Tuesday, May 31, 2011


It's so hot outside and I'm loving every minute of it. Scott asked if we should turn on the air-conditioner and I said no. Having it on feels like I'm standing in front of an open fridge. I actually need my Snuggie.What a waste of a stinking hot day.

The grass is green, the sun is good and roasty and as I type I'm being serenaded by the neighbourhood lawnmower symphony. I even have a dragonboat practice later to further enjoy the heat and watch the sun set over the river. Can life get any better?

***insert long, contented sigh here***


*** Today = AWESOME! ***

Monday, May 30, 2011

I had a job interview today

Actually it was a second interview. We did a telephone one first last week then she wanted to see me work this morning. The centre is so gorgeous and so organised. I had such a good time I forgot I actually had to be the teacher in the room and ended up playing. And I drew the coolest picture of a house with flowers and a tree then I pretended I was a lion than we had snack and then... where was I? Oh yeah, teaching. I did remember to read a story to the kids. One I brought from home. I decided against all the glossy, poetic, hard-cover story books and went for a favourite from when I was a kid. And score, it was "pet shop week" at the daycare so it fit right in.

Later during lunch one of the kids started to rub my skin.

Kid: What's that?
Me: What's what?
Kid (waving her finger all around me): Why are you all brown?
Me (trying and failing to think fast): It's the colour of my skin.
Kid: Are you brown everywhere?
Me (trying to remember she's 4 and not to repeat that really rude joke): Yup, everywhere but the bottoms of my hands and feet. I show her.
Kid: Why?
Me (thinking uh oh... do I want to go into a sociological, anthropological and geographical discussion here? And to be perfectly frank, I don't really even know myself): Um... because my parents were brown.
Kid: Okay. Can you open my juice box?
Me: You bet.

I love kids.


Friday, May 27, 2011

There is at least one in every single class

in every single school, on every single continent on the planet, every single year since 1977.

I was having a look at Elliott's yearbook and poring over all his classmates and who do I see? The very same kid who was in my class in 1984. The one with the thick glasses and pimply face. You know the one. He's got the crooked smile and wanted to write something original in the comments section instead of the typical "the future is ours" or "here's to a great tomorrow". He's the one who wrote:

May the Force be with you.

There's one in every class.


Thursday, May 26, 2011


Some of you know that I'm not a big fan of eggs. I pretty much only like them if I cook them myself. As I've gotten older I've been able to let that go a bit if I specify to the cook that he needs to scramble them hard. And when I say hard, I mean I'm not kidding, dry, "overcooked" and blackened. If there is anything the least bit runny about them they'll go untouched. So I rarely order eggs in a restaurant, just in case.

It took me years to even sit beside anyone who is eating a runny egg. I'd rather see an open heart transplant than watch someone crack the shell of a soft boiled egg and dip toast in the yolk. Or a sunny side up egg with the yolk gooshing all over the plate. Talk about an appetite killer. And don't get me started on brunches. Being surrounded by people gasping in ecstasy over their eggs Benedict which is nothing more than a half cooked egg with half cooked egg sauce on top makes me nauseous. I was going to post photos but I had to take a moment to settle my heaving stomach even during the image search so I opted not to.

*image too disgusting to post but picture a nasty dribbling egg right here*

So last night for dinner I thought I'd try pasta carbonara. Little did I realize that the creamy sauce in that dish is 4 eggs cooked only with the heat of the spaghetti. The gooey egg hater in me ran screaming from the kitchen and is still rocking in the fetal position in the corner. The let's-do-this adventure chef in me (who rarely visits btw) just mixed up the dish and served up practically raw eggs to my family. And you know what? It was gooood. But fresh parmesan cheese and a 1/2 pound of bacon can make anything go down easy, am I right?

You won't see me lapping up egg yolk puddles with a toast finger anytime soon (that still sounds like a scene from a horror movie) but I will make the carbonara again. Hey, it's a start...


