Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Busy Halloween day over here. I got all the kids ready for their Halloween parties complete with cookies and costumes. I just picked them up and Audrey brought back all her cookies because her teacher only wanted "healthy snacks". Hmph. If I'd known I'd have saved myself the pain-in-the-ass of baking all day yesterday and the day before. I was impressed with his "Mr. Bergstrom-ness" but now I've gone off him. Again I say hmph.

After I got the kids off to school I went to the gym then visited with a new friend Steph. Great girl, gorgeous house. I'm definitely playing an extra set of lottery numbers this week.

When I got home I baked a cake in the shape of a pumpkin and made another batch of caramel corn (I'm actually still working on that). I'm getting grumpy, I wore my horns all day and they're getting itchy. And we haven't even gone out yet. I'm starting to feel like my profile photo. Save me.


Monday, October 30, 2006

It's pronounced "mo-RISH-us".

The Amazing Race was on last night and one of their destinations was Mauritius. Off the coast of Africa near Madagascar. Home of the Dodo. Am I alone here? Yes, I had a friend in high school from this gorgeous country (Hi Ichelle!) but am I the only one who's heard of this country? Well me and Elliott, anyway? And face it, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer and he is in grade 5

My son and I watched as team after team got the clue and read it aloud. We tittered then giggled then howled as 10, yes, TEN people had the most creative pronunciations for Mauritius I've ever heard. The only ones to get it right was the final team. Coincidentally they were male models who met in rehab. Will wonders never cease?
I have the offenders on tape saying:
1) mo-RASH-ius
2) mora-TI-us
3) mo-RID-ius
4) mo-REACH-us
5) mo-RUCH-us

That's 5 different pronunciations, 5 teams and 10 different people. I was shocked and highly amused.

They were even asking to buy tickets to the place using those mangled pronunciations. If I was the ticket agent I'd have sent them all over hell's half-acre. Hee.

Now I'm not saying we have to know the GNP, population and capital city of every country on the planet but I honestly thought that Mauritius was more well known than that. Especially when Elliott knew how to pronounce it and what their flag looked like. Okay, that last one wasn't fair. I had to take his word on the flag thing until I could Google it. And he was right. He's "Rainman" when it comes to flags.

Anyway, the whole thing made for a riotous evening. Even Scott had to come up and ask what was going on. And better yet, Elliott and I had a great bonding moment. So thanks, racers. Oh, and it's "mo-RISH-us". Just so you know.


Friday, October 27, 2006

I'm tired of your ads

I love American tv. I spend the bulk of my day watching American tv. "Heroes" is my absolute favourite new show of the season. An amazing example of the deliciousness of American tv. I even love the commercials. In fact, I laugh every time I see the one with the people whose credit cards have been stolen speaking in the voice of the thief. The big sweaty black man singing an awful version of "Unbreak My Heart" is a particular fave. But I hate your ads during an election year.

We get your political attack ads and they are terrible. They're mean, unflattering and worse yet, they only tell you NOT to vote for. Ummmm... what about the issues of the candidates you want to vote for? How are people going to find out the way their candidate thinks? Read a paper?

Sorry to tell you but more people watch tv. If I was voting (and there is a mayoral election in Ottawa next month... can't wait) I'd be looking to my television to hear and see my candidate tell me what he/she is going to do for me and my community. Seeing them bash each other would just make me want to not vote at all. It's so irritating. You know what would make this a lot more fun? A cage match. Stick all the candidates in a cage and let them fight their way out. Then the ads would make more sense because it would be like pro wrestling. And who doesn't like a good steel cage match?


Thursday, October 26, 2006

I don't like Halloween and it's my parents' fault

I try to get into it but I hate decorating. I think it's a waste of money. I also hate the idea of kids going door to door and (usually impolitely) demanding candy. Some don't even say "trick or treat" they just hold up their greedy little bags. And don't get me started on when those 14 year olds ring the bell after 9pm wearing half-assed costumes and looking all menacing. And I don't mean the costumes.

This is all my parents' doing. My West Indian dad was dead set (no pun intended) against the "begging" aspect of Halloween. Not to mention his ultra Roman Catholic wrong-thinking that the whole day was about the devil and evil. So we'd hide in the darkened basement and wait until the doorbell stopped ringing. On the rare occasion that we did give out something, it was pennies and/or apples. Yes, we were that family.

