TMI

I'm just warning those of you who are unaware of, or squeamish at, the talk of female "plumbing issues" to turn away now. That said:

WOOHOO! Aunt Flo arrived with a vengeance this morning and I have to say that I've never been more happy to see her bloated, red face. Except for that time in the summer of 1987 but I digress.

See, since Scott had his "procedure", I've been on the pill. No problem. But in late December I took my last one. Instead of renewing my prescription, we threw caution to the wind and err... went commando before the doctor-suggested 3 month post-procedure "commando" window.
Now don't get me wrong. I'd not be broken-hearted if we got pregnant. If it was going to make me miserable, I'd have tried harder to ummm... take care of things. You deal with what life hands you, right? But the idea of being all done with diapers and sleepless nights was verrrrry compelling. And the idea of being blissfully alone with Scott in as little as 13 years? Siiiiiiigh.

A psychic once told me that I would have 4 kids. A boy, a girl and a boy close together then a big space and another boy. YIKES. I was so sure all month that this was the big space. I mean she was right about the sex and cluster of the bunch I already have, right? And if 7 years isn't a big space, I don't know what is. Again I say YIKES.

Anyway, all's right with the world now that Aunt Flo is present and accounted for. Even though she brought her annoying companion Uncle Flatulence. Scott errr.... removed a "sample" last night and it's now winging its way to the lab via Canada Post (this conjures up a lot of thoughts about what people are capable of sending through the mail) so I'm sure all will be well from now on. Which saves you, my loyal readers, from ever again having to put up with a TMI post like this one. For now, anyway.

kxx

Dum dee doo...

I can't think of anything to type. Laaa deeee dahhhh...

Looks like a stream of consciousness day. So what do we have?

-My left foot is warm but my right foot is freezing...
-There was a rape on Passions and I'm getting a kick out of hearing them say the word "semen" over and over on daytime tv...
-Audrey's reading a Scholastic Book order form and trying to decide what to buy...
-Elliott's on the computer downstairs...
-Henry's not home from school yet...
-I feel vaguely hungry...
-Now Audrey wants the computer. It's a good thing too because I was just about to launch into a long drawn-out rant about.... okay, no I wasn't. I'm done now.

kxx

When cheerful people attack

Okay so I show up at work this morning with my usual spring in my step and a smile on my lips. I go in the front door and see my manager at the cash. She'd been away most of last week so I just assumed she was on holiday. First mistake.

Me: Hi C! How are you? You look all happy and wonderful after your holiday. Did you have a good time? Was it fun?

C: Err... ummm... uh..

Me (blundering along blindly and happily): Well, whatever you did it suited you. Well, I'm going downstairs, now. See you later!

Well didn't I find out a few hours later that C had gone out west because her friend had committed suicide and she was helping make arrangements and dealing with the woman's 16 year old son. Fuck.

I went to her as soon as I could and apologised as well as offered my condolences. She understood, of course as I couldn't have known but it didn't help me feel any better. No wonder perpetually happy people make others nervous. What must she have thought? I really need to stop being completely oblivious to other's moods.

kxx

Suuupermum to the rescue!!!!!!!!!!!

So this morning I was told by Audrey that it was Treat Day. For those of you without little kids, Treat Day is a school fund raising event where one class provides enough treats for the rest of the school and the treats are then sold to the other classes.

The treats needed to be wrapped individually and I needed 18 items. Oh, MAN. So, still in my sleepwear (tank top and granny panties), Supermum flies into action. At the speed of light I turn on the oven, mix up the cookie dough, prepare the pans and pop them in the oven. Then, like a flash, I Saran Wrap them together in 18 packets of 2, pop them in a ziplock and throw them to Audrey. Whew. Record time.

That on top of the fact that Audrey and Elliott had to dress as their favourite literary characters (Zack from Butt Wars? Rachel from Ruby the Red Fairy? Who? I'm just glad the characters wore street clothes) and Henry had pyjama day. Honestly, I'm amazing. I did all that extra stuff and no one was late for anything. AND I even read a chapter of my novel before I got out of bed.

SHAZAAM!

kxx

It's Robbie Burns' Day

It's time to take down your Christmas lights. You know I'm talking to you Number 144. Look, your lights were gorgeous on December 1st, all pretty and purpley-pink. They were still nice on January 1st. But on 25th January, a full month past our blessed Saviour's birth, mind you, I'm fed up with seeing them. I'm thinking of starting a petition. You don't even have to take the strands down, just unplug them. We're neighbours. Be a pal.

So, it's Robbie Burns Day today. A day where Scots and people of Scottish descent partake in their fine drink and cuisine. MmmmMM. Nothing says lovin' like a haggis in the oven. And the skirl of the pipes? Hair-raising. And don't get me started on scotch. Actually I love the Scots. Scott's part Scot. Two of my oldest friends Karen and Marianne were born in East Kilbride. Their accents were to die for when we first met but now they sound just like me, poor girls.

So, Slainte Mhath my Scottish buddies! Have a great day. Keep warm and give someone a hug, too. It's also National Hugging Day.

kxx

Dreamcatchers and whatnot (mostly whatnot)

I was driving down the highway today and noticed that someone had a dreamcatcher hanging from their rear-view mirror. You know dreamcatchers... that Native ornament used to strain your dreams catching the bad ones in the net. How odd to have one in your car. It occurred to me that maybe the driver would like to not crash while dozing his way down the 417. That sure would be a nightmare.

Then I thought about the braille writing on the drive-through ATM buttons. I thought that was weird at first. I mean blind drivers? What next? Fat-free french fries? Sign me up. Anyway, then I realized that there probably is a button factory somewhere that makes all ATM buttons and making numbers only ones and separating them just for the drive-through would be a major pain so they just used what they have providing juicy and irresistible fodder for comedians and bloggers alike.

So that's what I was thinking about on my way home from work. What about you?

kxx

My oddities

I got this blog a few weeks ago (Thanks KC) and I thought it may be fun to try and find 6 things you don't already know about me. Especially since I tell you guys every little thing about myself from when my cycle is to what's for dinner. Actually the fun would be mostly for me and not you. But anyway, here I go...

1. I almost always have my toenails painted. I find that they look like Little Orphan Annie's eyes if they aren't. In the spirit of honesty, right now they aren't but they are seriously bugging me every time I see them.

2. I love reading books but hate library books. The idea that tons of people have touched my novel skeeves me out. And I hate passing on or giving away my books. Even those I don't particularly like. I think I still have every book I've ever read.

3. I hate quiet. A radio or tv has to be on even if I'm not paying attention.

4. I won't shower more than once a day. Even if I do something particularly sweaty of grimy. There are so many post-shower cremes and potions that I hate to do it more than I need to.

5. Everyone knows I'm a hugger. But what you don't know is that while I'm hugging you, I'm smelling you and your clothes. I love the smell of Bounce or any strong fabric softener. If I like the way you smell, I'll say so. If I don't you won't hear a peep.

6. I sleep on my stomach with the duvet completely covering my head. Except for a little tiny hole only big enough for my nose and mouth.

Loving you,

kxx