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

*** Having a very hard time finding the awesome over the last 24 hours. I guess it's awesome that I had the foresight to shave my moustache and soul patch before I took that photo ***


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Blogger is being a douche (again)

Looks like I can only blog from my iPod. For some reason it's not accepting my password from my pc. At the risk of typing too much and being another candidate for "Damn You Autocorrect", I'm not blogging today. Have a great day and I hope blogger will smarten up by tomorrow in time for my uber popular and universally loved "Wordy Wednesday" post. See you then!


Monday, May 23, 2011

Victoria Day

There's nothing better than a long weekend. This one is so special because it's the unofficial start of the summer. People open up their cottages, the barbeque in the park and party. there are fireworks and the whole country has the day off. There is love in the air today. And pitchers of margaritas.

So far today I've slept in till 9am, went for a 5K run with Scott, ate some cookies and watched Maury. Okay, that last one is normal Monday stuff but you get the drift. Later we are going to have a barbeque of burgers and corn and I'll call a friend at some point to hang around with me. If she can't, I'll just sit in a chair in the sun and listen to my iPod. Hell, it couldn't get more perfect, could it?

Whatever you are up to today, enjoy it. I know I will. I've got to go. Those margaritas won't drink themselves.

*** Having your 18th wedding anniversary on the best weekend of the year = AWESOME ***


Friday, May 20, 2011

Flashback Friday

I've been so good about putting an "awesome" at the end of my posts for the last little while, my grouchy, curmudgeonly side hasn't had much of a chance to shine. To rectify that, here are some things that pissed me off at the end of August 2010. To be completely frank, most of them still piss me off. And to cancel it out:

*** Skipping a running day for no good reason and not feeling any guilt about it = AWESOME! ***

PS: The end of the world comes at around six tomorrow. Don't forget your toothbrush.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

I have a telephone interview today

As you all know Scott is on sabbatical from work for the next few months. As a direct result, I'm looking for work outside the house. I found a little gem of a daycare job not too far from here and the hours are so sweet (8:30 to 12:30) that I couldn't resist. That and the fact that I'd be spared the numerous "poke breaks" I've had to endure since Scott's been home made it impossible not to try.

Thing is I have to go through a telephone interview. I've never done this before. I usually shine in interviews. I sparkle and flash my megawatt smile. I charm and giggle and they love me. I love job interviews. Nine times out of ten the last 5 minutes are spent talking about shoes. I've never blown an interview.

The telephone is a different thing. I hate talking on the phone. I think too much, I get tongue tied and flustered. Just last week I was supposed to call the kids' school to tell them they had orthodontists appointments and I gabbled and stammered all the way through. At several points I had trouble remembering a) which kid I was calling about; b) what class they are in and; c) why I was calling in the first place. Pathetic.

Now this is important. I don't want to screw this up. I can just see myself babbling about the fact that I'm still in my jammies or that I'm due for a pedicure. I just need to calm down. Maybe I can talk to her from the tub. But knowing me, I'll tell her where I am. Ugh.

*** Walking through the livingroom barefooted and not getting anything stuck to my feet = AWESOME! ***


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Wordless Wednesday - Long Jump

So today Elliott had a track meet. Scott and I had some errands to run so we showed up in time to watch him compete in the long jump. In his words it was an "epic fail". He placed near the bottom but as always we're super proud he tried and I loved watching him. Here is my own "epic fail" when trying to catch him jumping. My excuse is that it was a shitty phone camera. You can just see him behind the guy in the fatigue hoodie. Actually it wouldn't have been such a bad shot if that kid wasn't standing there. Okay, yes it would.

And for the record, I'm just going to start calling this "Less-Words" Wednesday since I seem to be incapable of posting just a photo without a lengthy, exhaustive description. But I think it's usually fewer words than a usual blog so there you go.

*** Seeing a flower bloom in your garden that you didn't plant = AWESOME! ***


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Can something be too chocolatey?

I'm a woman. Hang on a sec, let me check for sure.................... yup, all chick. But I have to admit that I'm not crazy about chocolate. Don't get me wrong, I like it but if my doctor told me that for some obscure medical reason I couldn't ever eat chocolate again, I'd shrug my shoulders and grab another nacho out of my comically super-sized bag. I prefer savoury treats.