I've never been able to get into Halloween since then. When I hit high school I got invited to parties but my indifference toward Halloween never lifted. I never tried to win the costume contest... I barely wore a costume at all. I was a nurse one year because my mum was a nurse and there were few a uniforms in the closet. I've gone dressed as a boy and worn my brother's clothes. Once I tried to go as a hooker... daisy dukes, shirt tied in a knot, high heels and fishnet stockings and my parents refused to let me leave the house. Now I get it. Then? Not so much. A few years ago I was a devil. All I did was wear a cape and horns over a sexy black dress. See? No effort.

I try because of the kids. They get so excited. But I just can't muster up any enthusiasm for buying a bunch of chocolate for ungrateful neighbourhood kids wearing superhero costumes under their snowsuits and toques. Superheros don't get cold, do they?

My kids keep begging me to put up decorations like the neighbours but I just can't. I just don't care. They're lucky we even buy and carve a pumpkin. I don't even like to take them trick-or-treating. It's usually freezing and/or drizzling. I use the old "if-I-go-out-with-you-all-there'll-be-no-one-here-to-give-out-treats" ruse. It works every year. And for that they can blame their grandpa. Thanks, dad.

I just have to let it be known that I'm wholly impressed by those who love Halloween. The people who dress up to hand out candies, who make "victims" walk through their "haunted" houses and who set up the screams-and-scary music cd. I just wish it was me. I think I may put dry ice in my jack-o-lantern this year. See, I can grow.


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Two entirely unrelated topics today

I wanted to give a shout-out to extra strength Easy Off oven cleaner. If you can get past the noxious fumes and the fact that I needed an entire bottle to clean the 8 years (yes, you read that right) of oven crud, it's the best thing since sliced bread. Only don't cook too soon after you use it. Your oven will smoke. But honest to God, I've never in my life seen the oven at #29 look so fantastic. I can tell I'm going to be a freak about keeping it that way.

Topic number 2: I applied for a job this afternoon. It's at a consignment shop so the hours are super flexible. They have to be because I can't work when the kids are off school and only between 9:30am and 2pm because I have to drop off and pick up said kids. They seemed okay with that. And why not? When I went there to drop off my swiss cheese-like resumé (I haven't had a proper job since before the turn of the century) there must have been over 500 plastic garbage bags full of kids' clothes to sort through. If I get this job, I'll be able to come and go as I please. Which is definitely a plus to any job I'd enjoy. So wish me luck. Well, I think I want luck, anyway... frankly I'm still on the fence about this whole job outside the home thing.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Sad news

Okay, more for me than for you. I went to the dentist this morning and I have 2 cavities. And 3 old ones need to be replaced. I hate going. I had to put off making the final appointment.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm terrified of the dentist. I go to a special woman in town who sedates me for almost everything. I can get through a cleaning (although the scraping freaks me out) but when it comes to anything involving a needle? All bets are off. I'm okay with watching operations on tv and even donating blood but anything to do needles or scalpels to eyes or mouths is off limits. And you need a needle for cavities. Wah.

The good thing is that I'll have some of my old silver (now black) fillings replaced with tooth coloured ones. I'm fed up with laughing and my kids asking why my teeth are rotten. Those fillings are older than both my babysitters put together. Unfortunately the dentist is only redoing 3 cavities. Out of 12. What can I say? The 70s were a renaissance for my candy discovery. Wax Lips, Pixie Stix, Pop Rocks, Sip Sacs to drink (remember those from Perrettes fellow Quebeckers?)... I was weak.

If I ask, my dentist would actually give me an IV in order to fill my cavities, but pride (and price) made me go for "just" the laughing gas. Besides, to coin a phrase, it's a gas. It makes you feel super loopy. You should try it. Awesome stuff. Huh. Maybe I should make that appointment. And the sooner the better. There's nothing like being high as a kite in the middle of the day. Well, gotta fly. I've got an appointment to book.


Monday, October 23, 2006

Time waster of the week

It's like a safari right in your living room. Here's the link to Pete's Pond and I'll see you tomorrow.

Seriously this watering hole is incredibly addictive. It's a camera trained on a man-made watering hole in Botswana Africa. So far I've seen lions, warthogs, impala, giraffes, crocodiles, buffalo, guineafowl... I'm dying to see an elephant on here but I never get on at the right time. Also monkeys. I never see monkeys.

But otherwise, it's so great. It's interesting to see the different animals that come to this place. Of course like any red-blooded human being, I'd also like to see some mating and some brutal attacks but so far no such luck.

