Thursday, July 28, 2016


Doesn't everyone swear in French Canadian when they get hurt?

So while skydiving bungee jumping okay fine towelling off Friday, I tweaked my back. And by tweaked, I mean fucked it up real bad. After crying naked on the bathroom floor a while, feeling sorry for myself (I was alone), I managed to drag my sorry, damp, ass to the medicine cabinet. I took a bunch of Advil, Robaxicet and rubbed some Lakota on it for good measure. Today is Thursday and it still feels delicate. The chiropractor took a whack at it, trying to manhandle it into place but it still feels like it may go again at any minute. You know it's bad when I had to skip not one but 2 dragonboat practices. Merde.

All that to say to you youngsters don't get old.

As it's throwback Thursday, I thought I'd share this old post about how I nearly committed justifiable homicide on Scott one time when he was sick. I think the secret of a long marriage is being able to curb those murderous impulses, don't you?


Monday, July 25, 2016

Pokemon Go

Yes, I play it. Yes, I'm an adult. Usually.

Yesterday I joined a bunch of fellow nerds on a Pokemon hunt. As we wandered the streets on that beautiful day with our heads looking down at our phones, we notice a pokestop. We wander over and notice that it was a skate park. It was pretty popular. too.

So there I was, with 10 other "adults", playing a child's game on my phone, while 15 kids zoomed around on bikes and skateboards, phones safely in their... wherever kids keep phones. So that happened.

You'd think that would shame me into not playing anymore but it didn't. now where are they hiding those Pikachu?


This is us.

And here are a few of the kids. Sigh...

Friday, July 22, 2016

Don't you love amazing customer service?

So this amazing story of customer service happened and instead of explaining it all, I'll just repost the letter I wrote to their customer service helpdesk. I'm sure people only contact these places to complain so I was happy to write this glowing letter.

General service issues

Karen K <>
21 Jul (1 day ago)

to customerservice

Where do I start?

I was confused about the lip ink colour I wanted so I went to your Facebook page, telling them what I wanted and asking for suggestions. I got a reply within a day and ordered it right away. Wow #1.

I placed an order with you for a red lip stain (fire red) and a black eyebrow liner. On your website it said to expect the package in 6 to 8 weeks. My items arrived today. In 10 days. Wow #2.

Within a day of placing the above order, I got a call (on the telephone!) from a service rep asking if I'd used your products before, and whether I knew what to expect (re: tingling and the multi-step process). We had a laugh and a nice chat and she really knew her stuff and was a pleasure to talk to. Wow #3.

When I eagerly ripped open my packet this afternoon, I saw the lip colour I ordered, the brow liner I purchased and several extras. A beautiful (and I mean freaking gorgeous fuchsia colour that I wouldn't have ordered myself), a small packet of shine moisturiser, an off towellete, some magic powder, and a whole container of Off! I could barely believe my eyes. Wow #4

All this to say that I've never in my life had such good service either online or in person. Keep up the amazing work and I'll for sure tell all my friends about you (more than I already have). I write a blog and I'll definitely mention you there as well. You really are a special company and everyone needs to know this.

Karen K

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

So I'm telling everyone right now, if you want terrific lip colour that doesn't come off (and I mean does NOT come off unless you take it off), Google "Lip Ink International". It is a seriously fantastic product. And if you have errr.... delicate eyebrows like yours truly, you should try the stuff I just got "brow liner". I went dragonboating in it and I still look like Cara Delevingne. Again, you have to use the remover they suggest, or your're sleeping with your eyebrows (sounds like a terrible movie). I feel happy and spoiled by these people.


I'm wearing the fuchsia lipstain and the fake eyebrows. Nice, right?

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

My Bluesfest Breakdown

Not literally but there were moments it felt that way.

I saw too many bands in too short a time frame. And speaking of too short... have you seen the denim panties that pass for shorts nowadays? Yikes. It's one thing to have your pockets hanging out in the front but to have your colon practically hanging out in the back is nothing I want to see after having an order of deep fried cheese stuffed Doritos in my belly.

