Monday, June 30, 2008

What do you do on the computer every day?

I'm on the computer about 40% of the day not including work. I go on IMDb a lot, check the weather, directions, tv listings, youtube, iTunes, etc. But there are certain things I do every single day. Here they are:

-Check my emails. I do this about 5 times a day. At least. Send me an email and I'l be sure to get it

-Play 2 trivia games. One with my friends on what I call my "boobie board" where I socialise with like-breasted women, and one with the computer friends I've known since 1997 when we were all pregnant with our June 1998 babies

-Visit abovementioned boobie and June98 bulletin boards

-Check Facebook


-Here's where it gets trippy and a scootch humiliating... I go on Webkinz. I play 2 games to get cash (Wishing Well 2, Wheel of Wow) and answer on question at Quizzy's for more money. Then I click "I love my webkinz" for free stuff. Sometimes I'll play a quick game of Cash Cow or Tile Towers if I have a lot of time.

So that's it. My daily computer usage laid bare. Take it as you will.


Friday, June 27, 2008

I’m not hot

Well, it looks like I'm not one of the beautiful people.

I've been hearing a lot lately about a website called where you send in your photo and members vote to see if you're pretty enough to socialize with them. Just for fun I sent in a picture. Members can vote: "Yes! Certainly!", "Hmm, yes ok", "Hmm, not really" and "No! Not at all!" As of today, with 22 hours left, my current status is "NOT voted in". Because most of my votes fell in the "No! Not at all!" section. Harsh.

Could it be that I'm Black? Eighty percent of the people on the site are white. Could it be that I'm too old? Why oh why did I admit that I'm 40? Could it be that I have a husband? Oops, I did admit that I'm happily married. Damn my honesty.

So it looks like I'm not what they're looking for. And if they're only looking for young, white, singles then I wish them all the luck in the world. They'll need it. Maybe I'll start a website for old married mothers looking for friendship. Oh yeah... that's practically everywhere else.


Thursday, June 26, 2008

Fed up to the back teeth

I have a bird feeder on the windowsill outside my livingroom window. I wanted to see the cool birds in our neighbourhood and so far it's been great. It's a nice way to have the birds practically in the house. I'm seeing some great ones too. We've seen sparrows, mourning doves, cardinals and blue jays. Gorgeous. We've even had the occasional mouse. Cute. What I can't stand are the squirrels. The damned effing squirrels.

I've stood by the window and sprayed them with water. I've tried to scare them away. I went online and found that they hate red pepper flakes and they don't hurt the birds. Imagine my surprise after dumping a whole container of the spice on the seeds and seeing the squirrel enjoying a spicy Cajun meal at my (and the birds') expense. Aaarrrggghhhh!

So any good ideas will be appreciated. I'm thisclose to spraying something a little more errr... caustic... than water on it the next time I see it. Do squirrels like rum? Ooooh what about a good blast of Raid? You can stop this, people. Just tell me what to do.


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Shame on me!

I'm really getting sloppy about posting these blogs lately. Is it because I've got nothing good to say? I've run out of ideas? After all, I've written on a weekdaily basis for something like 2 years. Maybe nothing interesting is happening to me and mine. Nope, not that either.

I'm just getting lazy. I can't really be bothered to write in the morning like I used to. Nothing serious, I'm just not feeling it. Then when I get home I get so caught up in the drama of dinners and kids and husbands that I don't think about blogging until around now. Sorry kids.

And I don't know what's going to happen over the next few months. Starting tomorrow and for the next week I'm working at the store from 4-8pm. So yes, I have the day "off" but I'm with the kids who are now home for the summer and I really need to clean up this tip of a house. But worry not, I'll definitely blog daily but I just can't guarantee what time. Let's say anywhere between 9am and midnight. Yeah, that should cover it.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Poor Scott

On Friday Scott played hockey. An ordinary occurrence to be sure but the poor man hobbled through our front door. Mr. High Pain Threshold was in agony. Why? He got checked against the boards at his lower back, mashing one of his discs so hard that he pinched a nerve. He tells me he can't feel his left leg from the knee down. Poor guy. He'll take a few steps, hunker down hands on knees and release a stream of curses so profane that it would humiliate a drunken sailor. Hey, but at least it's educational for the children. It's like having a Tourette's afflicted hunchback in the house. Poor guy.