I've found that the best times to watch are before school (making us late almost every morning) and after midnight. At those times I've seen more than one kind of animal at a time herding to share a drink. Amazing. Go see for yourself.

Oh, and don't forget to use the handy dandy animal gallery feature to identify the animals you see. It saves you from the embarrassment of yelling out: "Kids! Come see the horsey deery buffalo thingies on the computer!!" when you actually mean "Children, a Blue Wildebeest herd has just made a sojourn to the watering hole." See how much better that sounds?


Friday, October 20, 2006

What's your favourite car?

I don't mean right now, but when you were a kid. The favourite car that your dad owned. The one you went on trips in?

Mine is definitely my dad's 1971 Chevy Chevelle. It was brand new off the lot (Daddy never bought used), silver with navy blue leather interior. Boy do I ever look back fondly at that car. We went on tons of car trips in it. Toronto for Jump-up, Ausable Chasm to hang at the beach and Plattsburgh New York for shopping. I spent many hours in that car trying to keep my brother Mike's drooling head off my shoulder since he fell asleep within 10 minutes of any car trip. If you know him, ask him how most of his adult car accidents happened.

When he was awake we used to play this game where we'd lightly put pencil to paper and seismically graph the road with every bump. Hey, this was 1970s Quebec and the roads were bumpy enough for this to be fun. Who needed a dvd player?

Like me, my parents weren't ones for kids music so it was Daddy's 8-track tape player all the way with Dionne Warwick or Sam Cooke playing. To this day hearing "I'll Never Fall In Love Again" or "Chain Gang" without thinking about sitting behind my mum on the right side in the car. Because that was my seat. Mike and I never swapped.

The little back window didn't go down all the way and we had no a/c so we used to swelter in that car. There was a hump in the middle on the floor between my brother and me. The front seat was one long "couch". Which was good because it meant that my dad couldn't reach when he tried to stretch behind him to smack us when we were misbehaving. He hated when we made tire skid noises when he turned corners. Among other things. A lot of other things. He reached back at us a lot.

I just loved that car. Back then it seemed like a frumpy "dad car" to me but looking back at photos it sure was a cool ride. My dad painted it gold one year because silver was "second place" and it never was the same after that. If I ever got the opportunity to buy a vintage car, that would be the one. A silver one with blue interior, of course. So what's your favourite car?


Thursday, October 19, 2006

OMG, this is getting ridiculous

Someone brought my attention this article and I had to comment. Are you kidding me? Banning TAG? Come on, people. Most kids've never heard the terms "mailman", "policeman" or "fireman", they can't throw snowballs once their fort is built or give someone else a "snowjob". Soon they'll know nothing about Pluto and they can't bring peanut butter sandwiches to school. Now they can't play tag? Tag? Give me a break.

I don't even know where to start when it comes to complaining about this one. Things have gone way too far if the kids can't even run around at recess. What about all the big talk about obese children? They should be happy that kids want to get off their supposed fat asses in the first place. I predict that in 10 years, they'll call recess "independent learning block" and kids will have to spend it sitting quietly in the library. Poor things.

I think this is all about supervision in the schoolyard. I know that the majority of teachers have breaks or lunches during recess so the adult/child ratio is much higher. Fewer Adults + Tons Of Kids Running Around + An Accident = Law Suit. I get it. But banning tag? Teachers definitely need a break during their long day but there's got to be a better way.

And the final quote in the article:
"I've witnessed enough near collisions in the playground area", D'Elia said. "I support anything that makes the playground safer and helps teacher to keep track of them."...

I'm thinking her child may be one that needs homeschooling. The umbilical cord apparently doesn't extend as far as the school. Honey, "Near Collisions" + Kids = FUN. It's what you may have had before that stick got firmly lodged up your butt. "Near collisions" can only be avoided by a kid playing alone in a rubber room. You just can't keep kids from getting bloody noses and skinned knees. It's their job. You may as well ban fun.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I got nothing.

I've put off blogging until now because, frankly, I have nothing interesting to say. Okay no jokes about that not stopping me before. Maybe I'll do some free-association blogging:

Um, today I had the car and Scott took the bus to work. I ran some errands including dropping some stuff off at the Sally Ann. I went to Lee Valley Tools which is a store that caters to woodcarvers. Weird, I know, but it's not my fault. They sent a catalogue to the house and unfortunately I looked through it. In among the chisels and rasps, they had pretty cool gadgets.