I'm a baker. I often make chocolate chip cookies if the family has been begging for them but I don't want to indulge. I'll try one, sometimes only having one bite of one cookie before passing it on to the drooling goofball beside me, But if I make a batch of sugar cookies or vanilla cupcakes, I turn into the drooling goofball threatening to bite the fingers off anyone whose fingers come close to me when I'm eating.

I usually find chocolate desserts to be a cop-out. If you go to a restaurant and order the "Death By Chocolate Tsumai Devastation" dessert, I always feel like the baker just made a cake and threw in the chocolate because it's easy to hide dry batter or poor flavour. The more times you use the word "chocolate" and add some kind of disaster or tragedy to the name, the easier it is the gloss over the fact that you don't really have any baking skills. It's just a chocolate Duncan Hines cake with chocolate frosting and hot fudge glopped on top. Try making your own lemon curd one day. Or batch of cinnamon rolls. That takes skill. I felt like Sue Sylvester, there...

Anyway, I don't know if you heard but there was a little royal wedding last week. I found out that the bride's cake was fruit (no haters... fruit cake rocks) and the groom's was a "chocolate biscuit cake" I was fascinated and I had all the ingredients at had so I thought I'd give it a shot. Oh my God. It was waaay too chocolatey. I took one bite and my pupils contracted into pinpricks. I didn't even want to eat the bite I took. Ugh. Who knew the future king had a girlishly large chocolate tooth? I mean menstrually large. The family liked it but I'll never make it again.

So do you like chocolate? What's your favourite dessert? Mine is Ruffles and onion dip. I'm curious to see how many people would prefer a trifle or a bowl of strawberries and whipped cream to a slice of chocolate cheesecake.

*** Flipping through the channels and landing on your favourite scene of a movie just in time = AWESOME! ***


Friday, May 13, 2011

Flashback Friday

Today is Elliott’s 15th birthday. For him it’s the ultimate flashback because he gets tortured with his long, gory birth story. I even showed him my c-section scar this morning. I couldn't tell if he was disgusted by the scar or the saggy belly (which I blame him for btw). At least the poor boy had the foresight to keep his breakfast down.

If you don’t know anything about Elliott, know this. He’s smart, loving, and has a winning smile. Also know that he is forgetful, perpetually bored, and constantly in a state of drowsiness.

He never takes responsibility for his actions and can be so frustrating sometimes, that I want to shove him down a flight of stairs. Not a tall winding set that would break his neck (what kind of mother would that make me?), just a few steps to shake loose some of the cobwebs.

That said, my awesome baby has a special day today and as much as he drives me crazy, I love him so, so much. In fact, I couldn’t stop hugging him this morning.

And he’s getting so mature. I tried to sing him Happy Birthday before he left for school but he wasn’t having it. I asked him what gift he wanted and he shrugged his shoulders and grunted. I’m the kind of person who goes crazy for birthdays. Mine is a week long “celebration of me”. Or I want it to be. So I have a chocolate cake cooling right now, nearly ready to frost and cut when he gets home (just before he takes off  to cadets for the weekend). Scott signed him up for archery lessons, which is something he mentioned a while back. And that’s it. Gone are the days of cardboard party hats, loot bags and 6 chubby little boys sleeping in one tent in the backyard.

My baby really is becoming a man. I know because his mustache tickled my face when he kissed me goodbye on his way to school. Sigh.

***Elliott Kaye = AWESOME! ***


Thursday, May 12, 2011

I like this feeling!

It's sunny outside and it'll be warm today. They're saying about 20C which is warm but still not as hot as I like. Anyway, a beautiful day. I feel very positive. I usually do but I'm almost giddy with it today. Here is a list of what's making me feel good today (including the sunshine):

  • One of my favourite eps of Doctor Who was just on (Family of Blood)
  • Scott went for a long drive 
  • Elliott is at a track meet, following in his mum's footsteps
  • My cake pops are getting a lot of attention on Facebook
  • As soon as I'm done here, I'm back in the kitchen to bake some chocolate chip cookies
  • My left buttock and right lower back are "good sore" after our first dragonboat practice Tuesday
  • I made the perfect cup of tea with just the right amount of steeping and sugar
  • I just plain feel good
I think I'll go sit out in the sunshine and read for a while and enjoy my mood while it lasts. Goodness knows how much longer. People will start arriving back home in a few hours.

