Hey! It's a normal day, right?

I'm off work today because the kids are off school. So you can see why I've forgotten until now to do my bloggy duty.

I've already made 2.5 batches of cookies (chocolate chocolate chip, plain chocolate chip and the sugar cookies are in the oven) and a load of laundry so I'm busy as a beaver. so what I thought I'd do is copy an excerpt of my diary from 1989 so you can see what kind of complete dork I was back then. Have fun and have a great weekend!

kxx

"Thursday March 30 1989
12:25am- Today was a general washout. Wendy (1) called this morning to find out where I was yesterday (2). I told her I left the employment agency too late for me to meet her. She told me that the place she had lined up was the Stanley Tavern (3). HA! I'd think twice about any bar-- let alone a bar that my compatriots and compadres (4) frequent! It is to laugh. Fate smiled on me for once.

Kathy (5) gave me a cardiac arrest a few minutes ago by tapping on the front door (6). When I opened the curtain, her face was hovering outside. Anyway, she wanted to know if I could go to Simply Red and I had to explain to her that for me "money's too tight to mention" (to quote a red headed sage) (7).

Scott will be here tomorrow (8) so that should alleviate some of this monetary black cloud by taking my mind off it (sic). I'm planning our itinerary. Sort of. What is there to do in Montréal that doesn't involve getting piss drunk and spending the night at Dunn's afterward 'cause you couldn't remember which bus takes you home? (9)"

********************
(1) Who?
(2) A quick scan of yesterday's diary tells me I was going on a job hunt with this Wendy person at 3:30pm today.
(3) An unimaginable dive back then. I'm talking lumber jackets, deer heads, pickled tongues in a jar... think Moe's Tavern without the irony.
(4) Who talks like that??
(5) My best friend who lived next door who now lives in the UK.
(6) Keep in mind it's around midnight
(7) Again, who talks like that?
(8) This was Scott's first visit to Montréal to meet my parents
(9) Are you KIDDING? This is Montréal for goodness sake! This is the typical 21 year old mindset.

Remember how I complained about my dreams?

Do you recall how I used to say that I hated my dreams because they're so mundane (losing my keys or desperately trying to find something)? Well as of last night I take all that back.
For the first time ever I remembered 3 different dreams that I had last night. All three stressed me out in different ways. All 3 were about as different from my usual dreams as chalk and cheese.

Dream #1
Let's call this one "Bus Tour To The Tower Of Babel". I was on a school bus taking a tour of an unknown foreign city. Everyone was speaking french. I can speak french but in my dream I had no idea what anyone was saying. I just kept getting more and more frustrated while people spoke to and about me without me understanding.

Dream #2
This one I'll call "The Marathon Mama". I was eating and noticed that all my chewing teeth were loose. I went to the bathroom an opened my mouth. All my molars were hanging by a thread so in my infinite dreamlike wisdom I decided to take out the nail scissors and snip those threads. I spent a lot of time spitting my bloody teeth into the sink, never panicking or getting grossed out. Keep in mind I'm completely grossed out just typing this. When I was done I only had 8 front teeth left. I was disappointed in the final result because my face looked different. My cheeks were sunken in and I realised I couldn't eat solid food anymore.

Dream #3
"The Comedy Relief". I was in the audience at American Idol and one of the performances was Sanjaya and his sister belting out the Meatloaf classic "Paradise By The Dashboard Light". A nightmare on so many levels.

When the alarm went off at 5am for my biweekly jaunt to the gym, I was never more grateful and bounded out of bed. I feel like never going to sleep again.

kxx

What's a mum to do?

This morning Henry kept telling me that his legs were "tired". That he didn't want to go to school. It actually seemed pretty lame so I asked him some questions. Is something happening at school you don't like? Is your new teacher (the old one is on mat. leave) mean? Are you being bullied? Then it comes out. Some kid named Kyle is "bugging" him on the schoolbus. Supposedly this (older) kid calls him names and pokes him in the ribs down low where the bus driver can't see and can you PLEASE drive me to school, mummy? Complete with tears. Oh MAN.

Ack! What do I do? There's no parent handbook for this stuff. I figure taking the car to school will only delay things so I tell Henry we'll talk to the bus driver Michelle and sort of leave it with her. They have assigned seats so maybe she can move one of them? I don't know. I'm not cut out for this stuff. What I do know is that I want to take the child who's making my baby cry and crack open his head like a frigging coconut. But that's just me.

So I did speak to the driver, and she said she'd look into it. I hope that's the end of it. It's probably a case of boys-will-be-boys. Right?

kxx

The Fog

This morning I drove to the gym in the thickest fog in memory. Definitely since I've started driving. You know when Scully and Mulder would walk into an abandoned warehouse and turn on their flashlights? That was what my headlights looked like. Did you know that they don't point straight ahead? They point at each other like a point of a triangle. I had no idea. Like my dad always says, you learn something new every day.

So I finally find my fog-lights (after a few minutes of fumbling) and turn them on because as everyone knows you don't use your brights in the fog even though you're tempted to. When I turned down the road with no streetlights, I started to freak myself out. I could only see up to the top of the headlights. That's it. I couldn't see anything else. Honestly. I couldn't see the highway ahead or the woods around me and it seemed like the windows were painted white. Spoooooooky.

Ever read the old short story "The Other Side Of The Fog" by Stephen King? It's rare but if you find it be sure to check it out. I kept picturing giant spiders with skin dissolving webs just outside the car windows. I know it was ridiculous but the story is seriously weird and it was 5:15 and I'd only been awake 20 minutes.

Well I got to the gym in one piece and by the time I drove back it had dissipated. No need for fog-lights, no giant spiders. But lots of feeling silly, though.

kxx

Fore!

OMG, I was almost late for work this morning playing this game. If you play, tell me what your score is. I got par (I'm told by someone that actually golfs that that's average).

kxx

Ribs. It's what's for dinner

Not feeling much like blogging so here's the recipe for what I'm making for dinner tonight. It's pork ribs (not much touching of the meat, Chris) with maybe potato skins or rice and salad. I'm going to get Scott to fire up the grill for the first time this year.

I'm boiling the ribs to get ready for the marinade right now. There's nothing like the smell of boiled meat at 8:30 in the morning to get the juices flowing. UmMM. Gag...

kxx

South Keys, Silver City. Same thing, right?

WRONG.

Well, I totally Karenned up last night. Last week I won a pair of tickets to see the preview of that new Adam Sandler movie Reign Over Me. Cool. The problem was my sense of direction.

My friend Norah and I leave with just enough time to make the show and arrive at South Keys wondering where all the people are. It was as dead as a movie theatre on a Wednesday night. We take our tickets to the box office where the girl looks at us like we've sprouted leaves. As we walk back to the car I read the ticket again. Wednesday the 21st, check. Reign Over Me, check. Silver City Cinema, check. UH OH. Well, this is embarrassing.

So we head off to the real theatre only to arrive 10 minutes late and find the show sold out. Apparently they overprint the passes so they can fill the showing. So Norah and I spent 1/2 an hour driving all over unfamiliar parts of town only to not see the movie at all. Good times. To wash away any lingering humiliation I spent $70 on tops at a nearby store before we went home.

So at least it wasn't a wasted trip. And I convinced Norah that chatting and hanging out together this way was much better than a movie. I mean we were able to catch up properly. You know how they frown on talking in the theatre, right? Guys? Helloooo?

kxx