Unfortuantely for our bank account that is. I finally found the measuring cups I'd been looking everywhere for. Metal ones that include 2/3 and 3/4 measures. Also, I bought a ring on a chain that's also a sundial. How cool. I fell in love with the story. Too bad it's a cloudy day.

So when I came home I wanted to try out my new measuring cups so I made chocolate chocolate chip cookies, Rice Krispies squares and a batch of blueberry muffins. Now Frasier's on (I wanted to name Elliott "Fraser" but Scott didn't like it) and in 5 minutes I'm going to go get Audrey, Elliott and Brad (my daycare kid) at school. That's about it for now. Boring eh? Welcome to my life today.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

So the other night we were watching tv

at the dinner table (is there something wrong with that?) and a commercial for Cialis comes on. I guess that's the something. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Cialis is like Viagra. The ad was the one where a couple is entering a theatre during an opera just as the final notes are being sung. They sit down just in time to applaud. Funnily enough the note that the female singer holds is disturbingly similar to... well... you get the picture.

Anyway, Elliott, said "I don't get it" as he often does when watching ads. We're usually happy to explain, after all, that's what they mean by "parental guidance" and all that crap. But a), it's dinnertime and b), it's for Cialis. I mutter "uh oh" to Scott under my breath.

Of course Audrey and Henry join in... "I don't get it either! I don't get it either!". Great. We have a situation developing. I try with "Oh, the couple is just late for a show. Want some fries?". Of course, they didn't drop it. "But what made them late?" Um. Er. Ahhh...

The brilliant Scott comes up with "They were playing pile-up and they lost track of time". Pile-up is a game that Scott and the kids play on our bed where he lies down on his back and the kids literally pile up on him. Like getting pinned in wrestling. Lots of screaming and laughing ensues. When he said this I literally had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from howling. I was doing fine until Audrey pipes up "There's nothing wrong with being late if you're playing pile-up, is there Daddy?" That was it. I laughed until juice came out of my nose.

I love dinnertime at my house.


Monday, October 16, 2006

Time-waster of the day

Two words: Chad Vader. I've been giggling like a little girl all morning. Watch all 4 episodes and tell me how you like them. Enjoy.


Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the 13th

"Da Da DAAAAA!!!!" as Audrey likes to say. Is anyone really afraid of today? I wish I could have the luxury of being superstitious and stay in bed all day but nope. Gotta live. Got stuff to do.

I remember in college (what little I do remember that is) we'd have parties every Friday the 13th. Just to give the one fingered salute to the day. Not that we needed an excuse to party but Graham G's F13 parties were legendary. And that's all I'll say on the subject. Mostly because I don't remember much. I do have an image in my mind of a guy in a diaper but that could be something else.

So besides the excitement of the 13th and last Series of Unfortunate Events book "The End" coming out and The Grudge 2 coming out in theatres (I'd need to be heavily sedated and wearing that aforementioned diaper first), ain't nothing going on but the rent. So, are you superstitious? What do you do or don't do? The salt thing? The holding your breath at the cemetery thing? Knock on wood? Let me know. I'm curious.

kxx (BTW, I do all of the above)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

My boys share their underwear

Is that a bad thing? It isn't strange to me but I mentioned it in passing to someone and she was totally grossed out.

Here's my thinking: they share a room and a chest of drawers. They're also the same size. When they throw their dirty gonchies in the hamper, it's not like they go digging in there the next day to get new, they just look in their underwear drawer full of clean laundry. So what's the big deal?

If I had thought about it at shopping time I'd have bought one colour for Elliott and another for Henry but I didn't. So suck it. They'd still share the same drawer, anyway, so where's the problem? Am I a freak? Should I be causing undue stress on myself by separating their undies? I just don't get it. It's one thing if they're strangers or college roommates but they're little kid brothers. I just don't understand her reaction. Should I be more disgusted by this?


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

My husband is the absolute best

Scott's lying in bed with an ice pack on his goolies right now reading an airplane magazine. Yup, the "procedure" is all over and he came through it like a champ. He never whined or complained. And this whole thing was all his idea. He never even seemed nervous. Not even after having to shave said goolies with a disposable razor. Dry. I'm so proud of him. He even took me out for a pub lunch afterwards.

I should have made him do this vasectomy thing years ago. Maybe we should have one done once a month. A week off, lunch out and leaving me alone for a few hours to blog to boot? Hm. Now I'm thinking once a week.


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Do you ever have one of those moments?

Over the weekend I had a moment. A moment of perfect happiness. I'm not talking sex or a lottery win. It was just an everyday moment where everyone was doing everyday things and I stopped for a minute and thought to myself how perfectly content I was.

