BOO!

Okay, I have a ton to do this morning... Cutting apples for "healthy Halloween" (yuck), getting 3 kids ready to go to school complete with costumes (Audrey: gypsy; Henry: Spiderman; and Elliott: ironic ghost) so no blog today. Please enjoy my horns and scary contacts. No costume for me... just like in life, I like to concentrate on accessories.

Have a BOOtiful day.

kxx

Breakfast or blogging?

Usually it's breakfast but yesterday it was blogging. I learned my lesson and my cream of wheat is now boiling on the stove. I'll always eat my breakfast. Otherwise it makes me clumsy among other things. Case in point:

Here in Canada and in the UK, we commemorate our troops on 11th November at 11am. In the weeks leading up to the event, we wear poppies on our coats. We buy these poppies for whatever we want to donate from a veteran or cadet at a table in most stores.

Yesterday I went to buy mine after grocery shopping from a sweet old dear in a uniform. I struggled with my change, trying to put my handful of coins into the teensy slot. Toonies, Loonies and dimes started to cascade onto the floor and as I juggled my purchases, loose change, tried to sift the coins into the box and step on the coins that started to roll away, I knocked over her display. The wreath that said "Lest We Forget" in somber letters fell to the floor. Only a tiny bit humiliating. I replaced the wreath, mumbled an apology, crammed the rest of the change in the container, grabbed my poppy and hightailed it out of there. Double time.

So lest I forget, I'm having breakfast. It may not stop my comic clumsiness, it'll cut out an excuse I can use for my antics.

kxx

Good Morning, people

Hapy Monday! Remember that band? The Happy Mondays? Anyway.

As I sit at the computer trying to ignore Audrey's Monday morning screaming fit, I'm still in a good mood. And see? Ignoring the crappy behaviour works. She just came into the kitchen in a better mood to have me fix her hair. Those child-care experts sure know what they're talking about.

So, today I want to vent about Halloween. If you were reading my blog last year about this time (check 26th Oct 2006), you already know I hate it and the reason why so I won't go into that again. But I do have to vent about being forced to partake in the activities. The kids all need costumes for school on Wednesday. Thankfully I still have some influence on them and they've decided to make life easy on me. Audrey wants to be a gypsy so she'll cobble together stuff from my closet for that. It's amazing what the bribe of long dangly earrings will buy you. Then there's Henry who'll happily wear Elliott's robot costume from last year. And the piece de resistance, Elliott. He watched Charlie Brown yesterday and now wants to go as an ironic ghost. I love that he's doing this. It's just a sheet with eye holes. As much as you think you've seen that one a million times, really, how many times have you seen a kid at your door in that costume? I love it. And it makes me hate Halloween just a little bit less.

kxx

Warning! Post with nudity and underaged kids ahead

The nudity is mine and the underaged kid is Elliott.

When are we supposed to stop being nude in front of our kids? When they were babies, my nudity was a necessity. Time just marched on and frankly I just kinda noticed that the kids are now 11, 9 and 7. This morning I was just coming out of the shower and Elliott came in to brush his teeth. Of course I was naked as the day I was born. Neither of us said or did anything out of the ordinary, just went about our business. But I couldn't help but think that I was emotionally scarring my son somehow. What if he later uses my spectacular surgically improved breasts as a yardstick against all others? I'd never forgive myself.

I suppose it's all okay until one of us starts yelling "PRIVACY! PRIVACY!" while slamming and locking the bathroom door. But how are we supposed to know what to do when it's perfectly okay in this house to walk into the kitchen to grab a medicine spoon completely in the altogether? Scott did that one this morning, too. Henry even commented that "Hey, daddy's nude in the kitchen". Scott replied "That's be a great name for a band." and walked off.

Yup, just another day in the Kaye household.

kxx

I’m breaking out my secret cash

See? I've finally found a reason to use some of my secret cash after the major mp3 purchase of last year. Aside from the odd purse and shoes, of course.

So I heard on the radio about creepy contacts for Halloween. As I sat at my desk, I thought: "What a great idea! Subtle and really cool. That's for me." I drove across town and thought that they couldn't be more than about $30. In which case I could use our joint chequing account. When I finally got to Party Mart, I saw the great selection and settled on orange catlike eyes and pulled out my wallet. "That'll be $80 plus tax." she said cheerfully. "Gurk", I reply as I pull my secret bank card from the depths of my purse. Scott would never ever sanction this one. Not that he'd say no. He never does but he would say no to almost $100 spent on something I'll wear for all of 6 hours a year. And I had to have them. So it's a win/win situation.

kxx

Sneaky blog

Scott's home sick and hates that I do a blog (more because I spend time on it and make no money, not because he hates that I write) so I have to be sneaky about this. Every time he walks by I have to (... uh oh... that was him right then) switch windows to the weather channel website under the guise of checking the temperature.

Anyways, as this stress is totally sucking my creativity, this is going to be a lame blog today... oooooh it'll be 11C later... What do I hear around the house? Audrey found a kiddy piano and is pounding away at it. Henry sounds like he's moving furniture. Scott's calling the office and telling someone named Jeff that he's not coming in. Taz is moving around the house and meowing for attention. On the radio they're playing Fifty Mission Cap by the Hip. Awesome song by an awesome Canadian band.

Gotta go make sympathetic noises about Scott's illness (I hate when he's sick so I'll be faking it as usual... ooooooh that was bad) and get Audrey off to school. Have a great day.

kxx

I joined a gym on Monday

So now I'm a GoodLife member. I hated the sales job they used on me. They could have saved their breath since I was already convinced that I would go there. It's convenient by bus, bike and car, it's on the way home from work and 5 minutes away from home (by car anyway). Their classes are convenient for me and the step class I took on the weekend kicked my ass. Loved it.

Problems? Well the one I could see is the fact that in that step class, and in the whole place as a matter of fact, I was the errr, largest one there. And I'm okay enough with my body to know that I'm not a fat person. Big-boneded, yes, but definitely not fat. But the women that took the class and the teachers were thin. I mean vegan triathlete thin. Pierced-bellybutton thin. If-I-looked-like-that-I-wouldn't-be-at-a-gym-but-marvelling-at-my naked-body-at-home-in-a-full-length-mirror thin. What's up with that? There wasn't a "juicy" girl in the bunch. I had to represent us all.

There's also the fact that I have to actually pay unlike the free ride I got from the YMCA. But honestly, not having to give up my Sunday morning wiping butts and noses may be worth the $60 per month.

Great stuff about GoodLife? Carpeted change room (awesome coming out of the shower), great smell even at the end of the day... let's just say the Y is a community service and leave it at that. Oh, and the tvs. Eight gorgeous televisions all set to different channels. In my mind, that's what heaven looks like.

So I'm happy with my new purchase. I'm going again today to watch tv in peace. I mean to work out. And if I go often enough I'll be one of those ripped belly piercers too.

kxx