Wednesday, December 14, 2011

It's been over a week since my last blog

And yesterday my stat counter told me I had over 100 hits! The fact I get more than four familial fleeting daily glances at this blog never fails to surprise me. So thank you for coming. If any of you newbies are so inclined, can you click on the comment box and tell me what brought you here? That'll help me blog about more things you may enjoy. Or not. The likely outcome is I will just keep blogging about whatever I want. But it never hurts to try.

So onto other things. I was quickly checking online this morning and ended up looking at women's naked bellies for 30 minutes, nearly making me late for work. I wish I was kidding. I had waded into xojane's "real girl belly project". Who knew that squishy, rock hard, tattooed, pierced, innie, outie, bruised, even stented bellies could be so hypnotising? Just the bellies photographed, no faces with an optional comment underneath. I'm officially addicted. I've scrolled through the gallery twice already.

So inspired was I by all these brave women that I whipped out my camera, set its timer, took a bunch of belly shots that I deleted so fast I must have wrecked the hard drive. Then I threw away the pieces of the camera I crushed under my shoe. Because clearly, it's defective.

Okay that last part isn't true.

I read a lot of captions the women wrote on that site which said that the reality of their photos wasn't as bad as they thought. Lucky them. Because after the retching and comical chest clenching stopped, I couldn't believe my own stomach looked that horrendous. Yes, I went in knowing it's flabby. I know it's pock-marked and I've been cut from stem to stern three times (and it looks it) to remove those damn kids, but even in comparison the the stomachs on that site, I just couldn't deal with what I saw. I work out and I'm super fit but what I got going on below the equator is unacceptable.

You know I have very little to hide from you all after blogging since 2006. You know waaay too much about me and my pretty mundane life. But I'll state this with all the certainty I can muster: You will never ever EVER see my unsucked belly. Never ever. Did I mention ever?

Again, it's a case of reverse anorexia that I suffer from. I think I'm pretty fly then I see a photo and I have to go out and buy yet another new camera. Oh well. I have other attributes. Like I bake a pretty mean cake. Please distract yourselves by looking at my favourite. Forget I ever mentioned bellies.

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