of my friends and co-workers "don't get me". This was actually said to me once. I try most days to think "So what? I like what I like and if that puts me in a superhero tee shirt in the middle of an exhibition floor, so be it." But I can only think that for so long. Because every time I drag a barely interested family member to something I really love or sit alone in a theatre watching a show based on a podcast I love, it chips away at the confidence I have about liking what I like.

Look! It's Carlos and Cecil!! But you wouldn't know who they are.

Anyway, that is what I was thinking as I sat in the audience (alone again) watching Welcome to Night Vale last night. I loved it but it was tinged with the feeling that I'm fooling myself somehow. Maybe I don't like this kind of thing after all. Maybe I just need to grow up, put away my Converse and corsets and hang up my ukes for good.

All my eternal gratitude and admiration if you can tell me why I named this uke "Phil C"

I'm not posting this to get loads of "be yourself" comments. I know that, I really do. I really just needed to vent. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I may be outgoing (and thank god I am) but it's a struggle to insert yourself into an already established group in the lobby of an event. Plus I can't help but feel green with envy over 5 BFFs who can cosplay as The Avengers or a whole family dressed like the main characters in Labyrinth. I don't think I could act like a 46 year old (47 in 37 days-- send gifts) if I tried. I wouldn't even know where to start.

So that's my deal for today. Take it as you will. I know I'm a special flower in life's little greenhouse but man, there are days when I wish I could be a dandelion with a zillion other dandelions...

kxx

It's exhausting to be so "special"

Picture Dump!

It's that time again boys and girls when in lieu of a proper blog post I just vomit up the contents of my phone and expect you to enjoy it. And you do. Don't try to lie. That said... let's take a tour of that last month or so, shall we?

Here are the cupcakes (and cake) that I panicked over, sweat on and generally freaked out upon for my friend's wedding. They didn't turn out so bad but it reminded me of precisely why I'd NEVER do this as a business.

Last day of school picnic and bubble party.

Audrey's birthday came precisely 3 days after the wedding. I had LOTS of grey frosting left over which explains the odd colour of her cake.

My first pub quiz. We didn't get our asses handed to us but we also didn't do as well as I had hoped. Note the photo question at the bottom of the page that guaranteed ONE right answer from my team

A selfie from the dragonboat festival where our women's team "The Dames" came in 5th overall out of about 20 women's teams. Oh, and did I mention that we're the oldest women's team by average age? Take that.

This is the same day after paddling 10 races and sitting in the hot sun. Audrey wanted to stay to watch Down With Webster. She's lucky I love her.

She got to meet the lead singer so I suppose the sacrifice of seeing a noisy band after working out all day was worth it. Look how happy she is...

Proving that all the nice photos of me are clearly staged. Here I am Jabba the Hutting in my new Costco hammock.

Proud parents at Henry's grade 8 graduation. Also where did this 6' kid come from? 

At the beach with Audrey. Living so close makes it easy to just drop everything, bring a blanket and a Kindle and hang for an hour. Plus the Baja Burger Shack is licensed, y'all!

Elliott has an incredible talent to make every photo he's in look like an album cover. He's on his way to camp here and I won't see him till the end of August.

This is the thanks I get for taking them to Dairy Queen

Sangria much?

Doing my nails this past Tuesday at 2:01. You can see why I didn't post it... (I didn't say these were all going to be fascinating...)

Can I just say that I love these kids? These are Elliott's friends who knew that he's not here but came over to hang out anyway. We were watching the World Cup.

kxx