My poor loving husband thinks he's 18 when he's on the ice. One of his favourite things to say after a game is some variation of "so-and-so said I was fast/good/amazing/unstoppable out there". Unfortunately his body is nearly 46 years old. I worry that he's doing too much.

So now he's had 2 days off work, appointments with our gp, physio and chiropractor, countless ice packs and $200 worth of drugs. Poor guy.


Monday, June 23, 2008

Dragonboat hangover

Look, I know it's late and this seriously could have been longer than it's going to be, considering my weekend and the events of today. But it isn't. Sue me. Never forget the blog title.

If you want to see photos of the absolutely wonderful (albeit somewhat damp) events, check them out on Facebook. I was on 2 teams: one woman's team (Gung Ho) and one mixed team (Bold Bald & Beautiful). The woman's team was a blast and we came in 5th overall but the BBB won me some bling. It's hard to justify preferring coming in 3rd in the G final to fifth but what can I say? I'm a strange cat.

I raced 8 races over the weekend with both teams. Some races were cut pretty close. Once I got off the water after a race, ran to the camp, changed my GH tee to a BBB tee and ran my ass off to that team who was already lining up to get in the boat. I almost threw up after doing 2 500m races back to back but I still managed to keep down my peanut butter and banana sandwich. But man, I was scared and reeeealllly cutting it close.

I will so do this again next year. In fact I can't wait and I'm sending out emails about it already. Even when I'm soaking wet to the skin, exhausted, starving, bedraggled and a bit stinky I still love it. Like mad. At one point during one race I started giggling like a fool even though I thought my arms would fall off and my back would never unwind. That must mean I adore it. And I do.


Friday, June 20, 2008

The coolest thing happened at work this aft...

I just had to mention it before I go to bed.

All day I had a weird feeling about the date. Then it dawned on me. My mother died on this date in 1995. I told this to the girls at work and I had a nice time describing her wonderful traits and funny memories about her. I even showed them my tattoo. After I was done, the dj on the radio played "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. It was her favourite song. I got the biggest goosebumps I ever had. I told the girls and I couldn't believe it but they started to cry. Which made me cry (I had previously been fine talking about her) and it was just an odd little bonding boohoo-fest in that dank basement. During one of the happiest songs ever written. Sometimes I think that basement has a gas leak. Either that or we were touched by an angel.


I’m at work right now

But I couldn't stop thinking of you all waiting patiently for my next missive so I stopped in real quick.

I want to wish you all a happy Friday and have fun this weekend whatever the weather and whatever you do. As for me, the weather is going to be sucky and I'll be stuck without my family all weekend on a soggy beach at the dragonboat festival. I'm not complaining. You know I love it.

I'll let you all know how I did on Monday.


Thursday, June 19, 2008

Feeling grumpy

Why? Woman issues. I don't need to elaborate. Last night I had the wettest, rainiest dragonboat practice in all my years of paddling. It was like taking a cold, fully dressed shower. Delightful. And for a while at the end I was sitting behind a particularly strong paddler who with every stroke dumped cold river water into my lap. Whoo. I couldn't skip practice since it was the last one before the festival on the weekend. That and even when I'm grumpy, pruney and soaked to the skin, I'll still grudgingly admit I love it. Feh.

When I got home I took everything I was wearing (including undies) and threw them in the dryer. Then I put on my cosiest bathrobe (should I mention that it's my only robe? The green one with no tie so it flops open humiliatingly? No? Okay.) and watched the last two dancers on So You Think You Can Dance. Then I fell asleep on the couch and woke up with a cough. Good times. Good, grumpy times.


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Famous again

So I got a call from my good friend Lisa. She and I acted together in college. That, incidentally, was my pretentious sentence of the day. Anyway, a few years ago we collaborated on a commercial and, hey... I did it again.

Actually she works for the Chicken Farmers Of Canada and all she had to do was ask me to do this. Me being the glory whore that I am, volunteered my family and myself not to eat chicken, sit perfectly still and not touch anything for hours. Seriously, it was a lot of fun. Here's the outcome. It'll be played on CBC for the month of July so I again expect not to be recognised on the street. Don't blink...


Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Ten years ago I gave birth to my first and only daughter. She's funny, cute and helpful. That is, when she's not whiny, moody and petulant. Which makes her happy moods all the more special. As my only estrogen-laced ally, I need her to counter-balance the testosterone that freely flows through this house. When the boys go to monster truck rallys, airshows or hockey games, me and my little ally go shopping or do each other's toenails. We can be girly together.

And to think before having kids, a baby girl was a scary prospect. I was a tomboy myself and working at daycares really cemented the fascination I had for little boys. When I took photographs, boys were always featured, boys were always my favourite kids. Girls were sneaky, cliquey and just plain mean. I wanted very little to do with them. Then I had one of my own. After the abject terror subsided a few years later, I realized it'd be all right. Thank goodness. Since Audrey was born I've worn more pink and skirts and discovered a love for sky-high heels. I'm not embarrassed to be girly. In fact I love it. I really want to thank her for that.

For her birthday I'm finding it very easy to shop for her. All she wants is clothes, earrings and Webkinz. How easy (and cheap) is that? I'm often flummoxed when it comes to buying gifts for the boys. Incomprehensible card and board games, violent video games, nerf things... with Audrey it's easy. Pink, frilly, accessories, books. If I love it, so will she. I have a mini-me and I love it.

And just a sidebar, I've finally come up with the perfect way to make her hair presentable. I'm delighted with the way it came out and just in time for her birthday bbq tonight, too. Look how cute it is...


Monday, June 16, 2008

Now that Father’s Day is done, I’ve got a birthday to plan

Scott had a nice day yesterday. He had pancakes for breakfast, got a magazine and a book and got to tinker with his motorcycle all morning. Then he took the boys to a monster truck rally and played hockey at night. All in all, a perfect dad type day. The only thing he didn't get to do was fly.

Today I make Audrey's birthday cake, buy her a gift, card and prepare for the bbq to be held in her honour tomorrow night. I've somehow got to do this around dragonboat practice tonight. Thank goodness for 24 hour stores. Whew. Tell me again how this mum gig is a cinch...


Friday, June 13, 2008

I love YouTube

There's nothing better than wandering around that place discovering new videos. Look what I found. This little kid is coooooool (note the extra o's). I want one like this. Mine are so boring...


Thursday, June 12, 2008

This is pretty late, eh?

I know you sit waiting patiently for blogs from yours truly but today was weird. Audrey was sick so I had to take the day off work. "But Karen", you say, "if you were home all day you could have fulfilled our bloggy needs!".

"Nope," I reply "thanks to the joys of technology, I was without both phone and internet all day."

So anyway, with that said, here's the video blog of the day. Let's just say I used to love the Flintstones...


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Another video

Okay, it kinda looks like a video week so let's make it official, shall we? This song is one of my favourites this summer. It could be the happy Cure-like clapping sound throughout, it could be the pop-y sound, it could be the B-52s style girl/guy thing, It's just a snappy song. If you can listen to the whole thing without moving or smiling, I don't want to know you. The band is Alphabeat and they're from Denmark.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Today I'm a bit frantic. Henry has a doctor's appointment and it's early so please enjoy the SNL video that made me giggle this weekend.


Monday, June 9, 2008

I love Ottawa

I was recently reading an article about Alanis Morissette that mentioned she's from Ottawa. Because this is the capital of Canada, this city is full of civil servants, government workers and high techies. It got me to wondering which internationally famous people are from this town. It'll be a learning experience for all of us. I'm off to google.....

So, this is what I got in about 15 minutes: Tom Green, the abovementioned Alanis, Paul Anka, Dan Ackroyd, Lorne Greene, Peter Jennings, Rich Little, Norm MacDonald, Sarah Chalke, Jesse Palmer (an idiot Bachelor), Matthew Perry (my favourite Friend), Alex Trebek, Steve Yzerman, Karsh and even Tom Cruise lived here for about 15 minutes. Pretty cool, eh?


Friday, June 6, 2008

Look what I made!