Over the course of 10 days I saw (reviews in brackets):

Holy Fuck (for 5 minutes... ugh)
Brad Paisley (my 1st country show)
Earl Sweatshirt (a profanity laden rapper/ranter)
Lindsey Stirling (neato violinist)
Sam Hunt (Yeah, baby)
Schoolboy Q (no)
Bryan Ferry (classy)
The Lumineers (amazing)
City and Colour (low key)
Amos the Transparent (also low key)
Duran Duran (best of the week. So much energy!)
The Zolas (80s style new music)
The Cult (they rocked but made an unfortunate statement)
leMeow (interesting but meh)
PUP (my favourite of the bands I've never heard of)
The Paper Kites (nice)
The Decemberists (I've heard of them but never saw them live. I liked them!)
AWOLNATION (good band live)
Nelly (Another one that's amazing live)
Alessia Cara (sweet Canadian act)
Billy Idol (I wanted more more more... which is something for a 61 year old geezer)
The Monkees (talk about old geezers... but they were a fun wayback group)
Future (OMG, so good!)
Joe Jackson (another low key act but he was on point)

Just looking at that list makes my stomach turn. And speaking of turning stomachs, this is what I ate over the 10 days (reviews in brackets):

Pad Thai (the only good thing I ate there, and I ended up asking for extra nuts so there's that)
Deep fried Mars bar (sweet on sweet... too chocolatey for me)
Deep fried cheese curds (what's not to like?)
Deep fried cheese stuffed Doritos (Holy crap. That is all. And the sauce? I wanted to bathe in it)
Jamaican patty (the spicier the better and so yummy)
Poutine (x2) (You expected me to stay away from my favourite dish? Twice??)
Pepperoni pizza (hello heartburn. I swear I thought I was having a heart attack. Worth it!)

So general thoughts on Bluesfest. I'll never buy another festival pass. I was seeing bands I didn't care about/know, just so I could justify the nearly $250 per ticket. I hated public transit and being squashed into a metallic tube with dozens of barely dressed teens was not conducive to sanity. I actually lost it and threw a gum filled lollipop while screaming "don't be such an asshole!". I wish I was kidding. Next time I'll just buy a one day pass and leave it at that.

TL;DR: I'm glad I went but I'm equally glad it's over.


Monday, July 11, 2016

A Day in a Life

Once again, I set a phone alarm to go off every hour but clearly the urge to get uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep won out a few times. This was Friday June 24th and you are going to see what a firecracker of a life I lead. Strap in...

Here I am at 11pm, playing a Candy Crush knockoff I can't even remember the name of.

At midnight decided I just *had* to pack for a dragonboat festival. It isn't for another 24 hours but I love make-work projects

1am festivities

Clearly not 2am judging from the sun streaming in. Obviously I missed a few alarms. I'm guessing around 6?


8am... so boring

Finally stirring at 9. I love summer!

Is it 10am? Must be time for a pedicure. One blue foot and one orange foot is my lucky look for dragonboat festivals

11am: Having breakfast and looking out the window with Wesley

Noon grocery shopping jaunt

1pm at the pharmacy

2pm: Still wandering

3pm on the way home with a loaded car

4pm: Groceries away and relaxing with the man of the house

5pm: Decided to bring Rosie out to play

6pm emergency! Audrey came to me practically in tears saying her epipen wouldn't fit in the purse we got her for grad Sunday. We zoomed to the Mall and got this in the first place we looked

7pm: Just making sure I have everything for tomorrow's festival

At 7:30 I asked Audrey to come unload the dishwasher. At 8pm I asked again. Louder.

9pm: I like having my grocery bags in the car so that I don't forget them when I get to the store. They make you pay $.05 for them now and I'm a cheapskate

10pm: Time to make dinner for tomorrow. I won't be home (or in any condition) to cook after paddling all day. Chili is on the menu

11pm: Emergency! Audrey needs advice on eye makeup techniques for prom. Don't worry! Mum to the rescue! I'm thinking darker in the contours...

12am: Multitasking 

1am: Scott and I watch Coronation Street on PVR. Oh Michelle... Why did you have to make out with Will? Steve is *pissed*! 

2am: Definitely loving summer hours. The cat hangs out with me until I fall asleep.

 Wow. Looking back on that, it was a pretty boring day. But you know what? I'd rather have a boring life sometimes than a roller coaster of an existence that you never get a break from. On second consideration, I loved my day and all the "boring" days like it.