It's never happened before and it should have. I've done these things before. I guess the difference was that I stopped to notice it.

I was baking cookies and Audrey was reading a book about bats aloud to Henry. Elliott was on the computer playing a racing car game and I could hear Scott walking around on the roof. That was it. I stopped putting the dough on the cookie sheets and I couldn't believe how elated I was. I felt almost high.

It was almost like a deja vu feeling... it was gone in an instant but it left a really warm gooshy glow that's still hanging around.

So I wish to everyone some warm-fuzzies today. Just stop and look around at some point. You may be high on life and not know it. What a waste that would be.


Monday, October 9, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

To get out of blogging today and to let Henry play on the computer like he wants, I'm using a messageboard post I wrote last week. It's what Oprah likes to call a "Lightbulb Moment" in my life. Read and learn.

"Did I ever tell you about the day I knew I wouldn't be a cool mum? The kind of mum that takes their kids everywhere and doesn't let them cramp their style? After the following experience, I knew that that's what kids do. They cramp your style. It's their job.

When Elliott was 2.5 and Audrey was 2 months old, I misguidedly took them to a Violent Femmes concert. It was horrifying. What the hell was I thinking? Elliott spent the night with his hands over his ears screaming "IT'S TOO LOUD!!!" as I tried in vain to nurse Audrey in my seat. Surprisingly she was too distracted to latch on. Everyone around me was smoking something suspect. Finally I had to feed Audrey in a small, dingy bathroom where young, pierced punk girls with black lips and nails looked at me as if I had my boobs hanging out. Um, wait a sec. I did.

The rest of the concert had a lovely and indulgent Scott pacing the lobby of the concert hall with both kids while I ran in and out, alternately watching the show and checking to see if everyone was all right. To paraphrase Comic Book Guy: Worst. Concert. Ever.

Lesson learned. Kids change your life."


Friday, October 6, 2006

Remember my chicken ad?

I was reading a message board post and a blog by two different friends this morning mentioning the avian flu and related conferences which reminded me about the "chicken ad" that my family and I did in the summer to promote poultry eating in Canada. Now that Thanksgiving is upon us Canadians, I think it behooves (don't you just love that word?) me to blog about it.

Not all of you have seen the commercial that ran on the CBC a couple of weeks running up to Canada Day so I thought I'd link to it here for your viewing pleasure. Please note that the bizarre facial expression I have at the very end was after 2 hours of passing a fricking salad bowl around and being told to look "satisfied". How could I look satisfied with Elliott saying "this is BORING" on one side of me, Audrey swatting bugs on the other and Henry touching all the silverware and wrecking the "continuity"? And with all that chicken in front of us, we were hungry, too.

Don't get me wrong I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It was cool to see how ads are made but the kids had me worried the whole time. I have to say they really were amazing, though.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to us Canadians. I'm doing up a lovely turkey with roasted potatoes, cranberry apple stuffing, broccoli, macaroni and cheese (a weird tradition passed down from my mum's table) and my famous cinnamon rolls for dessert. I love it. My sweatpants are all ready to go. Monday's a holiday but I may emerge from my food hangover to do a bit of blogging. See you.


Thursday, October 5, 2006

Scott is such a manly man

He took the last few days off work. Why? To relax before his "procedure"? No. To run errands? Not a chance. He's re-shingling our roof. Alone. Instead of putting his feet up and reminiscing about his swimmers' glory days, he's up a 12 foot ladder with a couple of snow shovels to strip the roof. At least he has the foresight to tie a rope around his waist.

Don't get me wrong. He's completely capable of doing this. He'll do it quickly and he'll do it well. He's an engineer technologist with a good head on his shoulders but I just wish he knew how to relax. He's incapable of sitting quietly and doing nothing. TV makes him crazy unless it's the news. The radio always plays "three chord wonders". Fiction of any kind makes him snort saying that real stories are far more interesting and actually happened so that makes them much more worth hearing about.

We went to Jamaica a few years ago for a friends wedding. I sat and drank in the sun. Shopped and gambled a bit. He had to be doing manly things. Snorkelling, sailing, hiking, exploring. We compared stories in the evenings. Mine were always the same. One of his involved a near-death experience on a catamaran with a 16 year old lunatic sailor named "Psyche". The longest time he sits still is when he's driving, motorcycling or flying. Yes, an airplane. He's a small craft pilot. Didn't I tell you he's a manly man?

