I'm thinking of taking this act on the road...

kxx
(I'm under no illusion that I'm a good singer or that I didn't make some epic mistakes, but I love singing at ukulele group. It's a safe, supportive place and I get to play out my rockstar fantasy every month.)

Who am I?

I went to Service Canada today to get my health card updated and found that my whole life has been a lie. For the last 48 years I've been calling myself "Karen" when I should have been using my actual first name Elisa. I'm more than a little weirded out by this. By the misuse of a comma, my world is turned upside down.

I know it won't impact my life but I keep thinking about all the times I use my name. From making restaurant reservations to my bloody wedding day. God, am I even still married? Technically, Scott didn't use my real name... There's my signature, every single piece of ID I have, even my tattoo, for goodness sake!

Okay, I know that realistically nothing in my life is going to change but it feels so bizarre. I feel like a "Karen" right down to my DNA. My mother chose it because it was one of the commonest names in 1967. She only chose Elisa because her middle name is Eliza but it sounded too old fashioned to her. By the way, it's pronounced ee-LEE-sa. Not sure why she went that way but that's the way it is. I think. I'm not too sure about a lot of things after today.

I told this to the kids and now Elliott is gleefully calling me Elisa. I feel like I should tell everyone I come across in case they think I'm trying to fool them. But talk about the long con. Forty-eight years and counting.

kxx (exx?)

PS: Ooh! If we're picking new identities too, can I choose "multilingual sexy spy"?

So proud of my boys yesterday

Yesterday was Remembrance Day and Scott and Elliott were asked to participate in a small event. My neighbour Eric and his wife work at a senior's residence and they were having a little ceremony. Because they know Scott's dad was in the RCAF and Elliott plays the pipes, the boys were asked to help out. And of course because I'm all fomo* all the time, I took the morning off work to see what they were going to be doing.

I uncharacteristically sat back and while they did their thing. I can't say I didn't pepper random conversations with "that's my son/husband!", but I did my best to stay out of the way and let them do their thing. I was proud and happy to watch them in action.

Scott chatting up the ladies

The requisite selfie 

Piping the first song

The prayers

Song 2

Distracted by my shoes yet again

Song 3

Scott shows off his dad's uniform

The boys' Q and A

*fomo = "fear of missing out"

How did you commemorate Remembrance Day yesterday?

kxx

These are a few of my favourite things....

Close your eyes and picture Julie Andrews trilling those beautiful notes while jumping on a bed with 7 adorable motherless waifs, then open your eyes to the reality of a chubby, Black, baldheaded woman squatting at her computer in her pyjamas with an empty plate of partially eaten pizza crusts around her. Where are her 3 waifs? Dunno.

Sorry to remind you that his is the real world, folks.

Anyhoo...

I want to share a few of my favourite things right now. Join me as we take a walk through my weird little mind today.

1. Scrub shirts at work. Where have they been all my life? When I did my first field placement back when the earth was cooling, the centre had a policy that all their teachers wear them. At the time I thought it was oppressive and mean. Nope. These shirts are easy to clean, I don't care how many times I wear them in a month, it takes half the time to choose my wardrobe for the day since I only have 10, and best reason ever? The POCKETS. My god, the number of times I pick something up to re-home, need kleenex or a pen, it's right there in one of my many deep pockets. And I can embrace my nerdiness with the patterns available.

2. Not having to wear scrubs. I now love going out and showing that I have a figure and nice clothes.

3. My tiny frog Jay. He's in a small tank with my betta fish and he makes me laugh every day. When it's feeding time he bolts to the top of the tank and back down looking like he bangs his head on the gravel every time. Then he'll freeze dead in a hilarious pose on his back legs like Michigan J. Frog from the Bugs Bunny cartoon. That's why his name is "Jay". I've had the thing for months and it kills me every time.

Can't you just see him with a top hat and cane belting out "Ragtime Gal"?

4. My half days at work. Yes, we need the money and yes, I need a pension, but damn, when I'm doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom at 2pm or making a fancy supper in the middle of the week, it pays off for my mental health and general happiness. Afternoon naps are an exquisite bonus. Plus if you're having a shitty day at work (and trust me, in a preschool I don't always mean that figuratively), it's nice to remember that I'll be home in the sweet embrace of my couch-groove in mere hours.

5. My new shoes. A second pair of Fluevogs and they make me so happy. I was at a meeting last night and I caught sight of them and was distracted by them for so long that my boss who was sitting beside me, watching me gaze at my outstretched leg, commented "nice shoes" but I think it was more of a "will you effing pay attention?" Hee.

6. Periscope. It's an app where people can film what they are doing in real time. You watch and post comments and questions that you can answer. The other day I watched a guy in the UK making pancakes, asking him questions about ingredients. I know how weird that sounds but you have to take my word for it. It's so great. I'm actually filming myself blogging this very minute. No one is watching oops... 2 people just logged in and are watching me as I type. Weird...

kxx

On stage again

And the number of fucks I give about how fat I am and how badly I sing ranges from 0 to about 2. It is cancelled out by how proud I am about getting up there every time. That's why I feel it is my duty to assault you with the video each time I attempt this. I've got 2 more I'd like to try before the new year so gear up...

So there you have it. I'm working on an unfamiliar but very sweet song by AJ Raphael and a Christmas song by Spongebob. You heard. So be prepared to turn your speakers way way down!

kxx