*** today = AWESOME!***


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wordless Wednesday - Cake Balls

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Idle hands are the devil's playthings.


*** During dragonboat practice last night I endured an hour where lapfuls of barely above freezing river water splashed onto my lap. Wanna know what's truly AWESOME? Heated car seats. ***


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Audrey's hair follies

All my life I've had hair issues. The short version would be to go see the movie Good Hair by Chris Rock. See all the stuff that black women go through? That. Or you can just put in "hair" in the upper left search box from my  blogger homepage and see all the time I've devoted to just talking about hair.

I've often said that I got Audrey's hair to deal with for cosmic retribution for cutting all mine off. Hers is curly and unruly and gets easily matted. In all honesty, it's a colossal pain but I know not to say that in front of her. It was all positive, positive, positive. She has often said in the past that she loves her hair and she's glad that she's the only one with hair like hers in her class but last week I found her crying in her room.

I couldn't get much out of her but what little I did get had to do with her being tired of struggling with her hair and "pretending" to like it. I got the feeling that someone said something unkind about it.

I could have taken the hard way and talked and talked and talked until I was blue in the face, telling her that God (or whoever) doesn't make mistakes. I could have tried to work on her self esteem for weeks and months to get her to love her matted locks. But knowing me the way you do, you have to know that I took the easy way out. I went straight to the pharmacy and bought a couple of boxes of relaxer. Then I bought a blow dryer, a straightening iron and a fat barreled curling iron. I also bought a brush, some special conditioner, some kind of stuff to protect from heat damage and hair spray. Grand total: $200.

It took nearly the whole weekend but it went from this:

To this.

The smile on Audrey's face was worth every penny and every minute I spent with smelly goop on my hands. She's nearly 13 and at that age all you want to do is fit in. She'll probably learn to love her hair but not until she's an adult. You always want what you can't have and all she wanted was straight hair. I could give it to her and I did. It's taking me some time to get used to her hair the way it looks now but I'm coming around. All I have to remember is that my curly girly is still in there and she'll come back out when she's ready.

*** Sleeping in 90 minutes because I'm running later today for dragonboat warmup = AWESOME!***


Monday, May 9, 2011

I had a great day

Mother's Day was fun. And by "fun" I actually mean fun even though I spent the whole day with the kids. How evil am I that my first desire for a terrific Mother's Day equals 24 kid-free hours? They're the reason I get a special day in the first place, right?

Well yesterday I couldn't shake those darn kids so we visited Major's Hill Park for the Tulip Festival. There wasn't much going on so we stood in line 20 minutes for poutine (which was delicious and completely worth it by the way) then headed off to the market to wander. We went in and out of little cheese and fish shops and looked at all the cheesy jewellry in the stalls. Hey look, guys! Luchador masks!

Then we waited 20 minutes at the French pastry place that Obama visited years ago and pigged out on delicious patisseries before heading home. It was very enjoyable. Nobody whined about the cold or the walking, the day was gorgeous and we really did have a nice time.

Now onto Father's Day...

*** This morning on my run through the park I saw four goslings their parents. Tiny, clumsy, green fluffy goslings = AWESOME! ***


Friday, May 6, 2011

Flashback Friday

Mother's Day is coming up Sunday. Scott suggested a picnic with the kids and can I tell you how much I dislike picnics? Preparing the food, wrapping it tight, making sure you brought everything, driving to an iffy spot, sitting on the hard ground with no back support, alternately freezing and roasting, bugs in your stuff, seagulls squawking and stealing your cheesies... how is this better than a comfy restaurant where the kids can colour on the paper tablecloths and I can get my drink on?

We alternatively decided on a far more civilised walk through a park where there is a Tulip Festival going on and a quick snack at a chip wagon. Perfect.

So anyway, I thought that I'd post an oldie about Mother's Day and why it should really be a few times a year. At least they didn't make it in the winter...

Mums, have a terrific weekend. Enjoy your spoilage!

*** Going grocery shopping just to get out of the house = AWESOME! ***


Thursday, May 5, 2011


I've lived here all my life. In fact I've always lived within the same 200km radius.