I just think it'd be a treat to hire someone to do this. Someone who'll bring a couple of guys and have this done in 2 afternoons. But Scott can't hire people to do something he can do himself. It won't ever happen. Even if I have to spend the next four days with 9 and 1 dialled into the phone with my finger hovering over the final 1, anxiously looking out my livingroom window waiting for him to fall past it.

I can't wait until his "procedure" when he'll spend a week in my world. The world of the relaxed. The dare-I-say-it? Lazy. Of course he'll have a bag of peas on his goolies and be moaning like a baby but he'll be all mine.


Wednesday, October 4, 2006

"Just because you're happy doesn't mean that everything's perfect. It just means that you've chosen to see beyond the imperfections"

I just heard that saying on the radio today and I thought it was really profound. I'm not usually one for sayings but that one really resonates with me for some reason.

I think it's because I'm a happy, positive person. That doesn't mean that my kids don't drive me batty some days, that I don't have the odd money problem, that most days I can't find anything to wear in my crammed-full closet, that the school shootings lately have been pissing me off, that I honestly just now put my socked foot in something gooey on my floor (gross), no, it just means that I can see past these crappy things. I can put my blinders on, ignore the depressing and focus on the fact that good, bad or indifferent, the above is excellent blog-fodder. My family and I are in excellent health, Elliott got a perfect score on his last spelling test, Audrey has a cute (and clean) shirt on for picture day and Henry loves his new teacher and class. Oh yeah, and Scott's getting his vasectomy next Wednesday. So how on earth can I be unhappy?


Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Congratulations Auntie Shelley and Uncle Phil!

My sister- and brother-in-law's apple orchard Mountain Orchards has recently been named "Best Orchard" in the Ottawa Valley. How's that for connections? We were there a few weeks ago and we really enjoy it when we go. In fact I still have a ton of apples from the last trip.

Mountain Orchards has a corn maze, a place where kids can roll around in the straw, a wagon ride to the orchard itself to pick your own apples, a really nice playground, fresh pressed cider, jams, jellies, syrups in the store and apple cider doughnuts made hot on demand and coated with cinnamon sugar. Kill me now. So great.

I love Shelley and Phil so much and I'm so proud of them. People had to email the tv station to vote for them and apparently they won by a landslide. And deservedly so. So if you want to go, time is short. The seasons ends on Thanksgiving Weekend. And if you see Shelley, tell her she owes me five bucks. She knows why.


PS: Sorry for the quality of the video. I used a digital camera to tape a vhs copy from the tv. And the reception was bad. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Monday, October 2, 2006

I'm only just now over the trauma

So I think I can finally describe the "adventure" that was getting Audrey's hair cut.
I met the intrepid and brave Dana after we'd been given a hot chocolate (Audrey) and tea (me) by the kind receptionist. Dana took Audrey to the back to wash her hair as I took a seat at a nearby station to watch the festivities. This was 12:30pm.

At 4:30pm we emerged, hungry, tired and bedraggled. I'm not kidding. When Dana took one look at Audrey's curly mop, she decided it needed to be straightened with a blowdryer and flat iron before cutting in order to see what she was doing. Sounds straightforward doesn't it? No pun intended. That little, seemingly simple decision took 3 hours to execute. I kid you not. You could practically hear the curls screaming into smooth, glossy submission.

Despite the time it took, Audrey was a trouper and sat really well. We talked, cracked jokes and learned about the wonderfully patient Dana. In that amount of time we could have gone through the paperwork to legally adopt Dana.

With straight hair, Audrey looked so different. She looked older and not at all like my child. She loved it but to be honest, I hated it. I wanted my curly headed baby girl back. All in due time.
After the straightening Marcel took over for the cutting. He gave her a cute little layered look then thinned out the whole works. After the time it took to straighten it out, this part was a cakewalk.

Audrey did so well that I promised her a toy when we were through. We did that then went home to show the boys. Unfortunately her hair started it's inevitable regression back to puffiness. Audrey wouldn't stop combing through it, though. You should have seen her. She was slowing dragging the comb through her hair over and over and repeating "I love my straight hair". Poor girl. It wasn't to last. The next morning she looked like a madwoman as I insisted she get back into the tub so I could dump water on it. Not soon enough.

Well, she looks like my baby again. Only with slightly shorter hair. All is right with the world. And I hope Dana enjoys her monster tip. She totally deserved it. And a shout-out to her salon, The Cutting Edge.