Thursday, February 21, 2013

Oscars on Sunday!

I'm thrilled that the Oscars are finally here. I say it year after year... these are my Super Bowl. I've seen all the best picture nominees, I've bought my tickets for an Oscar party at a local movie theatre, the spare room is ready for a post-Oscar sleepover with a friend... I'm good to go.

In honour of this most holy of holy days (it always falls on a Sunday after all), here are my haiku movie review of wait for it... all 9 movies. You know, just in case you want to see them yourself and need a truly terrible poem to help make your decision.

A gentle movie
about love and devotion.
Wake me when it's done.

Seventies outfits,
beards and haircuts, plus intrigue
equals a great flick.

Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Cute girl with big hair.
Drunken but devoted dad.
I'm asleep again.

Django Unchained
Lordy this movie
is so flaming fantastic!
No review, just go.

Les Miserables
So very thirsty.
Why? I boo-hooed myself dry.
Miserable? OUI!

Life of Pi
Bollywood movie?
Nope, just tigers and lifeboats.
Still pretty cool, though.

The man did so much!
Freed slaves, [spoiler alert] died.
Bored to sleep again.

Silver Linings Playbook
Weird little movie.
Everyone's yelling or mad
unless they're dancing.

Zero Dark Thirty
They caught binLaden
But first some water-boarding
to wet our whistles.


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