I went to Service Canada today to get my health card updated and found that my whole life has been a lie. For the last 48 years I've been calling myself "Karen" when I should have been using my actual first name Elisa. I'm more than a little weirded out by this. By the misuse of a comma, my world is turned upside down.
I know it won't impact my life but I keep thinking about all the times I use my name. From making restaurant reservations to my bloody wedding day. God, am I even still married? Technically, Scott didn't use my real name... There's my signature, every single piece of ID I have, even my tattoo, for goodness sake!
Okay, I know that realistically nothing in my life is going to change but it feels so bizarre. I feel like a "Karen" right down to my DNA. My mother chose it because it was one of the commonest names in 1967. She only chose Elisa because her middle name is Eliza but it sounded too old fashioned to her. By the way, it's pronounced ee-LEE-sa. Not sure why she went that way but that's the way it is. I think. I'm not too sure about a lot of things after today.
I told this to the kids and now Elliott is gleefully calling me Elisa. I feel like I should tell everyone I come across in case they think I'm trying to fool them. But talk about the long con. Forty-eight years and counting.
PS: Ooh! If we're picking new identities too, can I choose "multilingual sexy spy"?