I'm not very well travelled. I've been to Dominica (NOT the republic), New York, Jamaica, Delaware, Florida, Calgary, Belgium, Paris and London. I can speak French and I've never been to a place where it was difficult to get by in either language. I'd love for this to change. Most of the places I've been have been European versions of where I already live or cushy tropical resorts. There's nothing wrong with that at all but someday I want some travel adventure.

I'd like to visit a remote, faraway place where the locals rarely have exposure to people like us. I'd like to see sights that North Americans don't often get to see. Don't get me wrong... I don't want to cram my Louboutins into a backpack or go without makeup. And I do NOT want to poop in a toilet that is just a fly-covered hole in the ground. I want to shower every day and shop. But I'd like to do that shopping in a crowded, exotic market. I've never bartered before. I think I'd be good at it. And could you imagine looking out of your hotel window and seeing an elephant walking by or an ancient temple?

So have you ever been a fish out of water on holiday? Have you ever been a little scared or a little lost on a trip you've taken? Was it still fun? Have you ever had to communicate using sign language? Or knew one word in the local language and just yelled it over and over hoping they'd know you need to find the train station for the 4pm express? I'd love to hear some of your exotic travel stories. My extensive travel experience begins and ends at The Amazing Race so I'm living vicariously through you.

*** After the "spring" we've had, looking out my livingroom window and seeing actual sunshine (even though I know it's only 5C) = AWESOME!***


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Wordless Wednesday - Audrey's hair

I tried to straighten it with not one but two boxes of relaxer and this is what we got. Either her hair is as stubborn as all get-out or I can't read instructions worth a damn. I'm going for the first option.

This is what it looked like before:

And this is after:

It's easier to comb through, at least...

*** Running in the park at the crack of dawn (wondering why you're doing it because it's rainy and cold and too damed early) and seeing 2 great blue herons that aren't the least bit afraid of you so you can get a good, long, close look = AWESOME!  (and totally worth waking up)***


Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Having blog block today so instead of not writing anything at all, I thought I'd post my AWESOME!

*** Being able to do everything from adding to the grocery list to going to the bathroom all while using my electric toothbrush = AWESOME! ***


PS: While looking for a photo for this, I saw that I'm not the only person who thinks this is awesome! Which, incidentally is awesome. It's an awesome vortex. Have I said "awesome" enough?

Monday, May 2, 2011

If you don't vote you can't complain

There's a federal election today so I thought it would behoove me to blog about it today. I don't know much about this whole politics thing but I do know that I vote every election because people kill and die for the same right in other countries. Wouldn't it be an awful waste to not take advantage?  I voted for who I always vote for... no hints but I will tell you that I'm a red-blooded Canadian. I wasn't sure at first but I went to the CBC website, answered all the questions, and my results were incredibly clear. I'm not crazy about the leader but their policies and mine gel on every single level so I did what I had to.

Before you complain about how much time voting takes, let me tell you how long it took me. Ten minutes from the second I set foot out the door until the second I got back home. Admittedly, I left the house at 11am so it wasn't the busy time after work but I'm sure it couldn't be more than 30 minutes in all. I actually used a stopwatch to time myself.

11:06- I leave the house and walk over to the polling place which is in the gym of my kids' old elementary school. (3 minutes 41 seconds)
11:09- I show my card and id and I'm told where to stand. Two people are ahead of me and they're my across the street neighbours. We talk about the wet weather and they tell me how hard it was to find a particular nursery they wanted. When it's my turn they are asking me if I want a ride home. I say no... it's a 3 minute walk rain or no rain. I go behind the cardboard partition. (2:09)
11:11- I read all 4 names and parties carefully. I grab one of the 3 bankers pencils (no erasing!) and mark my "x". I give back the ballot and the woman behind the desk tears off a tab and returns it to me. I put it in the box feeling unbelievably superior. I did my civic duty. (0:44)
11:12- On my way out the door I see an old teacher of Audrey's and we have a chat about how she's doing now in middle school (Audrey, not the teacher). Then I walk home in the rain. I get back at 11:06. (3:44)

Total time to exercise my democratic right: 10:20.5. So do it. Go! It's important.