I'm starting to make cakes for friends and I'm enjoying it a lot. Except for this last one because I had a cold yesterday and I felt a bit rushed but it was still fun. That's exactly why I couldn't do it as a full-time gig. This is for my former co-worker Jackie's son Calum. The picture is of a Pokemon called Eevee.

I'm charging her $35 which is pretty good compared to the local cake shop that does cakes like this (and way, waaaaaaay better). Their plain cakes start at $40 and go up from there for designs. Just for fun I broke down the real costs for me to bake one of these cakes. What with ingredient costs, labour, computer research, travel to the cake shop to buy boxes etc., it costs about $60! Isn't that crazy? I couldn't in good conscience charge that. So it's $35 for friends and $45 for strangers. Not that I've gotten anyone but friends anyway. Just wishful thinking I guess.

So who wants cake?


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Experiment didn’t work

Looks like my pop culture experiment didn't work yesterday. Turns out I only had 27 hits at 11:45 last night. Oh well. The quest for fame, fortune and readers continues...

So last night was the Stanley Cup final with Detroit winning the coveted trophy. Want to know why I love this game? Watch this video. Hockey is the only sport I can watch without having investment in either team. It really is glorious. Of course soccer can't be beat for the gorgeous bodies...


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

An experiment

I want to try something if you'll indulge me. I notice when I talk about American Idol or some such trifling nonsense, I get tons of hits on here. On average, I will get about 30 hits a day but on those special pop culture extravaganzas, I'll get up to 100. My blog is probably acessible through some kiddie search engine that brings unsuspecting pop tarts to my evil lair. Mwahahahaha. So I'd like to try something. Ready?

Lindsay Lohan, Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson, Perez Hilton, Bo Diddley, Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, Hannah Montana, Britney Spears, Nick Hogan, Kim Kardassian, Kelsey Grammer, Tatum O'Neal, Clay Aiken, Zac Efron (just because I like him... he's got nothing going on right now), Sex and the City, Detroit Red Wings, Yves St. Laurent, Gina Gershon, Indiana Jones... that should do it.

Right now I have 6 hits. I'll let you know how many more I get before I go to bed.

Happy Hump Day.


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I’m exhausted

I watched hockey last night. Now let me clear up that I'm still a Senators fan and even though they're out, the final game of the Stanley Cup could have been last night. Unfortunately it wasn't and I had to wait 3 overtimes and until nearly 1am to find that out.

As I touched on, the Sens are out of it and have been for some time. But I'm shamelessly addicted to the homo-erotic display that goes on when one of the teams has won their ultimate trophy. The sweat, the body piling, the yelling, the hugging, the hoisting of a giant, usually metallic phallic symbol aloft... how could you not love that? Even though my team is out, I'll watch 2 strange teams to see this display. I'll even watch the very end of playoff games I've never watched before. Cricket, basketball, softball, I'm talking to you. So that's why I stayed up waaay past my bedtime last night. But I got no gratification. The team I thought would take it last night didn't so I was denied. No greco-roman wrestling with skates on for me.

Just a sidebar because I know you're curious, I'm rooting for Detroit. This is how my allegiances lie:

1) Ottawa Senators
2) Montreal Canadiens
3) Any Canadian team
4) Any Original Six team


Monday, June 2, 2008

Dirty weekend

And I have photos. No, they aren't that bad. Just an evening away in a hotel to celebrate our 15 years of marriage. We would have done it last week but there was that pesky marathon to obsess about. It was wonderful to have 2 meals in a row without cooking or having to cater to the bizarre and often declasse whims of children (Parmesan cheese on sticky rice? Oy...)

So we had 2 really nice meals and a cosy little room in a converted mill beside a rushing waterfall. At one point after the palate cleanser and before the main course I commented that we probably shouldn't be wolfing down our fancy french food like we had 5 minutes to live. There's no one to snatch food off our plates here. About that time is when we started missing the kids. What can we do? We love those savages.

So it was really nice to be a couple again for the first time since 2005 even if it was for about 24 hours. So what if it was raining for most of the time? It was actually just like our wedding day. Rainy, cool and lousy. See, that old adage is true. Rain is lucky on a wedding day. We're living proof.